Alternative Ramblings

I Hate All of You.

2012-02-19T18:02:00.007-06:00

One of the many reasons I hate celebrities.

Originally found at RageComics.

Kill Your Heroes

2012-01-03T14:48:00.006-06:00

TELL ME THAT AS A WRITER THIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU SMIRK.

Pimp This Novel

2012-01-01T21:14:00.005-06:00

Righto. I haven't read this yet, but that's only because I *just* saw it on a V-cart yesterday at work. I was on my way out to go clock out and go home, and walked past in the back room, glanced down because the vivid colors in the cover caught my eye, and literally let out a gasp that would leave other people to think (if anyone else had been in the room) that I'd seen a mouse or something. But how can one not get excited when seeing a book by someone they know? That's right, I know the author. Remember that place I keep talking about? Seton Hill University? The author was in her second year there. She wasn't Sabrina Benulis then (so I supposed she'd gotten herself hitched in the meantime), but I'd been stalking certain writers from the program and she's the first one to land herself on the shelves where I can get all stupid and grab it the day it comes out and skip home with it.

I went to her reading (we all had to do a reading from our book as a part of our graduation assignment - and I've got to add that my reading was SO much freaking fun to do) and had a great time. That's how I know this book should be a good time too. The part I remember the most (as this was back in 2007 I think) was the battle. The violent battle. With some mean metal weapons. I remember making a mental note of certain things - "Be sure to use words like 'gristle' and 'sinew' in the future."

So yes, to get back on point, I'm totally pimping her book. Go check it out. If you like the whole angels battling, humanity's souls hanging in the balance, wtf happened to God? kind of stuff, then it's time you jumped on the Archon wagon. I, for one, look forward to where it takes me.

OH! And P.S. - Tell me that cover isn't absolutely gorgeous. Some authors get the shaft when it comes to covers, but it looks to me like Sabrina got to have her cake and eat it too. Awesome.

Join the Mount TBR Reading Challenge!

2011-12-01T00:11:00.001-06:00

Do you own a lot of books? As in, over 25 at least? How many of them have you read? Do you like to stroll into a bookstore and sample all their goodies and then end up walking out with a nice fat bag full of 'em? Or do you get a bunch of them at gifts because, hey, that's what you asked for, right?

So many books, so little time. So My Reader's Block is hosting a cool challenge. It's the Mount TBR Reading Challenge! Time to tackle that To Be Read pile like nobody's business! So skip the library, leave out the ARCs, and focus solely on your massive stack of books for the year 2012. (After all, you bought them for a reason, right? And besides, might as well read them since the world is going to end next year. Don't want to be sitting in the afterlife thinking, "Dang it! I never got to read Jurassic Park like I planned! Now I'll never know if it was better than the movie.")

Head on over to the blog to see about signing up. Will I? I would love to - except my actual reading pile is about 9 books high. So instead, because I like this idea so much, I'm applying it to my TBR list. I have about 50 books on that list. I don't buy a ton of books because I just don't have the money to blow on them. But it seems to take me forever to go back and tackle a book I wrote down - even though I wrote it down because I obviously wanted to read it at some point. So while the rest of you read through your pile of books, I'll be crossing off titles from my list. So, Mt. Kilimanjaro, here I come!

Just Because October is Over...

2011-11-02T09:19:00.005-05:00

...that doesn't mean you can't still have some thrills and chills! If you're in the New York area this upcoming July and love to read thrillers, write them, or just think some of the following authors kick ass, you might want to consider checking out ThrillerFest!

At the Grand Hyatt you'll stroll in and encounter all things thrilling. That includes an amazing panel of authors such as:

Jack Higgins
R.L. Stine
Lee Child
John Sandford
Catherine Coulter
Ann Rule
Richard North Patterson
Karin Slaughter

You can't tell me you haven't heard of at least one of those names! Cripes, I'm not even a thriller writer but if I had the money, I'd go! (I read sooooo many Fear Street books as a teen, it's ridiculous - so I'd head to R.L. Stine first!)

*gasp!* But there's more.

Agents, awards, and all sorts of goodies are ready to entertain, educate, and perhaps even get you published!

So if that sounds just as awesome to you as it does to me, head on over to the site and sign up for some thrilling good times!

THRILLERFEST 2011 Promo:

Attention Spans - Ooh, Sparkly...

