Thursday, March 02, 2006

Daytime Fantasies

This post might weird you out, but then again, some of you might do the same things so who knows?

Anyway, now that I've given you the disclaimer, I was going to come back home from class, put all my junk away, and then just flop down on my bed and pass out. However, as I figured would probably happen, the cold air outside woke me up (some...well, enough) so that I know flopping right down on bed wouldn't get me anywhere.

So instead I've decided to blog about what I was thinking during my Philosophy class today, and I can do this because it does relate to writing (which is what I wanted to keep this blog restricted to).

There are times when I zone out during class (and I'm sure most of you do this too), and think about whatever I want. It can range from a lot of things. One day my black dragon is curling around Watterson Towers and I'm the only one he'll listen to. Other days I'll be walking in the quad and one of my bad guys (currently deceased though he may be written) will show up and kidnap my ass out of this world. That's usually the typical thought that snakes in. It doesn't even matter - the guy can be anyone. He'll show up and take me with him right then and there to his world (or technically, mine). It's never a girl - because I'm usually the girl. One facet of me anyway, but that's another blog for another day. And I'm not gonna have one of my other girls come and retrieve me. They're pretty much all based on someone else. No offense, but screw that. My boys rule. The only problem is that there is always a stipulation and I can't seem to get away from it. I always have to leave, right there, and I can't ever explain to anyone where I've gone, which really sucks because then my family would be all distraught, not knowing where I went, thinking I've been kidnapped and lying dead in a ditch somewhere when I'm really in some lavish bed in different clothing, eating something pleasant and...well that's if I'm with one guy...I'm not sure it would be so pleasant with the other. Heh, I might get thrown in a dungeon, but that's a whole other concept in itself (no, if you're thinking along the lines of kinky sex, for God's sake go to a church and confess to having a dirty, dirty mind. Sheesh.).

Anyway, that's one thing I think about. Now you can put your mind in the gutter because other times I'll be thinking about sex. I won't lie. It's true. Most of the time it's not me though. It usually revolves around a story, a couple of characters in whatever situation, good times and all that. Well, I guess I could say that I'm involved since I've already said that most of my female characters (main ones) are based on me or some characteristic of me. So in a sense it's not really the true me, just one side. But that's beside the point. It amuses me, to get to the basic point about all this daydreaming. Do you ever wonder (probably not, but now you will, haha) how many people are thinking about sex while in a class? I don't mean, "Man...I need to get some." No, no, not the fleeting thought, I mean having all out fantasies. It's good times. I suggest you try it sometime. Then again, I don't know how any of you people would handle it because for me it's all rather casual. I'm sort of writing as I fantasize, coming up with descriptions, hand placements, eyes, words, etc. etc. I usually have to rewind and do some editing. Add something in, change some lines there, continue on. Hahaha, now that I think about it, it's like I might as well be directing pornography. But it's good stuff, not that lame ass shit they crank out these days. Got that "real" quality in there, as much as it can be real seeing as it's just some random fantasy. No one would probably ever think it of me, which makes things even more amusing. They'd probably think I was totally zoning out or thinking of what I'd like to have for dinner later. Not that I don't sometimes.

Ironically enough, this stuff never gets written. Yeah. That's not to say I haven't ever written any of said scenes - I've written the same one twice, another as a gift to someone (that one was fuckin' hard by the way), and I think another just for kicks. I don't remember because the last time I wrote a scene was freshman year and that was the gift one. So if I fantasize as often as I do, why don't I write it out? Well for starters, I like to give my characters their privacy. Yes, I know that may sound dumb to you, but my characters aren't on the page to satisfy a reader's taste for sexual literature. And it really doesn't need to be in there. I imply it, and I feel that is enough. Secondly, I would strive for accuracy, and well, seeing as I've never hopped in the sack with anyone, one could say I wouldn't know what I was talking about. True, imagination is pretty handy, but in the long run I'm missing out on key items; scents, feelings, touch, etc. etc. I suppose I could write it and get it across, but at the same time it's a bit like describing say, the experience of eating ice cream when one has never had ice cream. Sure they could make it up, easy enough, but experience goes a long way.

That's not to say I'm about just go have sex though. And besides, I'm quite content with my fantasies as they are now. Hehe. XD

Currently: A Lil Tired and Dreamy

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