Contender for the Most Misused Word in the English Language

I was thinking I should post something useful, seeing as I now have followers - a strange, yet fun fact - and what better to put up than something from the one and only Tim Esaias.

Now, I realize that most (or all) of you won't have any idea of who Tim is. I really ought to put up a post about Seton Hill since I often refer to it but never fully explain what it is. I'll make a note of that. Until then, Tim teaches there, offering up his tidbits of wisdom and showing many of us the joys of weaponry, fortifications, and what we really ought to keep out of our novels and writing work in general. He's got some of the best ideas I've heard in....well, since I started writing, actually. There are several items Tim takes issue with; smiling, nodding, moon phases in fantasy worlds, stage directions, and the grimace (a word I think I've only used once in my entire writing career...if you can call it a career anyway).

But today I'd like to share with you one of Tim's posts on the Seton Hill message board concerning one particular word: prodigal.

Prodigal.

It's true that glance is horribly misused, and used more commonly. And there're nauseous and hopefully as major rivals. But it would be hard to equal the percentage of misuse this word gets.

The word is so commonly misused, that the best strategy for a writer is never to use it. The audience won't know what you mean by it, so what's the point?

It means spendthrift. It does NOT mean went away for a while.

The reason that most people don't know the correct meaning is that they run across this word in just two confusing contexts: the parable of the Prodigal Son, and the expression "the Prodigal returns."

In the parable the elder son takes his inheritance in cash, goes away from home, and BLOWS IT ALL. It's the blowing the money that makes him prodigal. He returns because he's flat broke. The phrase is a reference to this event in the parable: the return and the father killing the best herd animal to greet him, despite his being a spendthrift.

This reader/copyeditor is sick to death of people using this word incorrectly. He would also like to protect his friends, colleagues and students from appearing to be culturally ignorant, not to mention semi-illiterate, hence this brief note.

It is true that one dictionary company has decided to enshrine American ignorance by accepting the incorrect definition, based on common misuse. It is also true that ignorance is one of the engines of linguistic change. That does not mean, this writer feels, that embracing ignorance is a virtue. He treats that idea with scorn; spurns it with his heel; and shakes from his sandals the dust of any city which accepts it.

Here endeth the rant.

Personally, I only feel a little stupid. I've never used the word "prodigal" in any of my writings, so I've never had the chance to misuse it. However, I thought it meant something completely different from both of these (wrong and right) definitions.

At least now I know better.

I also miss my access to the OED online.


"Oh father, I've returned! ...Can I get another $200?"

Clash of the Titans

In case you haven't heard yet (and if you're an author, you should have), there's a nasty little tiff going on between Amazon and Macmillan. Basically it's a price thing. I mean, isn't it always? Always about money.

But I thought perhaps I'd give a shoutout to the BookEnds blog, because Jessica Faust speaks of how the author pretty much always gets left behind in issues like this, how it sucks, and how it's not fair.

Also be sure to pop on over to PubRants to see a letter from John Sargent.

But if you want to hear an uplifting post - at least, about ebooks - then Nathan Bransford's blog is the place to be. (not sure I agree about all of that, but I like that he's gung-ho about things)

Choose your destiny.

Hook First - Then Line and Sinker

Sometimes you find nuggets of joy on AW, so when I found this blog, I decided to join in on the fun to see how my first paragraph would fare in their contest. I didn't win, but I got a healthy amount of votes that (if I remember right) landed me third place in that particular group. Yay.

One commenter hoped that I might enlighten them as to what is going on to create such a first paragraph/line, and I figured I'd share. After all, why not? I've already delivered Lucan upon a bunch of you guys, so the opening of Illusion's Trick is no big deal, especially since it is in need of some major repairs, and not much of this may survive. I even edited what you'll read below because I couldn't stand putting up the original version. I agree with several commenters that the first line isn't *quite* right, though whether it's because of "while" instead of "when" or something else, I'm still not sure, so I've just left it intact for now until I figure out what I want to do with it.

Anywho, this is where the first line leads, and if I had more "oomf" in me today, I'd supply a fast synopsis/pitch, but I don't remember where I scribbled it down. Oh well.

When other girls at the ages of five and six dreamed of being rescued from high towers by knights in shining armor, I dreamed of being kidnapped.

Sorry, before I give the wrong impression, let me qualify that. Yes, I did dream about being kidnapped, but not in the typical sense. I didn’t imagine strange people snatching me as I walked home from school or getting dragged off into a dark van or any equally disturbing scenario. I loved my family (and still do). The idea of running away into the real world scared me. No, I just thought it would be fun to be whisked away into a fantasy land. I dreamed that somewhere, somehow, a prince from a distant land completely unconnected to ours saw me and became so enamored he ordered his men to carry me away.

And they did.

And by the way, for those of you coming in from the first line contest (if anyone is), the boy eventually reappears much later when the girl here (Gabrielle) is grown. His name is Lucan, and you can read a juicy tidbit involving these two which was my post for the No Kiss Blogfest.


Hades and Persephone ~ View this in full here and check out Sandara's other amazing works. (Lucan isn't this dark, I just tend to associate him and Gabrielle as opposites attracting...deliciously.)

1st Draft: Finished

The completion of a first draft is at once a triumph and a depressing moment.

Sure, you've written those magical words - "The End" - and at the time they seem to tie up everything in the story into a neat little bow.

And yet, now that you've finished, you get to go back and look at all the glaring mistakes. All the things you did wrong. All those tiny plot pieces that need to be fixed. All. Those. Things. They're just sitting there, lurking, waiting, and you have to go back and look at them all and fix them and it seems like you're writing the damn thing all over again.

Ugh.

And then, of course, if you have a critique partner (or two or three), they get to point out all the screw ups you haven't seen. All the things your audience would see and wonder about (which is why you have the critique partners and betas in the first place). So you sit back and read their comments and get all pissed. Not because they're pointing out stuff, but because now you have to go back and fix it and you just want to be done already so you can start querying, and yet at the same time you know you can't because querying what you have now would just be like shooting yourself in the foot because no agent/editor in his/her right mind would take your book.

It's a prime headdesk moment.

I suppose I can't complain. It's just tiring. Yes, I've just finished a first draft (ok, I finished it yesterday), but now I have a list of things to do, a list I've been compiling that just seems to continue growing. And I don't want to go back and fix it. I'm tired. Again, for people who don't think writing is work, you can go $#!% off because it is, and I'm tired and I can't do it anymore. True, I shouldn't complain, being that this draft is a record breaking 3ish months for me (though honestly, I think if you condense the days I actually worked on it, it's more like 2 which is RIDICULOUS for me, but hey, that's what happens when a muse sits on your shoulders and doesn't. Leave. You. Alone.), but still.

Other writers understand, I'm sure. That moment where you've written so much for so long you can't write anymore lest you puke all over your manuscript or set it on fire or just yell, "I HATE YOU" at your computer screen. Yeah. I'm at that point now. Which is kind of depressing since I was having such a grand time with this story. But alas, now I see its flaws and it's bumming me out.

But hey, whatcha gonna do? (and yes, I will accept calling the Ghostbusters as an answer)

Until then, enjoy this interview with Jill Myles on writing sex scenes. I haven't read her book yet, but it's on my list.


Yep. That's me.

Dos and Don'ts (Mostly Don'ts)

As a member of the Absolute Write Water Cooler (where I tend to go to procrastinate, so in hindsight, maybe joining wasn't such a great idea), I often mosey on over to more people's blogs. Often more than I would under normal circumstances. Procrastination. What can I say?