2011-09-21T23:33:00.003-05:00

I managed to click the "Send" button in my email at the right time to be entered into Miss Snark's Secret Agent contest. Amidst all the YA and MG work, I'm one of the few adult pieces in the mix (is everyone writing for YA/MG these days, or is it just me?).

Naturally, my entry is being commented on. The comments are mixed, most of them leaning towards not too jazzed. But there are two things I've made note of:

1.) The 250 words I submitted are actually different from my original 250 words. I thought I was making an improvement, but looking back, perhaps not. Hard to say because overall, it's the same scene, just different words.

2.) Along that same vein, the thing people take issue with the most is the hook and the slow start.

Now, no doubt, hooking a reader from the first sentence is important. After all, there's nothing more frustrating than having a tug on the line only to discover the fish is long gone (and with your bait too, dangit). Some people talked about how there was no action, no fantasy element, no conflict. I'm fine with the criticism - that's not what this post is about. Rather, it got me thinking about our attention spans these days.

Did you know the average time we get of one camera angle in a movie is about 30 seconds? Sure, we may be in the same scene for 15 minutes, but we'll see that scene a bunch of different ways, cut back and forth, and however else they want to splice it up. In 250 words, people expect action. They expect...I don't know. 30 second cuts of actionadventuresexcarcrashesblahblahblahoohshiny! The book has just begun, but some shit needs to go down.

I'm not saying I don't like when wild and crazy stuff happens on page one. I'm all for jumping in feet first and seeing where the current takes me. Plenty of books do that, and they do it well. But there are many others out there that need just a few extra seconds to set the stage. To prep readers for what is to come. Are we too impatient to allow for these extra seconds? A second paragraph instead of just one? Is it safe to assume you know where the author intends to go right on page one? I also don't intend to imply that you should force yourself to read a book that doesn't work for you. No one should wade through something that they don't like.

I've started up a little agreement with myself. I have so many books to read these days that if I don't like a book by the 100th page, I'll put it down. I hate not finishing things I start, but I just don't have time to slug through a book that isn't engaging me in any way. However, I haven't had to do this just yet.

But for some books, are there times when people have been a little too ADD? How about you, reader folk - what books have you read that take their time starting out before they really get rolling? Or are you all about the NOW factor?

Revising...some more

2011-09-17T19:54:00.004-05:00

When I was about 14ish, I started writing my first book. I finished it sometime in high school. The story, I think, it still solid and a lot of fun. But when I looked at it (as I'm now 27 and have a Bachelor's in English and MA in Writing Popular Fiction), I realized just how AWFUL the writing is. Hence, it's revising time. Personally, I hate revising, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, ya know?

As I go through the manuscript, I've noticed other things as well. I feel it may be fun to share them with you.

On insults thrown by bad guys and good guys:
Teen self: ...I don't really like these. Oh well.
Current self: ...I don't really like these. *Google*

On battle plans:
Teen self: This is awesome!
Current self: Wtf? This doesn't make any sense!

On numbers:
Teen self: This is will be a big battle.
Current self: Huh. I thought it was smaller than that.

On POV:
Teen self: Now readers can see what everyone is doing!
Current self: What the hell is going on?

On certain descriptions:
Teen self: La la la la....
Current self: I kinda wish I was George R.R. Martin for the clothes. And what the hell side of the planet does the sun rise on?

On genre:
Teen self: This will be adult fantasy, but I'll write it so everyone can read it!
Current self: ...Is this supposed to be teen fantasy? Hmm. This needs more violence.

On names:
Teen self: I'll call that group XX. And I hate that guy's name, but I'll deal with it for now.
Current self: Ohmy...that is so cliche. I'll call that group YY. There. That's more badass. And I still hate that guy's name, but I still don't know what to change it to.

On my dragon:
Teen self: I love my dragon.
Current self: I love my dragon.

On killing your darlings:
Teen self: What's that mean?
Current self: Oh good. I totally do that.

Canon, Classics, and the Love/Hate We Bear Them

2011-08-25T12:11:00.003-05:00

There's a fantastic string of comments going on over at Nathan Bransford's blog about classics and canon, and which books should be removed from the invisible list - if any.

Certain books seem to be getting more hate (and I use that term loosely) than others. Moby Dick and The Scarlett Letter seem to be racking up the most points. there's a part of me that actually wants to scroll through that list and tally up the number of people remarking on various books and plays. Some have included the entire work of an author; "anything by James Joyce" or "everything by Hemmingway."

