Thursday, May 25, 2006


I've organized a lot of my writing pieces. Some of you may have seen the dark blue binder I have which carries the maps I've made, along with various pieces and ideas for things. I stuck my revised #1 in there, so it got pretty crowded and thus I had to move a section into a different binder. I might even move more and keep the dark blue binder restricted to books 1-6.

But that's as much as I've done so far. The muses are still asleep, though I have had one stirring. I wanted to write a bit about Anna yesterday but then suddenly found myself out of commission and lying on my bed dying. Wasn't a very good time. So I didn't do much. I want to see a certain something in order to try and get things awake more, but I also want a writing desk for peace and quiet and good lighting. Honestly, after too long this yellow light in the computer room sucks. Hurts the eyes.

Perhaps instead of trying to come up with an entirely new scenario, I should just write down the two I have sitting in my head and get them down on paper. One deals with Anna, the other does not. My only slight worry of that is both have music that inspired them and I've had times like this before where I've had an awesome song for something and I just play it over and over to go with the writing. 7 minute song though one of them may be, the scene is just absolutely gigantic. It's a friggin' war for goodness sake. A lot of detail, a lot of stuff going on and I'd have to play the song for an infinate amount of time, which I don't want to do because the last time I did that I grew tired of the song and it doesn't impress me anymore. Heh, like I've sucked all the awesomeness out of it. I'd have to supplement this one with other music. I'd just have to. I really don't want to suck this song bone dry of all its coolness.

Either way, muses or no muses, I'm going to have to start forcing some stuff onto the pages. Be aggressive, b-e agressive and all that jazz. Stacey gave me two 5-subject notebooks, college ruled, as a graduation present. *drools everywhere* Yes, yes, I'm a slave to the blank page. She gave me some pencils too, and though they're not the kind I usually write with, they will be used - oh yes, they will. In fact, I should go look to see what size lead they have because I haven't thought to look until now.

Either way, I have the tools, so I guess I should just start improvising. Yes, that's the ticket.


Currently: A lil spaztic

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Wrong Key

So I've been holding off on reading a certain fanfic for, oh, all semester. Why? Basically because I was afraid that it would trigger a certain muse and I'd want to go on a writing rampage, but because of all the reading I had to do (amongst other things at the time) I wouldn't have the kind of time I wanted (hours on end) to write. However, last night I decided to risk it as I can finish my last three things in at the most three days, which I have, and read until 4am. However, things did not look promising. Still, I finished it today at risk of running out of shopping time (well not really, I just wanted to get out by 2 and didn't leave until at least 4ish. Part of that was because my grandparents got online and started chatting).

But to move on. The story disappointed me. It wasn't the right key, if I even want to bother calling it a possible key at all. And so that particular muse still sleeps, much to my aggrevation. I know there are keys to waking up the other muses as well, that's usually what happens, I just have to find them. It's like this is turning into a video game or something. Find the correct keys, get blocked by homework and tests and other crap, get to the muses, and finish the game by writing something super-awesome. Mmm...sounds nice. Despite the fact that this one didn't work, I think I know where I can find the real key, but I just have to wait. After all, it was the first opening of the door to that muse. He was awake and hanging around before then, but it wasn't until I did the reading that he came up, tapped me on the shoulder, and smiled right in my face. Ironically, that author is bogged down by the same things as myself.

So the others are still asleep, and I'm banging on the see-through coffin of one of them. It's a matter of time. Just a matter of time. I think another key will at some point be through Deviant Art...and something else somewhere....

It's just a matter of time.

Currently: A bit tired and weary

Friday, May 05, 2006

My Muses Sleep

All my muses are currently in comas.

I know, that sounds weird, but several times now I've sat in front of a notebook and have been just totally unable to write. It's not so much writer's block really, I just don't know where to start or end or anything. I know what I can write, but it's just not coming through, like there's a block in a creative pipe (so maybe it is writer's block) and I need a muse to come through and free things up.

This doesn't count because this is what it is - a ramble. Thoughts that float around in my head that really don't take too much creative thought (if any) at all. They're all there, my muses, I can see them all, but they're asleep, floating in clear coffins in a sea of starry darkness, like in some abyss I can't get to until I'm done with all this school nonsense. As though all this current junk causes so much interference they had nowhere else to go but sleep. Yeah, I know all that sounds melodramatic, but it sucks. Just as if you were a math major and couldn't get what you think is a simple problem to work out right and it makes you want to pull your hair out or cry. Or if you're a bio person and the experiments just aren't doing what they should be and there is no real reason why not. Ironically though, I'm not frustrated, because I know that it will all come back once I'm out of here at at home where I don't have to worry about homework anymore. I can focus on what I want to focus on and start sending out more things. Especially big things. Yes, big things.

My first book is all edited and pretty much ready to be sent to an editor/agent. I just need to make up some really good query letters and hope they like what they see. Rejection can bite my ass. I will be published. Even if it doesn't happen right away, I will be dammit.

All my characters are waiting. I just have to find the way back to them.

Currently: Searching for my muses