But I have found a few fun nuggets. The other day I found this by Kate Hart, aspiring YA writer, and it got me thinking about how I react to certain questions people put to me when I tell them I'm a writer. First off, do these. But that's pretty much after you're published, so those don't really apply to me (yet). For now, keep these in mind when it comes to questions not to ask:

• "So what's the book is about?" Frankly, I hate this question. I'm willing to tell you what genre it is, and that's pretty much it. Summing up my book(s) to people on a constant basis ruffles my feathers. Mostly because I'm uncomfortable divulging summaries about works that are fantasy or SF since basically everyone asking me doesn't really read those genres. Likewise a lot of people that don't tend to think poorly of them, which leads into the next point.
  
  
• "Are you seriously writing that?" Exactly what Kate said: Don't be condescending. Nothing sucks more than a person who disses on your book/genre/the fact that you call it work. I've been lucky in that I've only ever experienced one jackass who stated that he thought F/SF was lame and then for some bizarre reason proceeded to grill me about my book. I can't remember the last time I was that uncomfortable. And yes, writing a novel is a pain. You write over 70,000 words and see how easy it is. Just because we choose to do it and yes, it is fun sometimes, it doesn't mean it's all candy and roses. Why else do you think not everyone aspires to be an author?
  
  
• "Can I read it?" I've actually let two people that have asked this question read my work. I trusted them for several reasons, 1.) I was in high school and they were good friends 2.) they weren't writers so they sure as hell weren't going to steal it 3.) the writing was far from being good enough anyway, 4.) it was all handwritten. These days, I again agree with Kate. Read my book when it's published, okay? I'd like to get paid for all my hard work too, you know.
  
  
• "When will it be published?" I guess since I said you can't read it now, you want to know when you can. Look, if a person says, "I'm writing a book," please pay attention to verb tense. You took basic English in school right? You should know that "writing" means in the process of doing so. That means it's not finished. Only when you're told that the book is going to be published by so-and-so publisher can you ask for the date.
  
  
• "When are you going on Oprah?" I thought this one was actually kind of funny. If anyone ever asked me that, I'd probably look at the person like he was a moron. Take a look at Oprah's book list and tell me when she's ever read a F/SF book. Either way, yeah, don't ask this because it's truly a stupid question. Oprah picks the books to read, not the other way around. And they're usually depressing or generally emo in some way.
  
  
• "So will you be like [insert ultra-famous author here]?" No. Not unless I'm the next luckiest sonofabitch that walked the Earth. For some reason, people tend to think that just because a handful of authors make 6 figures (or more), the majority of authors do. In fact, the majority of authors DO NOT and have to bust ass to keep producing books for readers just to make a comfortable living. Hell, you're lucky if your book ends up as a modeled title (a certain number of books has to be in the store) at Barnes & Noble.
  
  
• "Why don't you write about [subject in no way related/similar to what you're writing]?" Because I don't like it or I can't do it. Personally, I just can't do mystery and am awed by people who can come up with new scenarios as to why there's a dead body in the next room over and over and over again. By the way asker, you may be working in an office - why don't you work on a crab fishing boat instead, hmm?
  
  
• "Is that sex scene autobiographical?" I laughed when I saw this one. I've never been asked this and though I might be a little "..Uuuh...." if I were, I could easily answer. NO. (I was watching you.)
  
  
• "Do I get a free copy when it's published?" NO. GO BUY THE BOOK. I'm not a fan of this question, yet I hear it all the time, or I hear it in statement format, "I'd better get a copy when it's published!" Yeah, sure. I just took a year or longer to put this together, spent God knows how much on stamps and paper and ink and envelopes just to land an agent, waited another year or more for the agent to sell it, and another year or longer for it to actually come out in it's published form. I don't understand why people, even if only marginally acquainted with me feel they're entitled to free stuff. But I always smile and laugh and say, "Sure." (Though the real answer, again, is NO.)
  
  
• "Why isn't it dedicated to me?" I've never had this question either, or any varation thereof, but I'd probably just look at the person as though he had issues. Don't be a greedy prick. Writers take inspiration and strength from all walks of life. And by the way, how do you know you're not in the dedications? And if you're not in the first book, how do you know you're not in the second? Either way, if you're not, then you obviously aren't special enough. Get over yourself.
  
  
• "Is it any good?" Again, never had this question. Most of us writers tend to think it's good. We'll know the truth when we find an agent or editor. Until then, yes. And when it gets published, then yes. How the hell do we know what you'll think of it?
  
  
• "Am I in it?" Kate said she hates this question. I got this all the time and it always made me laugh. I think I may have ranted about this question sometime in the past, actually. When you hear this question enough, then yes, it can get annoying. What people fail to consider though, is that you might be in the book. And you might be a character that dies. Eh? How about them apples? I use friends and create characters for them and once handed them out as Christmas gifts. Hell, I eventually wrote a book using all of them (needs revising). Generally speaking though, don't ask this because 99% of the time the answer is going to be a resounding NO. Even if the person you're asking dances around the question. They're dancing around it because the answer is either no, or they killed you (or just seriously f*cked you up).

Print this out writers, and pass it around to your friends and family. Maybe they'll never bother you about your writing again. Haha. And for non-writers, well, now you know better. ;D

WHOO HOO!

War for the Oaks by Emma Bull

I won I won I won!!

Freaking A! Shara got 43 entries and used a randomizer website to pick two winners and joy of joys - one was mine! While I admit I've already read this book, I thought it would be oodles of fun to read again - especially now that it's got an updated cover. You know what this book kind of reminds me of? A little bit of fairy-tale goodness and Labyrinth all rolled up into a sheet of rockin' 80s music. Haha. That and I adored the phouka. He gave me a bit of inspiration for my current WIP,in fact. *yay!*

Man. I seem to be winning mail roulette a lot lately. All I need now is to win "steady job" roulette and I'll be good as gold. Until then, it's back to freelancing!

Shara's 2009 Top Ten GIVEAWAY!

While at Seton Hill University to get my MA in Writing Popular Fiction, I met a girl by the name of Shara. An upbeat, outgoing person and a voracious reader, every year Shara does a giveaway from her Top Ten list.

That's right. You send her an email, and if you win you get a free book.

How awesome is that??

I thought I'd spread the word, as she encourages people to do. So go visit her site, poke around to see which book you wouldn't mind having on your shelf, and put your name in the hat. A few years back I won The Now Habit by Neil Fiore, so if you're wondering if this Shara person really does give away books, she does. Whee! I've already sent my entry in and have my fingers crossed!

Check out the GIVEAWAY: 2009 Top Ten List!

Be sure to act fast, because the giveaway ends January 13th!


Yay free books!

Research (and lots of it)

I find myself more inclined to update this blog now that I have followers. Makes me feel special. Hah. One never really knows how many people may be reading their blog, but now I know that a few people do, and what better way to keep them around than by providing content to read? Granted, it may not be timely content, or always useful (as this is my writing blog and can be quite casual), but it's something to read nonetheless.

So the other day I was thinking about all the weird and seemingly random research I've had to do over the years for my writing. Put all together, it's just....weird. I mean, regularly a person wouldn't ever need or even desire to look up half this stuff, and yet when you become a writer, research is important, even necessary, no matter what you decide to write about. Some people may think that writers of fantasy or science fiction or even romance don't have to do research, but they couldn't be further from the truth (and we know it). So I've decided to compile a list of all the things I've researched (that I can remember), and while I'm at it, I encourage others to showcase their research as well, and maybe we'll remind people about all the work we put into our novels, no matter how ficiticious or ridiculous they may be.