Naturally, there are plenty of people who love what other people hate. Some have mentioned Orwell, and while I've only ever read 1984, I enjoyed it, so there's a chance I'd enjoy a few of his other works. As I continued to read, I started to think about which books were squeaking out of the discussion to remain safe. Like The Great Gatsby. Yet sure enough, eventually someone mentioned how it needed to go.

Then I saw a comment by David Elzey, "[...]perhaps one of the problems with the canon is that we get these books before we're ready for them?" I think he's got an excellent point.

Many of the posters, myself included, wrote about the books we disliked in past tense. Past tense as in "read it in high school." There may be some college references, and perhaps even a few people who finished a classic last month, but I think most of us never would have touched a lot of these books had it not been for high school. The issue is that when you're in high school, you're just not all that interested in what a bunch of dead people wrote. Unless you loved books (like myself) or were one of those good students who were willing to make an effort, you were too busy doing other, more interesting high school things. Jane Eyre isn't interesting until the crazy wife appears in the story. Great Expectations will make you want to hang yourself until Ms. Havisham sets herself on fire. Things like that. I'd like to take a poll and see how many of those posters were in high school when they read the books they claim to have hated.

My book? Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison. I didn't understand what Ellison was aiming for, and I mildly resented being forced to read it because I was pretty sure my teacher was trying to make some sort of racial statement that I also didn't understand. If anything, I figured if she wanted to do that, why couldn't she pick a book that at least made more sense? But again, as I think back now, I wonder - did I not understand Invisible Man because I was in high school? Would it make more sense now? I don't think I'll ever answer these questions because, to be blunt, I'm not going to attempt reading that book again.

But back to Mr. Elzey's statement. How many of us read more classics now than in school? Or at the very least, are more interested, whether or not we actually act out on our thoughts? I know I am. I read a slew of classics in high school, but not because I wanted to. I read more in college, but even though they were assigned, I was an English major and was already more interested. I read SF classics in graduate school, but I got to choose the books (and that's where Frankenstein and 1984 came into the picture), and I enjoyed them a lot more becuase I was the one making the choices. These were the books I at least wanted to read, even if perhaps I might not enjoy them as I read.

With school over completely, I have an extremely varied reading list, and it includes classics. In fact, when B&N had their Buy 2, Get 1 sale on their classics, I went buck wild. I never used to own any classics or books that fall into the wild canon spectrum. Now I have 18. That includes giant collections of H.G. Wells, William Shakespeare, and Edgar Allen Poe. I still have a few titles in my long list of books to read, and still others that I'm curious about.

People don't like to be forced to do anything, plain and simple. While I'm not for throwing out the classics list, the books considered canon, or no longer making high school students read, I think a lot of these books just aren't meant for that age group, which may play a large part in why people end up hating them. After all, I don't think Melville wrote Moby Dick for a 16-year-old high school student. Most high schoolers are nowhere near the target audience for these books, and other things are not universal like so many others believe (Shakespeare is one of them).

But it is nice to see certain other books are getting onto the required reading list. They're not always going to become favorites with everyone, but hey, that's the world of books for ya!

Want to Win Some Stuff?

2011-07-16T14:21:00.003-05:00

Then head on over to My Writers Craze and throw your hat into the ring. There are some awesome prizes waiting there! Deadline is July 25th.

Agents Get Rejected Too

2011-06-27T21:28:00.002-05:00

We all know that once an agent takes on a client, their next job is to convince and editor how awesome the book is. We also know that obviously every editor/publisher isn't going to say yes.

But I have now seen a form rejection to an agent from a publisher.

I have to say, it was weird. I suppose I should know better, this late into the game, but for some reason I assumed that because there are fewer agents out there sending stuff to publishers that they would get actual responses. I assumed editors would send back replies saying no thanks, maybe not in great detail, but done themselves nonetheless. I don't really know why I thought such a thing, but I did. It was really strange to see though. A printed form letter with the title of a book scribbled in by someone. And it sounded almost exactly like what most of us see from agents. The usual, "Sorry we can't repsond personally, but we get so many submissions it is impossible. Sorry this book doesn't work for us, and we hope you find success elsewhere. We know someone else will probably love it." That sort of thing.

