Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Hook First - Then Line and Sinker

Sometimes you find nuggets of joy on AW, so when I found this blog, I decided to join in on the fun to see how my first paragraph would fare in their contest. I didn't win, but I got a healthy amount of votes that (if I remember right) landed me third place in that particular group. Yay.

One commenter hoped that I might enlighten them as to what is going on to create such a first paragraph/line, and I figured I'd share. After all, why not? I've already delivered Lucan upon a bunch of you guys, so the opening of Illusion's Trick is no big deal, especially since it is in need of some major repairs, and not much of this may survive. I even edited what you'll read below because I couldn't stand putting up the original version. I agree with several commenters that the first line isn't *quite* right, though whether it's because of "while" instead of "when" or something else, I'm still not sure, so I've just left it intact for now until I figure out what I want to do with it.

Anywho, this is where the first line leads, and if I had more "oomf" in me today, I'd supply a fast synopsis/pitch, but I don't remember where I scribbled it down. Oh well.

When other girls at the ages of five and six dreamed of being rescued from high towers by knights in shining armor, I dreamed of being kidnapped.

Sorry, before I give the wrong impression, let me qualify that. Yes, I did dream about being kidnapped, but not in the typical sense. I didn’t imagine strange people snatching me as I walked home from school or getting dragged off into a dark van or any equally disturbing scenario. I loved my family (and still do). The idea of running away into the real world scared me. No, I just thought it would be fun to be whisked away into a fantasy land. I dreamed that somewhere, somehow, a prince from a distant land completely unconnected to ours saw me and became so enamored he ordered his men to carry me away.

And they did.

And by the way, for those of you coming in from the first line contest (if anyone is), the boy eventually reappears much later when the girl here (Gabrielle) is grown. His name is Lucan, and you can read a juicy tidbit involving these two which was my post for the No Kiss Blogfest.

Hades and Persephone ~ View this in full here and check out Sandara's other amazing works. (Lucan isn't this dark, I just tend to associate him and Gabrielle as opposites attracting...deliciously.)

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