• Future weaponry (I intend to put a thank you to the FBI in that novel; thanks for not knocking down my door and arresting my ass for all the stuff I've looked up)
• Different species of deer
• Parthenogenesis
• Poison plants (one of the reaons I'm itching to get my hands on Wicked Plants by Amy Stewart)
• Weapons from past centuries (swords types, distance weapons, the effect of various weapon on various types of armor, metals, you name it)
• Quantum Physics
• Theoretical Physics (Michio Kaku is my hero)
• Human biology
• Medical advances and future ideas
• Cell biology
• Pathogens
• Nanotechnology
• Wolves
• Castle fortifications
• Fighting styles (using both my firsthand knowledge and examining other styles)
• Clothing (time frames vary from medieval to possible future fabrics)
• Hiking equipment (making sure they still make 'em like that)
• Mythology (fairy rings, gods, legends, creatures, etc.)
• Magical properties of items (flowers, stones, plants, etc.)
• Languages
• Rock climbing without present day equipment
• Seafaring vessels
  

That's all I can think of right now, though I'm sure there are more things I've forgotten.

It can't be tiring sometimes, all that research. And let me say, science fiction is more of a pain in the ass than any other genre I've dabbled in. Especially when you get Earth involved.

Good reference books are priceless.

On the Red-Eye

...You know you're having a good writing time when it's past 3:30 in the morning and your brain says, "You should go to bed now" and the rest of you says, "Yeah, but let me finish this scene first."

*plays some air guitar while I'm at it*


Heheh. Yeah.

Answer the Question!

I discovered this on another writer's blog, and though I have no one to tag (yeah, it's one of those), I figured I'd do it anyway just for something fun. Enjoy, my nonexistent readers.

What's the last thing you wrote? What's the first thing you wrote that you still have?
Does it have to be completed? Because the last thing I wrote was a huge freaking chunk of what's temporarily called Kingdom of Red (kissing scene in the Dec. 21st post). As for the first thing I wrote that I still have, I honestly couldn't tell you because I've kept a LOT of my junk. I think I'll go with Book #4, which is actually a completed manuscript of 347 pages I wrote when I was in high school. I'm currently revising the hell out of it.

Write poetry?
Not as much as I used to.

Angsty poetry?
*snicker* Not as much as I used to.

Favorite genre of writing?
Fantasy. Always.

Most annoying character you've ever created?
To me or to the reader? I have a scientist named Renard who annoys the hell out of everyone, but I love him. ...I don't actually think I have any characters that annoy me personally...

Best plot you've ever created?
The whole storyline involving my evil, evil dragon. I mean, he is bad.

Coolest plot twist?
I actually have Hell rise up and basically kill everyone. The Apocalypse, only not what we here on Earth would have expected (as this takes place elsewhere before spilling over here). Maybe not really a plot twist, but it's certainly different from everything else that's happened to those poor characters!

Write fan fiction?
Just twice, when it's in my brain so much I need to get it out. Doctor Who and Pirates of the Caribbean. Otherwise I'll just dream the storyline away and be done with it.

Do you type or write by hand?
Both. I used to write by hand exclusively, but sometimes an idea barges in so violently that I can't write fast enough. Usually I can't think when typing a story (weird blockage of ideas...very strange), but if they're strong enough, then it works. Strange, I know, but that's how it works.

Do you save everything you write?
Yes...just in case. *shrug*

Do you ever go back to an idea after you've abandoned it?
Depends on the idea. Some stuff I write just for shits and giggles, so it's easy to abandon. Other things might come in handy. I have a few short stories that some might consider abandoned given the amount of time I've let them sit, but I think that if I just went back and altered some of them (a lot), they could be good enough to submit to places.

What's your favorite thing you've ever written?
Book #2. I have to revise it like nobody's business, but I still love it and it was a blast to write. Almost 500 pages in a year. Haha. Yeah, needs some work.

What's everyone elses favorite story that you've written?
I don't know. Not many people have read these things because they're all executed poorly in terms of writing style (POV, verb tense, adverbs, etc.). But at least everyone seems to enjoy my dragon. >=D

Ever written romance or angsty teen drama?
No angsty teen drama. I was able to avoid that crap in high school (more than others at least) so why revisit it? But romance, oh you betcha.

What's your favorite setting for your characters?
Any place other than Earth. Even my humans from Earth are never seen on it. HA!

How many writing projects do you have going right now?
I have one I'm submitting to every freakin' agent under the sun. I have two others I'm writing, and I've just started to revise an older one. But if you really wanted to get technical about it, the total would be seven (four need revising, I'm actually in the process of writing two, and I'm submitting the one). And that's if you don't count the others with large chunks done.

Have you ever won an award for your writing?
Does a scholarship count? If so, then yes, $500.

What are your five favorite words?
Gosh....I honestly don't know. Though I do like "glittering." I love the visual it evokes.

What character have you created that is most like you?
Caroline and Gabrielle....probably why those are the two written in first person.

Where you do get your ideas for your characters?
Oh geezo...everywhere. Friends, family, my crazed imagination, movies, music, and sometimes they evolve as they go.

Do you ever write based on your dreams?
Just once. A short story that may not be savagable in the end. Daydreams on the other hand, oh yes.

Do you favor happy endings?
Absolutely! Evil never wins in my books. Even if I have killed off the main characters in two books. But I often have a "bring-back-to-life" plan for certain occasions. Except for one of them...heh.

Does music help you write?
YES. Go take a look at my Epinions page and take note of how I've reviewed over 70 soundtracks and then you'll know just how important music is (and not always soundtracks either!)

Quote something you've written. Whatever pops in your head.
"Werbowski is in a fucking coma, Renard! He's got a good chance at being a goddamn vegetable for the rest of his life!" (Scott was so mad - I love it).

Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?
Yes for both, though I'm not perfect. I often forget commas between compound sentences using "and" and probably some other things grammar Nazis would get me on. Which is why I like grammar Nazis to look at my work from time to time.


Best mug ever. (mine)

The No Kiss Blogfest!

Welcome back (if you visited the first time) - this time to the No Kiss Blogfest! Inspired by the previous Kissing Day Blogfest, we're now totally celebrating in the "almost kiss."

I almost posted this one last time, but wanted to do an actual kiss. Now I'm glad I did that, because now I get to post this one under a more appropriate blogfest - and it's one of my favorite parts of this particular WIP, Illusion's Trick.

Ladies, meet Lucan.

I exhaled a long breath. Relax. Nothing weird will happen this time. I closed my eyes and stood motionless beneath the hot shower spray.

As soon as I’d finished the thought, a pair of hands slipped around my waist.

I shrieked and stumbled around, pulling away and banging my shin into the faucet as I spun around to slam my back into the tile wall. He was here. In my shower. Standing quietly in the water and…ho…my God…he was naked.

He smiled, that slow, know-everything-about-me smile. “Hello again, Gabrielle.”

“Wha,” was all I could get out, a noise between a question and a shout.

He was…impressive. Lean with a musculature that spoke of strength and latent power like one of the mixed martial arts fighters I always watched on TV. A jagged, violent-looking scar ran around his side, slicing down from his ribs to curve over and end at his abdomen. Another cut down the inside of his right arm, from elbow to wrist, and another, thinner and more faded scar scored over his left bicep. I wondered what he’d done to receive them. A bit of mirth found its way into his smirk. At my expense, no doubt.

I straightened. I was naked, he was naked, but I refused to cower against the wall in my own shower. I couldn’t let myself feel like the only vulnerable one when we both wore the same thing—nothing.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded, trying to look at his face and not the rest of him.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t wanted me here,” he said, cocking his head ever so slightly.

The non-stranger, stranger in the shower scenario. God damn it. I managed to hold back the maniacal grin that threatened to appear. How could I have forgotten that one?