So now I know. Agents get form rejected just like the rest of us. And it probably sucks. The book they've fallen in love with yet again put back down by another editor. So even though many of us fuss and lament about getting rejected (and I'm not saying we shouldn't because rejection sucks no matter who you are), it's good to be reminded once and a while that agents get rejected too and it probably bums them out just as much.

My First Guest Blogger!

2011-06-13T20:25:00.003-05:00

Today you get a bit of a treat - a post from Debra Webb, published author and my very first guest blogger! And at the end of the post, you're in for an extra treat!

A little bit about Debra Webb:
Born in Alabama, she wrote her first story at age nine and her first romance at thirteen. It wasn’t until she spent three years working for the military behind the Iron Curtain—and a five-year stint with NASA—that she realized her true calling. A collision course between suspense and romance was set. Since then she has penned nearly 100 novels. Visit her at http://www.debrawebb.com/.

CHANGE

Growing up I always heard folks say, “things change, people change.” As I grew older I realized this was very true. I saw firsthand how people changed with age and experience. People and things changed with the rise and fall of the economy and, most noticeably, with the welcome of or farewell to a loved one. Simply put, life changes people. When people change stuff around them changes.

Looking back on my life thus far I have to say that there were several defining moments that led to change and brought me to the place where I am today. Getting married. The birth of our first child and experiencing the reality of overwhelming physical challenges for her. Agonizing over all the decisions related to surgeries and treatment. Searching for hope and instead finding a single cold, hard fact. I still remember that particular day vividly. Standing in the cool, sterile exam room and having the specialist look me in the eye and say, “You’re looking for a miracle and you’re not going to find it.” My firstborn child was two years old. I was twenty. It was one of the hardest days of my life, but the doctor was right. I was looking for a miracle and I was not going to find it. That moment changed me in ways that I still cannot adequately articulate. But I knew I had to move forward and be thankful for what was. My daughter’s happiness depended a great deal on mine. So, that day, I began anew. I taught my little girl that she could be anything, could do anything that she wanted. Her journey might not be the same as other little girls, but she could make the trip. And she did.

She is a beautiful young woman now, with a loving husband. Years after my first child was born, my younger daughter came along, another life-altering moment. She is precious beyond words and has brought much joy to all of us, including her big sister. There were others moments, like the loss of my parents, far sooner than I was ready. The day I received “the” call and sold my first book. Then, last summer, the injury that changed my life forever by stealing most of the use of my right arm and hand. Yes, indeed, things change, people change.

Change is rarely easy, but it isn’t necessarily an enemy. Sometimes it brings joy and prosperity. Whatever it brings, it is the way in which you respond that determines the rest of your journey. Like most, I at first responded to this latest change with immense grief and deep depression. After all, I’m a writer, I need my right hand. I’m a mother; I wanted to help my youngest get ready for her upcoming wedding. I wanted to braid my granddaughter’s hair and teach my grandson how to properly bait a hook. Not that I have grandchildren yet, but I will. I am a wife; I wanted to do all the wonderful things my husband and I love to do together—like renovating old houses. When I was sure I just couldn’t get through those dark days, my family rallied around me and helped me to see that I could still do plenty. I won’t be able to style my daughter’s hair or zip her dress the day of her wedding, but I’ll be there watching over every step. Rather than braiding my granddaughter’s hair, I’ll be content to brush it. Rather than bait my grandson’s hook, I’ll be happy showing him how to hold the fishing pole. My husband and I have learned to enjoy other activities together. The hours of therapy every day have brought us closer. He carefully exercises my fingers and my hand three times per day to keep the muscles from wasting further and becoming like rock. He works tirelessly, giving the same attention and passion to that need as he would if he were making love to me. He is my hero!

Because I couldn’t work as I had before, couldn’t get out and network or promote, I spent a lot of time reflecting on my career. I took a long hard look at my mortality and considered what I really wanted to do versus what I could do after this major change. What I could do was take charge of my career in a wholly exciting and terrifying way. I started my own publishing company, Pink House Press (more on that in a moment), and I self-published a novel that had been living in my heart for several years. When I wrote the first Jackie Mercer novel the editors loved it but the marketing folks couldn’t figure out where she fit. This was before Desperate Housewives, Cougar Town, Body of Proof, etcetera, which feature women moving into their forties (some well past) and still being vital and SEXY. Yes, sexy and sexually active!

