Query Letter Hell

I am indeed in query letter hell.

In both senses of the word.

Several times now, my query letter has floated around in the forums at Absolute Write. Several times now, it's been dissected into small pieces. Which is what I want, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't post it there.

Except I can't seem to make it better.

For some bizarre reason, I'm fighting an uphill battle with this particular query letter. I've written at least one query letter before, and while that doesn't make me an expert on writing them, that one got me several agent nibbles at least - one of them was the third agent I queried and would love nothing more than to work with.

So what the heck is going on with this one?

I can't seem to hit the nail on the head when it comes to voice. I'm incapacitated in some way when it comes to conveying the ideas I want to convey (or think I need to convey). Maybe I should go shorter. I don't know. I've written, rewritten, rearranged and added, reorganized and changed, rewritten, and more.

When I thought perhaps I'd reached a happy(ish) place, I sent the query to a very small number of agents. As if the cosmic universe were paying attention, one agent responded - and actually commented on the letter, stating that perhaps if it were just a bit stronger, she might have asked for material.

Well hot diggity dog - a real live agent response with advice! I promptly thanked her. I mean really, you can't ask for much more than that when all you've sent off to an agent is your query. Unless, of course, the agent puts that in all the form e-rejections...but I doubt it. That doesn't make much sense since some queries (as we all know) can be downright frightening.

Whatever the case, I took it as a sign that I need to work harder. Which sucks since I'm ready to tear this (and every) query into tiny little pieces while horns pop out of my head and flames appear in my eyes. Despite said demonic feeling, instead of doing freelance work like I'd ordered myself to do earlier, I ended up working on yet another query. One completely different from any of the others I'd written. I'll see how that flies over in Query Letter Hell.

And until I get one that functions, I'll continue to stew in Query Letter Hell.

But I'm getting to the point where I really, really hate queries and their whole existence.


DAMN YOU, QUERY!

Let's Talk About Love

Normally I don't put this sort of thing out there, but I was thinking about it last night and found it rather interesting. I often leave my characters behind their closed doors, and hardly ever put them in a blog, but once I get something in my brain, I think about it until I can get it out somewhere (which is why I wish Pensieves were real).

I have several different books and several different couples in them. It's interesting to see when those couples finally get together. Each one is, well, different. Whether they're hooking up for the first time or just lying together in bed, no one is the same. I'd thought long ago about how they would sleep together (spooning, separate, etc.) but it was just last night when I realized how different their first sexual encounters are. Ok, let me add that this is a really weird thing for me to talk about. Haha. Normally my characters hook up off screen, but the last two stories I've worked on, it's going to be on screen. And after all, they're characters, so who the hell cares?

So I thought I'd sort of map it out. Put my couples here and list their, er, style and then sleeping preference. Don't freak out, there's not going to be any detail. In fact, I'm not even going to bother with full names and just use first initials. Think of it like an anthropological study.

K♀ & A♂: Sex: Missionary. K is a very dominant guy and prefers dominant positions. Besides, they allow him to watch his and A's backs for danger. He's kind of paranoid like that. Sleep: K likes to sleep with his head on A's tummy, his arms wrapped around her.

E♀ & M♂: Sex: Probably missionary. I say probably because these two started out married, and any intimate stuff is off stage. However, E's a versatile guy and always happy to please, so if M ever asked for something different, he'd give over in a second. Sleep: These two tend to spoon with E's arms around M since he's just as protective as K up there and cut from the same cloth.

W♀ & T♂: Sex: Lap dance. Actually, these two don't do this until after the book, and I haven't thought about them in a long time. Yet somehow this seems like the right position for them to be in. Expect serious eye contact. Sleep: W sleeps on his back while T snuggles up next to him, almost on his chest.

V♀ & A♂: Sex: Woman-on-Top. As K's daughter, she has a dominant streak, not that this is anything creepy. And she's more than willing to switch from time to time. Sleep: These two totally snuggle together, all tangled up.

D♀ & A♂: Sex: Missionary. These two really wanted to hook up and this was the easiest and fastest position. Sleep: Close, facing each other, hands together. D likes A to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up. It helps remind him that she's still there with him.

L♀ & G♂: Sex: Missionary to Woman-on-Top. These two have a 2-round session their first time together since they're making up for lost time. The first part is tender while the second is G wanting her have her way just right with L. Sleep: I haven't actually thought of this because they pretty much went straight from sex to continuing their journey and don't get a normal sleep together until the book is done...

W♀ & C♂: Sex: Sort of halfway between Doggie Style and Reverse Cowgirl. Both of them were kneeling and W had his arms around C the entire time. This, actually, was my first on screen sex scene. It might also make you snicker if you knew W's origins. Sleep: Any number of ways, though W usually has at least one arm around her at all times.

I do have a few other couples, but I've never thought about their specific hookup moments or after-the-moment sleep. However, seeing all this variety makes me happy because it shows I don't have the same thing going on all the time. I feel that's important -especially if it's going to be on screen. That way your readers don't get bored. And we all know a great way to keep a marriage going is to keep the sex life spicy! Funny though, since I'm not married. Haha.


Oh, and in case you haven't heard, e-reader prices are down significantly, Kindle to $189 and Nook to $149 (unless you want 3G service included, then it's $199).