“I can’t just accept a strange man in my shower like this,” I said. Quite a pathetic statement, actually. While in my dreams it was partially true, I always acquiesced in the end. Now that it had become a lot more real, I wasn’t so sure it was a good idea.

“I’m not sure you have much choice at this point,” he said, watching me intently. What a gentleman—he had me naked and yet he kept his gaze on my face. An improvement for him, I decided.

“Or,” he continued, “I could wait until you’re finished and be the one to approach you then.”

“What? I don’t have any other shower fantasies.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he said. “I know for years you stepped out of here only to pretend you’ve stepped out of the rain onto the threshold of a strange house.”

I gaped at him. By God, he was right. I meant to speak, but only made a sort of choking sound. This guy knew everything! Even I’d forgotten that one!

“Damn,” I muttered, stuck between irritated and impressed. I shifted more toward irritated since I was starting to get cold. His highness had scared me into the corner and now took up most of the water. I began inching my way along the edge of the shower back into the spray.

“Well,” I said, trying to figure out how to convince him to move, “you could. It would be more polite.” Because then I’d at least have a towel.

Suddenly his hands slapped the tile on either side of me, trapping me against the wall. He leaned forward.

“I like this one better.”

His face was inches from mine and…was he moving closer? Shit. Not again. I tried to conjure up last night’s conversation, his smug grin, his underhanded comment about taking me without my immediate permission. It wasn’t working.

“I hate you,” I said, a lame attempt to rile him up enough to get him to back off. His lips brushed my temple.

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t lie to me,” he whispered.

In my mind I cursed to no end. I thought I’d managed to get over falling to pieces around him, but here I was, feeling weak and losing all resolve just like before. He did nothing more than trace the contours of my face with his mouth, lying in wait for some small signal from me to do more. I wanted to reach out and dig my nails into his back and drag him closer, wanted to feel him against me, to kiss him just to know what he tasted like. Instead, I kept my hands at my sides and scratched the tile, scraping a thin film of soap scum under my fingernails.

Mmm, tasty. This photo is property of Mercuralis. For heaven's sakes, if you want to see some super sweet art, check her out!

For the record...

Writing sex scenes is a pain in the ass.

Join The No Kiss Blogfest!

I should do this stuff more often. Yesterday I got the most comments in the history of this (or any that I've done) blog.

So that's why I'm joining in on the No Kiss Blogfest! Inspired by yesterday's Kissing Day Blogfest, Ms. Mallis over at Frankie Writes decided to go almost all the way with scenes that show not kissing, but the famous (or perhaps infamous?) "almost kiss."

Oooooh, can you feel the tension? I've got a good one planned, oh yes indeed. In fact, I got so excited about it, I actually have it set up already. It's just on automatic schedule thanks to Blogger, so once the date rolls around, at about 10:30ish am, it's going up!

So January 2, 2010, post your almost kiss and join in on the fun!


So close!

The Official Kissing Day Blogfest!

I found this while reading through the daily Yahoo Groups email from my fellow WPF alumni, and though Kaye Ducas's blog, found out about the Official Kissing Day Blogfest as started by Sherrinda. So I decided to jump into the fun. Took me some time to finally pick something out, and as much as I wanted to post one particular scene from my WIP, it's just not done yet, so I can't. *sad* Instead, I decided to go with another scene from the same WIP that happens much earlier.

Remember kids, WIP. It ain't perfect.

And for the record, he's not a serial killer. It was just a massive misunderstanding, so don't worry.

“I am not going anywhere with you!” I jerked out of his grasp. “You are crazy! This isn’t normal! Any of it!”

“Look, I am the only one that can find that girl and if you want to find her too, then you’ll have to stick with me, do you understand that?”

“Oy! Who are you talking to out there?”

We froze. A few of the giants climbed to their feet while the others leaned over to look outside the cave.

“No one!” Wolf called. “Just, ah, my mate! We were both looking for the morsel, but we’re going now!”

“I think not. She sounds an awful lot like that scrap we caught earlier. Let’s see her.”

I stared at Wolf, petrified.

“No, no!” he yelled back, his hands on my shoulders. “She’s got this silly fear of giants, says they’re too big for her taste.”

“We insist.”

The command was low, dangerous. Wolf gave me a tiny nod and gently pulled me forward so the giants could see me. The one with the club grunted.

“Thought so. Why didn’t you tell us you was a she-wolf?”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Wolf pinched me in my side.

“Oh!” I half-shouted. “I, um, was too scared.” I laughed weakly. “Concerned about my…food. At the time. Sorry.”

Their stony faces remained unconvinced.

“Show us your side then,” said one of the standing giants.

I gaped again. My side? What did that mean? My wolf side?

“You can’t,” Wolf said, his voice barely audible. “Run.”

They’ll just follow us. I racked my brain for an idea. I had no idea what they were looking for, but so far it didn’t sound much like humans were fond of wolves. Maybe…

“Well,” I spoke haltingly, “would a human woman do this?”

I looked up at Wolf and braced myself. Oh Caroline, you’ve gone off the deep end.

I grabbed his face and brought his mouth down on mine. He was surprised, but quickly recovered and put his arms around me, kissing me back and milking it for all it was worth.

This is so crazy. I’m kissing a possible serial killer. Ew. God where did I go wrong? This is so beyond screwed up...he tastes like berries and mint...

Finally I pulled away, collecting my bearings again. I’d just kissed a psycho who’d held a knife on me not so many hours earlier in order to stay away from giants. I wanted to move farther away, much farther away, but Wolf held me where I was, his forehead resting against mine looking for all the world like he’d just had the best day of his life.

Whoo hoo! Go mistletoe and kissing!

Yes? No?

Sometimes I simply don't understand agents.

I don't get mad about it. Instead, I just chuckle to myself and shake my head. I mean, really, could they confuse us poor authors any more?

For those starting out trying to create the "perfect" query letter, it can take them a bit of time before they realize that it doesn't exist. Or...perhaps it does. You just have to craft it to suit each and every agent's individual needs. And just as agents often talk about how they have so little time to read the hundreds of query letters they get each day (and they do), so can most of us writers talk about how we have so little time to specially tailor a query letter to every agent.

Now that's not to belittle agents. Likewise, that's not to say that most of us don't often tweak a letter here and there to make it more suitable. No, what I'm talking about are broader ideas.

I found a great example today while searching for agents to query.

One agency states, right on it's front page in their tips for queries, "Don't try and sell your work; that's our job!" True enough, it is their job, and yet every single person I have ever talked about with on the subject of query letters is that you need to sell your novel. That's the whole point of the query letter, is it not? Make your work so irresistible that the agent has to bite?

Indeed, not long after visiting them, I found another agent with an entire 3-page file devoted to crafting a great query letter (or at least a better one) and on the second page in big, bold font it says, "How to use selling points in your query letter" and by that they mean "all the book's major selling points."

Ha. Now this is NOT to alienate any agents out there, and I am NOT trying to be rude or snarky or anything but, gosh guys.

Could you confuse us any more? ;)


You know, I don't think agents even know what makes up the ideal query letter...

The Evolution of Tension

I like to put my characters in crappy situations. I love to hurt them, damage, them, and in general create chaos. A lot of writers do. Besides, how else are you going to get them to grow and change and make it so the readers care?

In 2007 when I was at Seton Hill University getting my Masters in popular fiction, Donald Maass, who owns the Donald Maass Literary Agency, graced us with his presence and discussed tension. Adding tension to the story in different ways. Constant tension. Tension in every line, if possible. Making scenes full of it. Now, this isn't the Michael Bay approach, that is to say, blow everything up with guns and car chases and big f-ing robots (though big f-ing robots are always cool), but just make it more....reader-hanging-on-your-every-word-ish.