Jackie Mercer is 45, divorced, with a son in law school and she still loves her mini-skirts and high heels. Menopause is looming and she has stretch marks that seem to be widening rather than diminishing. She’s a real woman with real problems and I love her! Oh yes, and there’s Derrick Dawson—a sexy as sin, hotter than Alabama asphalt in August younger man! I love Jackie and her debut novel DIRTY and I hope you will too! I chose the name Pink House Press because I grew up in a pink house. My parents were farmers so we didn’t have much but my mother was a vibrant woman full of hopes and dreams. She painted that old farmhouse pink and taught me the same lesson I taught my daughters: you can be anything, do anything. When I was eleven I had been hand writing stories for years so my mother bought me an old manual typewriter. We really couldn’t afford it but she got it secondhand and thought it was worth the splurge. In honor of her and that old pink house I had to go with Pink House Press!

Yes, change is hard sometimes. But I decided not to lie down and give up. Instead, I kicked some butt and did it my way!

----------------

If you feel like reading a bit of sexy fun, Debra's also giving away a digital copy of DIRTY and a copy of her new Colby trilogy (Missing, Damaged, and Broken). Leave a comment and include an email address where I can reach you if you win as well as which you want - DIRTY or the Colby trilogy (or both!). Get an extra entry by letting me know if you Tweeted this post, chucked it onto Facebook, posted it on your blog, or otherwise let the world know about it! I'll announce the winners on the 21st, so stay tuned!

Why Authors Should Be Involved

2011-05-28T19:57:00.004-05:00

I always knew that authors don't often get a say when it comes to their book covers. That's pretty much a fact of life. And anyone who's ever read a book will eventually stumble upon one that has a cover that is in no way related to the book. When I see those, I often wonder how that happens. Was the illustrator told nothing about the book? Does someone tell them what to draw? Do they read the book or gloss over it and then come up with something on their own? The cover illustration process is not something I'm familiar with. But I've also never bothered because, again, what does it matter if I get no say in the matter?

However, what I didn't know about until today was "whitewashing." I suppose I should have - I remember actually reacting to the cover of Maurice Broaddus's King Maker, thinking, "Holy cow, a black guy on the cover of a fantasy book!" But overall, I didn't. Whitewashing, for those of you who don't know (like myself five minutes ago), is when the main character(s) of a book are decidedly NOT white, and yet the cover features said character(s) with white representations. I first read about it at Calico Reaction's journal and then headed over to The Book Smugglers for more info.

My initial thought was, "Seriously? Are we really still doing this?" The racism thing, I mean. Because let's face it - it is racism. In a really lame way. The claim the publishers make is that when there are people of color on the covers, the books simply don't sell as well. Frankly, I'd like to see the hard data on this. Then again, it's going to be kind of tricky to get a decent amount of data since there's such a small percentage of covers that feature non-white characters.

Though we're not supposed to judge books by their covers, the simple fact is that we still do. The cover is what first catches our eye. But does it really matter if there's a brown-skinned girl on the cover vs. a white-skinned girl? Yes, I think it does. But not in the way the publishers are thinking. If I open up a book and I'm reading along, I'm going to notice that, hey, this character is actually supposed to be Japanese - what's with the blond chick on the cover? Or with the example on The Book Sugglers blog of Esther Friesner’s Sphinx’s Princess, the girl is supposed to be - duh - Egyptian. To me, those look like major mistakes. It makes the publisher look stupid in my eyes. In my mind, I think, "Way to not pay attention to the book, guys." Incorrect covers always look stupid. And now that I'm aware of this issue, I shake my head and still can't believe the blatant ignorance of the publishers - especially when readers freak out enough to actually force the publishers to release a corrected cover. Shouldn't that be some sort of wake-up call to them that a great many people are over such issues? That we just want good books and we don't need our intelligence insulted?

As mentioned on The Book Smugglers, the other claim is that white readers won't be able to relate to the books if there are people of color on the covers. Soooo....it's okay to slap a white person on the cover even when I'm going to read the book, the author will let me know the main character has brown skin and dark hair? If that's the case, shouldn't that mean I'll suddenly not be able to relate and I'll put the book down anyway? Hmm. Nevermind the simple fact that technically I can't relate to living on a spaceship, hooking up with a shape-shifter, being chased by demons, or traveling through time. If you're going to be racist, shouldn't you at least be racist in a more logical manner (if such a thing exists)? Everything from fantasty to SF to half the romance genres out there have situations that are so far from relatable, it's ridiculous. Yet we read them because why? They're interesting, fun, and we suspend our disbelief. That's the whole point of reading. Anyone read John Scalzi's Old Man's War? Excellent book - and the main protagonist was green.