I recently had a stroke of ridiculous inspiration (as most of my inspiration tends to be in some way ridiculous and I'm not sure why) and sat down at my computer to crank out about 100 pages in 4 (give or take) days. Now, as much as I'd like to press on, I'm going back to edit scenes that I've decided don't work and would be better off changing them now while the new ideas are fresh in my mind rather than later.

One of these scenes had to be entirely replaced. Why? No tension. A painful lack of tension, in fact. I wasn't happy writing it the first time, and that was just first draft, blow through it nonsense. So I sat back and considered how I wanted it to change. I had all the elements in my head, and after rearranging things a bit, I came up with a new scene, much more exciting, and fits better in the story.

Here's the original idea:

Hero and heroine need to find Character A, who has been caught by slave traders. The protagonists find the tent, go in after slight little hassle, only to find Character A has already been sold. Very little drama between protagonists and slave traders. Heroine is eventually convinced by Hero to purchase a slave, whom they free, and who I had no idea what to do with later in the story since it seemed completely stupid to have that moment and not use the freed slave later. I did have an idea, but it was so inconsequential and weak, I wasn't happy with it.

The new idea:

Heroine only goes into the tent after a slight hassle, as Character A has major issues with the Hero (believes he intends to kill her). Character A has not been sold off, and Heroine manages to buy her. Then Hero runs in to inform Heroine that Something Bad is on the way, causing Character A to freak out. In turn, slave traders freak out, and a less-than-organized fight ensues, which does not bode well for Heroine as she has no fighting skills at all. Character A runs from the tent and amidst confusion, Heroine frees bunches of slaves and Hero gets injured and a few people don't make it. Outside, Character A gets kidnapped by Something Bad, much to the dismay of Heroine and Hero. This also works better because Something Bad needed to pop up sooner, and this is the ideal place.

Much better. Ok, so I did go the Michael Bay way a bit, but there aren't any explosions or giant robots, so I'm kind of in the clear. Either way, it's a hell of a lot better than just having them go in there with no problems at all. It's actually less common to go the "no problem ensues" route, but that's basically because it's boring. Haha.

This is just one spot where things are improving. What I've added is also about the same size, if not slightly larger than the original section, so I haven't lost any pages in the process. In fact, after adding snipping and redoing this and other parts, the page number has become 110. Granted, there's still a lot of work to be done, but that's still around a 1/4 of a book. Awesome.

Oh, and here's the current count for any wondering:

Rejections: 22
Partial Requests: 3


Thanks for coming to Seton Hill, Mr. Maass!

The Price of Being Broke

I'm broke. And yet I'm still sending materials to potential publishers. When I say I'm broke, I mean it, though I sort of mean it in a technical sense that my checking account really wouldn't have anything in it if I didn't keep removing money from my savings account, which is now 50% of what it used to be, much to my utter dismay. But what can I do? I'm trying to work on as many projects as possible. Luckily I have a big payday coming up due to all those projects. That'll help immensely.

So what is the price of everything?

#10 envelopes: $0.98

9x12 manilla envelopes: $1.97

Pack of 20 Forever stamps: $8.80

Printer paper: $3.88

Getting an agent to take on your manuscript: Priceless

Of course, that last part hasn't happened yet, so I'm still just burning cash. Whoohoo! But there's really no way around it. I still email agents if I can, unless it looks like snail mail would get a better response, though there isn't really a better response when it comes to rejection. Rejections are what they are no matter how you query. But if an agent will take pages through snail mail and just a query in email, then I'll opt to send them pages instead, just so they can at least see the work I'm presenting instead of having to guess whether or not they'd even want to look at it through the query letter.

Don't get me wrong - that makes it sound like my query letter isn't up to par, but considering I've had one agent comment on it as of late, and was asked to send a partial during my first round of querying, I must have done something right in it. Still, I'll opt for pages any day of the week.

So what's the current count you may wonder? I'm not sure if I ought to post this or not, but I doubt any agent is going to bother looking at my little bloggy and rejections don't necessarily mean anything (every author has rejections under his or her belt - even big names like J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, and a whole mess of others), so I will.

My current numbers are:

Rejections: 12
Partial Requests: 1
Acceptances: 0 (obviously)

Still combing through agents to decide who to send to and who might enjoy my work, etc. etc. It's a long road ahead though I'm sure. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Envelopes and papers and clips, oh my!

Haaaaa....or not.

So I guess that will teach me to get excited when a place asks for pages. They said, "No thanks" two days later. Haaahahahaha.


In which case, don't expect to see a blog update every time someone asks for pages. The next time you'll see me stupidly excited is when someone asks for the full manuscript, and even then I might not say anything for fear of bringing up potentially false hope. Nothing is truly final until they say, "Yeah, we want to represent your stuff."


Woot.


In the meantime, I'm working on something new that I've probably mentioned before. Stuck under the 'paranormal romance' genre, Illusion's Trick is a nice changeup from the SF I've been battling with for the past two years-ish. I've got my little critique group all set up so I can get some good feedback. It's going to be a good time and here's hoping I can crank this baby out and start sending it to agents as well while the paranormal romance niche is still hot, hot, hot (because it is - no matter what you think of Romance, the truth is that it's pretty much the top-selling genre out there and they're not all bodice-ripping sex-taculars. Whatever you think about Romance, in fact, you're probably wrong.)



Yeah, I don't know.

Pages Please!

During Residency at Seton Hill (a week long of fun in the sun...except you're inside at class all day. But at least you're learning about how to properly fortify a castle or trying to stay one baby step ahead of the market or hearing crazy conversations, often involving Dr. Arnzen), the editor-in-chief of Del Rey books was there to give advice, be on a panel, and hear novel pitches from Fantasy and Science Fiction writers...like me.

And by the way, before I continue, you've probably heard me mention Dr. Arnzen before, so let me clarify. Dr. Arnzen is just one of these professors that you would kill to have. *snicker* And if you did in fact kill someone to get a spot in his class, he'd probably ask you about it and then possibly tell you how you could have done it better. Hah.

Ok, back on topic.

So the pitch was the most nerve-wracking part of the entire residency (at least for me). Doing my oral defense (basically reading parts of my novel and then answering questions about it) was just fine and dandy. I was excited and got into it, as I'm sure anyone who attended could tell you. Hehe. Then there was the teaching component. Also not worried. In fact, I quite enjoyed that. I had a great time and could easily stretch one part of my little 50 minute lecture into a 3-hour module and have a great time doing it. (so Dr. Wendland and Dr. McClain, if you ever read this - the second I'm published, I'm all for joining the team). Anywho, my pitch was less than stellar (and I screwed up a second possible hit later on, but have learned from it and don't really plan on going into that here today), but ultimately it didn't matter too much because:

A.) Del Rey doesn't take unsolicited manuscripts. Basically, you need an agent before you can even think of submitting to them.
B.) Due to A. I can think of it more as practice as anything else. More like a "what not to do" when pitching to someone important.
C.) Having an agent is handy anyway because even though they get a little cut of your book's sales, they handle all the business goodies to get you the best deal and keep you from getting screwed over royally.

If she wanted a manuscript, as the editor-in-chief she probably could have made an exception and taken one, but I don't think any of us had an awesome pitch so doubtless nothing really struck her fancy. They're likely swamped with manuscripts as it is. 99.9% of editors are these days.

So, The Pitch: Fail.

Secondary spontaneous pitch to agent later on that day: Fail.

When I got home, almost immediately (that is to say, a few days later once I'd managed to save my dog from almost certain death, but that's a whole other story) I started to send out query letters to agents. I started with three and eventually branched out to five.

I got my first rejection after 24 minutes. *lol* Now, unlike a lot of writers, rejection doesn't bother me. I've been dealing with rejections since I was in high school. Solid writers know that rejection is pretty much inescapable. It might as well be "Death, taxes, and rejection" for us. Anywho, in some ways I was impressed. It meant my email was promptly examined and responded to. That's more than what you can expect from a lot of places. Who knows, maybe I hit the send button at just the right time.

But that's not the news I've been talking about in my other blogs.

The news is that one agency I queried emailed back and asked to see some pages. *squeal*

Now, for those of you who don't know, when you send a one-page query letter, you have to make it kick as much ass as possible in order to show the agent that you have a book worthy of their time and ultimately publication. You have to do that in one page. Trust me, that stuff is hard. I think I revised my query letter three or more times. Some agencies will ask to see pages along with a query letter - it all depends. But generally, it goes like this:

1. You send a query letter made of awesome.
2. If they like what they see, they ask for pages (anywhere from 10-50).
3. You have a small party by yourself and oblige.
4. If they like the pages, they ask for the entire manuscript.
5. You have a bigger party by yourself and skip around town and cross your fingers and send them the manuscript.
6. If they like the whole thing, then they call you and you basically have landed yourself an agent.
7. Now you can throw a party and include people (note: you can't throw a really big party until you're actually published, haha)

Currently, I'm at stage 3 of this process. I'm excited (and no, you don't get to know which agency it is, but suffice to say that I've examined their list of books sold and can easily identify several of them on sight. Probably wouldn't be true if I didn't work in a bookstore, but again, this is why working at a bookstore is helpful) and reeeeeeelly hope that they ask to see more. I'm all twitchy that they only get some of the mellow things in the beginning (after the prologue of course) and would love nothing more than to offer them the rest of the good stuff. But I'll have to wait. Still, it's one small step that could lead to more.

HOORAY!


Yes. This is an actual picture of my printed manuscript.

Information Wellspring

I'm always on the lookout for informational goodies - books just chock-a-block full of nuggets focusing on a specific area. I thought today (er, tonight) that I'd share some of my findings. Some of these I own, most of them I want to own, and some I'd like to own but seriously have no use for them (yet...I'll probably get them at some point just in case. That and they're still super-interesting).

A World Treasury of Riddles by Phil Cousineau. In case you're looking for riddles, take a look at this book instead of the crap online. Not all of these riddles may work for you, but it's interesting to see some of the things different parts of the world have come up with.

Wicked Plants by Amy Stewart, my most recent find. Funny, because I remember some guy looking for this book many months ago, but neither I or whoever was looking it up thought much of it. It's got just about any poisonous or otherwise noxious plant you might want to know about, from the everyday poison ivy to the lesser known (at least to us) suicide tree. It's short, to the point, letting you know how the plant will kill or harm you, where its origins are, and how it spreads. It's a small book, for all it's nifty information, and one of the cooler books I've seen in a while.


Physics of the Impossible by Michio Kaku. Read it, loved it, and now own it. It was Dr. Who's box on the cover jumping through wormholes that caught my eye (yes, I kind of judge books by their covers, despite what we're all told). Kaku breaks it down into how "impossible" science fiction goodies really are, from ray guns to time travel. It's fascinating - even if you don't completely understand everything he's talking about all the time. Still, it's worth the read if you write SF in order to get a tighter grasp on some of your potential physics (depending upon what you're writing about and how hard you want the science to be). Read the full review here.


Weapon by DK Publishing. Anything made by DK automatically rocks my socks. Ever since I was a kid, I was always checking out DK Eyewitness books from the library. Dogs and Rocks and Minerals were my favorites. Imagine my joy when I discovered an adult version dealing with weapons. Naturally, they don't have everything, but they get close enough, complete with pictures and interesting tidbits, factoids, all in the spirit that is DK awesomeness. I don't have this one, and really wish I had the money for it, that way I could quit slogging through the Internet every time I want the name of a sword that I can't remember. It's a big book (not thick so much as just coffee table sized), and if weapons aren't your thing, there's also Warrior, Battle, and Battle at Sea. I just haven't had the proper time to examine them.

The Encyclopedia of Crystals by Judy Hall. I know. It's a new agey book, so how's that going to help? First of all, while I love DK stuff, I find that even their fieldguides can be a bit overwhelming. I've always loved rocks, minerals, gems, and so on, considered being a geologist when I was 6, and had a great time in geology class during college. But throughout all those years, never could settle on a good rock/crystal book. Now that I'm into Fantasy, I found a book that works out perfectly. This encyclopedia is color-coded and offers new age insight into what certain minerals and crystals can be used for (i.e. drawing energy, promoting power, and more). It does give some scientific bits as well, makeup, location, hardness, etc. But it's handy for magical systems and other spots that raw earth materials might be used. And it includes gorgeous pictures as well.


The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures by John & Caitlin Matthews. I did a lot of research for this one. I'd been trying to find a good, solid list of mythological creatures and as usual, found myself disappointed with the Internet. I compared this book to a few others, narrowed it to two, painstakingly compared those, and ended up with this one. It's an alphabetical listing of as many mythical creatures as you're going to find throughout the world and its legends. I needed new ideas for potential creatures and use this for inspiration. They say that good writers borrow, great writers steal. Well, I'm stealing animals and modifying them to my tastes and worlds, so there you go. The best part about this book? It's cheap. Jackpot.

Planet Earth - The Complete Series. Expensive as hell, but well worth it, especially if you've never seen it on The Discovery Channel. The pictures they capture are crystal clear and utterly amazing. There's so much going on on this planet that most of us don't know about and all sorts of nooks and crannies we've never seen. Even if it doesn't inspire you, you might find something in it you've already toyed with. For example, the ants that die from a fungus that literally makes them crazy and then grows out of them. I had a mini-freakout when I saw that because I did something incredibly similar in my thesis - only that was before I knew about the ant thing. Knowing it was real (albeit on a much smaller scale) was a bit unnerving.

That's all I have at this time. It wouldn't surprise me in the future if I found more.

Something to keep in mind

The next time you find yourself fussing about how long it takes your favorite author to come out with a new book and then complaining when that book turns out to be crappy.

Interesting comments from Nick Stone (Mr. Clarinet, King of Swords):

"For some reason certain (though by no means all) publishers seem to think that quantity is the new quality. You know, get a new book on the shelves every year on the dot, regular as clockwork and Christmas. I understand the commercial reasoning behind it – up to a point (JK Rowling and Thomas Harris don't write a book a year - Thomas Harris never did that at all) – but, said publishers tend to forget the most important part of the equation – THE READER. You have to keep the readers happy. At all costs.

"The thing is, when you’re a writer on that book a year treadmill, you have six months to produce a book. For some writers that's just fine and they write according to those constraints and produce great work. But, for other writers, who'd maybe like to spend longer on their books, the process is hell. And it usually results in a quality “crack curve” – a quick, sharp peak (say the first two or three books), followed by a long ruinous descent (the rest). The books tend to read increasingly like tired contractual obligations, poor photocopies of a poor photocopy of a poor photocopy. The plots blur into one, the characters are empty vessels and the prose is a delivery mechanism for thrills and spills by rote. You can't fool your readers. They know when you're phoning it in. And they are ultimately your judges. They condemn you with their closed wallets and bad word of mouth.

"Publishers should remember the following maxim: if you feed your golden goose laxative you’ll just get shit."

See the full interview.


Careful what you wish for...

Seriously?

I have to admit. I am a little annoyed.