"So Nicole, are you saying covers don't influence you at all?" Oh no, don't get me wrong, they can and sometimes do lure me in or turn me off. But not because of someone's skin color. That's old, old news (at least, I think it should be). I tend to roll my eyes and wonder when people are going to get over it. Sure, I'm not going to go out and buy books by, say, Kiki Swinson, but it's has nothing to do with the cover - I'm just not a reader of the urban fiction genre and I'm not the target demographic anyway. Even if the characters in urban fiction were white, I still wouldn't be into it. And the same can be said for horror and religious fiction. I've sampled, but I just can't get into it. What covers do turn me off? Fantasy and SF covers that look like they're still being churned out of the 70s and 80s (sorry Mercedes Lackey, but I'm just not diggin' it - but I know it's not your fault).

But that's getting off topic. I'd like to think that publishers would get over their stupidity when it comes to this particular topic and just create covers that make sense. A few outcries have already changed things, as has time, so here's hoping that they'll realize all we want are covers that look good with great stories inside of them. And for heaven's sakes, let the authors have just a little bit more input when it comes to the covers - especially when they see that their character(s) look nothing like the do in the book.

Adventures in Querying

2011-04-29T12:22:00.005-05:00

I realize this makes me look like an idiot, what with my last post and all, but it's just another one of those things that's bound to happen once and a while.

I now know why rocket scientists are prone to screwing up. When a rocket goes into space and something goes wrong, people always wonder how that's possible. After all, with all those smart people working at NASA, how can you screw up something like forget to put on the last heat-resisting panel?

It's all about attention to detail. I know, that sounds a little backwards, but it's true. See, you're focusing so much on everything else - getting the agent's address right, spelling their name correctly, making sure your query letter is formatted right, and in my case, making sure that the envelopes are right-side up this time - that other things you normally don't screw up on get neglected. And then you screw up on them. That scientist at NASA was working so hard on the other 99 panels, he forgot the last one. It happens.

So what did I do this time? I forgot to put a stamp on my SASE, thus effectively making it a SAE. There I was, making sure my margins were correct on my manuscript sample, ensuring things were spelled right, numbers were correct, I had the right number of pages, I signed my query letter at the bottom, etc. etc. then I shoved it all in the envelope, made sure the SASE (or at the time, SAE) fit well, licked the adhesive, and carefully folded it over and firmly pressed down. I flipped it over and looked up one last time at the submissions guidelines.

The word "postage" caught my eye and in that brief moment, the image of my SASE flashed in my mind - minus postage. After a giant mental "O M G, W T F," I oh-so-carefully opened the letter again, snuck a stamp onto my SASE, and quickly licked and re-sealed the envelope. Luckily it worked out well and I didn't ruin the first envelope too much with tearing or lack of stickiness the second time around. I really, really didn't want to be stuck using tape (the envelope was already stamped, so I didn't want to ditch it, but tape just looks....bad). I hoped it would stay stuck until the morning.

The story ends happily ever after (at least, for all I know), because I sent out the letter today and it was still holding together. I just hope it can make it all the way to New York without getting trashed.

Why can I not get my snail mail query letters right??

Your SASE Is Wrong

2011-04-16T23:11:00.004-05:00

Today while querying an agency via snail mail, I prepared my SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope for those of you who have only done e-queries). Normally I print them—the regular envelope and then the SASE. But my printer was semi-inkless, and having half-printed addresses on there isn’t exactly professional—or smart as the post office might lose them due to part of the address being illegible.

So I carefully wrote out my address and the agency’s address in nice, printed pen. I got my query together, popped it into the first envelope, and then started to put in the SASE. Then I realized something—the addresses were upside-down. Sure, they look fine on the front, but when you turn the envelope over you realize the opening is facing down.

Hmm.

I debated for a bit. It’s an honest mistake, and anyone has likely done this before. Most of the time we think, “Whatever” and send it out anyway. I mean, Aunt Em isn’t really going to care, is she? She’ll just be happy to get a letter from you. Or your best friend will just laugh at you when she gets it and then open it up and think nothing more of it.