I'm in the middle of revising my thesis, and at the moment I'm in the middle of an attack on an entire planet. A planet of creatures that have no desire other than to kill and enslave and create more of themselves (as most bad creatures tend to do). This is not Ender's Game. The bad guys here are not bad through a misunderstanding. There is no failed communication. If you fight them, they will kill you. If you are a woman, they will cut out all your reproductive organs and then let you heal enough to put you in a slave camp. If you are weak, you will die. If you are strong, you will be implanted with an explosive device. If you try to leave, you will die. If you survive all that, you will be a slave until you die. There is no handful of nice creatures in this species. They engineer themselves this way on purpose because they like the violence, the power, and the destruction.

I've put this in pretty much everywhere in my book to illustrate that these things are bad. No redeeming qualities. They're smart, but they're not going to share. Everything else is inferior to them and should die or serve (and eventually die).

Now, in the finale of the whole thing, the game plan (and not created by humans or Earth) is to wipe them out. A fleet moves toward the enemy homeworld in order to do the job and in doing so, lure the enemy ships back from what they are doing at present - attacking Earth (and we are not the first, and would not be the last). And as the bombardment begins, the main character thinks, Surprise, surprise, you sons of bitches, and there is a note from one of my critique members that says, "He's really eager to destroy an entire species. That makes me sad."

*twitch*

Now I love the girl, but that mindset makes me want to tear my hair out. Why? Why is this sad? That he's pissed off and wants them to stop killing people on his planet? That he's not sorry they're all about to get what they've been dishing out to a number of planets over the years? Sad that this fleet is about to kill off a genetically modified species that is not in its original form, will never be again, and would be equivelant to allowing a pack of rabid dogs run around your house unchecked?

We killed off an entire species in Independence Day. Did anyone think that was sad? Luke Skywalker blew up a Death Star which also happened to be full of people. Who thought that was sad?

People on this planet will freak out when a bear or tiger or other animal kills a person and demand that the animal be "put down" (just a nicer way of saying "Kill the bear before it kills someone else.").

*snort*

I guess I just don't understand the mindset. Maybe I'm just different. I don't feel empathy when a suicide bomber is killed before he can blow himself up at a market and kill 50 people. I simply do not feel sorry for people who wish to deal death and destruction upon others who are merely going about their day.

No, don't worry, it's cool. The killers can just keep on killing while we sit back and watch. ¬_¬

*Thumbnail Nibble*

Many things, many things.

Crossover is finished, but still in the tweaking stage. Old news.

To keep my brain from melting into mush, I've taken on a new project. I probably shouldn't, seeing as I have 4 old manuscripts hanging out under my bed (not literally), needing major surgery. But hey.....what can I say? Besides, if I don't get this out of my brain, I might go crazy. I really, really wish pensieves were real. But it's a fun idea and I've decided to send that to my critique group rather than my thesis because I've had just about enough with that. Besides, I'd be sending the exact same thing to one out of my critique group and it doesn't do me any good to see the same things pointed out or different things that weren't pointed out earlier (which I find annoying as hell). Besides, I really wanted feedback on this new idea. I've been asking for all sorts of ideas everywhere, and for anyone who reads this blog still, here's one of the things I threw out there to the creative minds and if you want a whack at it too, go for it:

A person is in a room. The room has a swimming pool-sized depression in the center filled with puzzle pieces. The only way to leave the room is to find the one piece that matches the shape in the door. How do you find the right piece?

(NOTE: Use any method you like. Distort this scenario any way you please - do not focus on what genre this might be or what I might be looking for. The only limitation is that puzzle pieces must stay puzzle pieces, but you can change their substance - gold, glass, whatever. Use your imagination.)

Aside from all that, I think I may be slightly cursed. So far throughout this program, I've had a grand total of 2 mentors and 4 critique members. And so far I'm 50/50 on them not having something bad happen to them - mentors included. 1 person left the program, another person was hit with a nasty illness, and another person has had a few issues and now a car wreck. I'm beginning to worry for the remaining people associated with me. Besides, weird things apparently happen when I'm at residency (the power of invisiblity, developing new identities, and so forth), maybe it's sinking in around others and affecting them badly. *cue creepy music* I've wondered whether or not to warn my remaining two critique members. I think my other mentor is safe for now, being beyond the boundary lines of my evil influence.

Ah well. As always. I guess I'll go write. Never mind that it's 12:54 in the morning. Or, it being daylight savings time, technically 1:54 AM.

Whatever.


What to do, what to do?

Why Famous People Piss Me Off

...even if it's for 15 friggin' minutes.

My thoughts exactly. (except for the part about Obama's book being great - I wouldn't know, I haven't read it, and quite honestly, don't ever intend to.)

1st vs. 3rd vs. crap

I got an idea into my head a while back and couldn't shake it. Oh, I shook it long enough to finish my first draft of my thesis (wrings thesis's neck), but now that I only have this and that to revise (and I'm still missing a whole slew of critiques for various reasons and some I'm not so clear on and now I'm starting to get irritated because I want to revise and I CAN'T).

*ahem*

Ok. Back to what I was talking about. Basically, on this new book (which I really shouldn't be working on anyway, but fuck it, I am), I want parts of it to be in first person and other parts to be in third person since I want my audience to know things that are important, but still enjoy the first personness.

Actually, that's all beside the point because that isn't the problem. Not entirely anyway.

The 1st person POV is the issue. What I want is for the reader to get into it and enjoy it in the same vein as say, a Stephanie Plum book. I want it to feel immediate, fun, and with a sort of loose candor people can get behind.

Thus far, I'm sucking at it. I couldn't quite figure out why until I thought about how I was writing it and how it was coming out and where the kink was.

The kink, my friends, is in the prologue. Yes, anothe prologue. Hey, it's short and doesn't really work well as a first chapter.

The problem is that I wrote the first chapter as a sort of...semi-flashback. It ends in a way that shows the narrator already knows more than she does at the start of Chapter 1, thus making it so when Chapter 1 rolls around, it's more like a retelling of the story rather than an immediate this-is-happening-now story. No, I'm not writing it in present tense, but rather the usual past tense that has that immediate feeling. I'm reading a book right now by Hugh Laurie (yes, the actor, the guy who plays House, for those of you who watch House) and he's doing a better job than me. HUGH LAURIE.

FUCK.

Not to say that Hugh can't write, or rather, shouldn't be able to write. It's just that I know I can do this and the fact that it's coming out all wrong is pissing me off.

SO. Ok. Prologue makes the rest of the book (or at least the next several chapters of it) seem like a tale being related. It's killing the style. It's too past tense, as it were. The death of said style is ruining the emotion and such.

You know, I had all this sorted out easier into 3 reasons but rambling has ruined it, but it feels good to ramble so whatever. Let's try this:

1.) Prologue indicates narrator already knows what is going to happen, hence
2.) Subsequent chapters have already "happened" and narrator is simply retelling them hence
3.) Initial emotion of said chapters has already occurred, as have actions, thus immediacy is killed.

4...or D...or maybe one of those little subscript things.) I'm so used to writing in 3rd person by now, I think my ability to do 1st person is somewhat dimished.

I think that was them. Ish. So now I have two choices. I'll probably end up doing one of them instead of plowing ahead because this whole thing is annoying the fuck outta me.

1.) Fix the end of the prologue somehow so it doesn't give the "narrator already knows" impression
2.) Adjust the opening of the first chapter to adjust for the narrator knowing and doing a retelling (up until a certain point)

Either way I choose, I'll have to redo a lot of stuff. Still, at least I know where the problem is.


I dunno.

Ta Daaaa!

It's done.

THE END

I've finally written those words at the end of my manuscript. My first draft is completed. All 416 pages of it. Yeah. 416. Over 100,000 words. Heh, kinda funny that I finish it during NaNoWrMo (National Novel Writing Month).

Of course, now I just have to revise the crap out of it. So the page number isn't solid. But yeah, it's over the required mark by plenty and I have no worries of it remaining there. It's not hte first time I've slapped THE END at the finish of a manuscript, but it is on one this big. My last largest piece was 240 pages. It doesn't surprise me that this one was double the size of that - I knew it was going to be massive when I started it. It was a big story filled with secrets and semi-betrayal and a bit of a love story and several massive battles. Whoo!

I actually finished it the same day I got the email for the Rooney Scholarship, so it was a good day. For those of you unawares, the Rooney Scholarship was one of two scholarships I went for. This one for short stories. In the past my short stories have sucked butt, but these two I worked on, spruced up (one completely new), and sent out. And then I had an email with "Rooney Scholarship" in the subject line and I sat here and said, "I did not just win that!" Yep. $500 less that I have to pay this term. Sweet beans, eh? I'm glad. Now if only the two places I sent my stories to would reply and let me know either yay or nay... God a yay would be effing fantastic...

Good times all around. After I finished my book I went downstairs kind of lost and said, "I don't know what to do with myself now..." I'd been writing for so long I wanted a break, but the idea that I didn't have to go back and write more (at least in the sense of writing to complete the first draft) kind of boggled me. It'll be nice to work on revising while working on other fun writing projects without the pressure of draft completion hanging over me.

YAY!

Someone sees dead people

Some of you may wonder, why do I post a review of a book and then yammer on about it here? What's the difference? Well, you can't really see much of a difference in the book before this one, mostly because there's nothing extra to reveal. Here, I get to divulge everything, bitch about endings, go into details, and so forth, whereas people wouldn't be all that happy if I did it in my review. That's the difference.

On to The Everlasting. I guess I should have known better since Lebbon also wrote Berserk. What's that you ask? Most of us writers tend to have the same devices, similar characters, and elements in our books. We can't help it. It just comes naturally. Take me for example, 99% of the time there's a woman in my books that kicks ass, she's similar to her other book counterparts and they even have similar names. I probably shouldn't do that, but I can't help myself. So when Lebbon introduces the reader to Scott, a man heading toward his 50s, and interrupts things with flashbacks, yeah. Should have see it coming I guess. But you never know.

That's actually my only real problem with this book - I had a real hard time getting into Scott's character. In fact, we start off immediately with past events and memories of by-gone days. I don't ever feel properly introduced to Scott's character, and what's more, with the way he totally sobs over his wife's disapperance, I didn't have enough time or info or something to truly see how much they cherished on another. I mean, yeah, I don't doubt husband and wife love each other and whatnot, but Scott, for quite some time, just seemed to constantly break down into bouts of crying over the kidnapping of his wife.

That too, annoyed me. No, guys, I'm not saying you shouldn't be super upset when your wife goes missing, but geez, after the first few times quit crying and try to do something about it! Especially once you have a direction to go in! Get mad at least! Scott's personality felt flat to me, which is probably due to the introduction, and he never got pissed when he should have. I wanted him angry out of frustration, he should have been angry, demanding answers, God throw something why don't you? Hmph.

Aside from my disconnect with Scott, the story was interesting. We're on a quest to find and destroy an ancient book written centuries, maybe even millenia ago (well, probably not millenia because humans had to have been around to write it). The whole concept of the Wide and where you go when you die and all that jazz was cool and Lebbon did his best to explain it in terms that would boggle your mind even as you tried to imagine it. I'm still having trouble accepting the only way Scott would do anything was if Lewis kidnapped Scott's wife and did all that buuut oh well. Likewise I'm not sure why Helen would believe her kidnapper. I also don't believe that Tigre would just ignore Scott for the rest of his life. Tigre, if he really is who Nina said he was, sounds like the kind of guy that would take you out just because. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. I don't buy that he'll just accept that the book's gone and not kill Scott because of it.

Otherwise, it wasn't bad. Some good, horrific elements and creepy things going on, fit for the genre. Cool locals and Old Man was a nice addition. And, I must say, that Lebbon has finally applied my definition of immortal. I don't use that term lightly - if you're immortal and you can't die, then you can't die. None of this vampires are immortal stuff - no, vampires aren't immortal, they're just ageless. Vampires can die, easy as anyone else as long as it's done right. But not Lebbon's immortals. One gets cut in half, but she's still trying to drag herself together, then she gets shot in the head, but all the pieces start moving back to wake her up again. Now that's immortal.

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Guy on the cover obviously not immortal/everlasting...

Feel the Horror

I'm feelin' the horror.

Heh.

So ladies and gentlemen, you all want to know how my book is going?

*evil grin* Peachy.

In fact, I'm killing people left and right, putting my main character into a coma and totally fucking up their world. It's AWESOME. Yes, I've been waiting to do this for a long, long time. I only have a fe more things to cover (like, the massive battle that decides everyone's fate) and then voila! I'm finished. Grand. I'm on break now - I had to stop before my brain melted out of my ears. But I'll be back in full swing before you know it and polishing off this baby (I mean, honestly, I should be able to do that in the next 50 pages!).

Hee. *excited*

Now, on to the real reason for this post, On Writing Horror by Mort Castle. Or rather, edited I should say. Most WPF people have heard of or read this book by now. It was recommended to me by my mentor Gary Braunbeck since I said, "I need some horror in my life" (or something similiar since I was coming to that violent point in my book).

On Writing Horror is a book chock-a-block full of writing essays that include advice, tips, methods, and just general writer info. Even though I'm not writing horror, I do have horrific elements in my book, and besides, most of us know that genres tend to cross over to include bits and pieces that are typically associated with other genres (mystery + romance, romance + fantasy, etc.). Whatever your genre, this book contains plenty of goodies that work out well for any writer. I particularly love Tina Jens quote about characters and ducks (see top of blog). Well it's true isn't it?

It really is full of great stuff, and it's the kind of book that you either want to take notes on or just start photocopying favorite pages to save for later (that is, if you're like me and have no money or, more importantly, shelfspace, and have to get everything from the library). I was also really fond of Mort Castle's essay when he talks about falling into that kind of dreamy spot in order to get ideas. I practically squealed and thought, "I DO that!" Stuff like that makes me feel good because then I'm not the only person out there doing these things. Dr. McClain was right - time with like-minded companions helps. I used to do things to get ideas and always wondered, "Does anyone else ever do this?" In fact, 120 pages of my current novel came about during one of those zoney sessions. I slobbed in bed for around an hour years ago and played the entire thing out in my brain before getting up, going straight to the computer and typing all day and part of the next day (and I never do that - take my ideas straight from my brain to the keyboard. I write everything longhand so yeah...). Course, a cut a good chunk of that section because there was no possible way for it to work in the story, but who cares? I still used a good part of it. High-five to Mort Castle for making me feel not like a mutant.

Moving on, it's a book with some good resources in it as well as information that I hadn't thought of before or hadn't gotten the chance to find out previously. True, most of the resources are for horror writers, but there are some in there that work for SF and F writers as well (maybe a few Romance writers too, depending upon your tastes), mostly because people, editors and whatnot included, tend to lump H, SF, and F together. Which is fine, since we mingle a lot. I liked the piece by Scott Nicholson on promoting your book. Most of that stuff a lot of us already knew, but he goes into more detail and points out the how and a few of the where to get items and extra info.

Great stuff. And now I'm onto my last book, The Everlasting by Tim Lebbon!

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Awesome.