But…an agent?

I’m running out of envelopes so it annoyed me that I’d pretty much wasted one. Was I going to shove an upside-down SASE in with my query? Okay, sure, there’s a darn good chance the agent wouldn’t care at all. They might think I hadn’t noticed my goof, or just think, “Big deal” and get on with life like Aunt Em and the best friend.

And yet, I didn’t shove it in there. No way. To me, it just smacks of being unprofessional…or just plain incompetent. Like having a typo on your first few pages (which I discovered I had a while ago—well after sending out a handful of samples to agents. Yes, by the way, I’d read it, I had three people read it, I read it again, and it still got missed). I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. It’s an honest mistake, but I want to make the right impression the first time. I’m not sure which agent might spot that and wonder about the person on the other end. It does seem kind of judgmental in a way, but I refuse to take any risks with agents.

So I got a new envelope, double-checked it, and wrote a new SASE and put it in. I’d wasted an envelope (well, maybe I’ll find some use for it…), but hey, at least now I don’t look like a goof to the agent I queried.

What would you do? Use the upside-down envelope or say, “No way José” and grab a new one like I did?

In Case You Didn't Hear About Dorchester

2011-03-25T20:00:00.006-05:00

In case you haven't heard about Dorchester/Leisure Publishing, there's a movement to boycott them. Why? They're screwing everyone over. Big time.

Brian Keene has it all down.

Mary SanGiovanni is following suit.

If you don't have time to read either of those, here's the short version of what's been happening in the world of Dorchester.

Many of you may have heard a while back that they decided to (abruptly) go all-digital. Then they backtracked and said they'd still put out trades along with the ebooks. Weird, but okay. But then authors weren't getting their royalty checks. Strange things were happening in the company. All sorts of garbled information started coming out of them. Many of their authors haven't been paid since 2009. That's right. Dorchester is essentially in the toilet, but the books are still selling, and authors haven't gotten any of their royalty money since 2009.

Some authors, Keene included, decided to ditch Dorchester and save themselves a lot of waiting and misery and requested the rights be returned to them and Dorchester could keep the money they owed. Dorchester reneged. The books are still being sold on Kindle, Sony, and so forth, but the authors are the legal owners of the rights so these sales are illegal and authors aren't getting paid for them. Other authors have requested the rights be returned to them, but Dorchester is basically saying no and continue to sell the books - and they're still not paying anyone.

So the word on the street is to boycott Dorchester/Leisure publishing (obviously not going to hurt the authors if they're not getting paid anyway!) in every way possible. Shut down your affiliations with them in every capacity; Twitter, Facebook, get off their email lists and off their memberships, and if you've been considering making a deal of any kind with Dorchester/Leisure Publishing - run in the opposite direction.

Most importantly of all, don't buy their books. Remember, it may not just say "Dorchester" on the book/ebook. It may say "Leisure Publishing" as well, but remember they're one and the same. Even if it's cheap: DON'T BUY IT. If you have friends, tell them. Make a post on your blog, spread the word any way you can. This isn't right. If you're a reader it should make you mad. If you're a writer, it should make you freaking furious.

My mentor from Seton Hill - Gary Braunbeck - had a lot of his books with Dorchester, and I'm worried that he's stuck in this awful mire and have since emailed him to find out. So go - spread the word!

The Magic of the Bookstore

2011-03-16T20:14:00.004-05:00

Not really a writing post, but I was at Nathan Bransford's blog and found a little something that made me want to rave a bit.

Originally posted here, but I found it re-posted here (where I found it). Now I'm putting it up, but with my own Barnes & Noble twist to it (as in, comments). My comments to the original are in white.

How NOT to Shop in an Independent Bookstore
by Joe Neri

You would think that browsing a bookstore is pretty easy. Walk in the door, find the books that interest you, and browse. You might be surprised, however, at what Kris and I encounter when we open the doors for business each day.

Based on our real experiences, here are some suggestions for how NOT to shop at an independent bookstore:

Let’s face it. Most of this applies to ANY bookstore. A lot of it should be common sense if not common courtesy. Granted, some of these are definitely worse when it’s an independent bookstore, but try not to be a jackass wherever you happen to go, okay?

1. Don’t tell us how much you’re going to miss Borders.

I work at a Barnes & Noble, but I still like visiting the Borders 20 minutes away from time to time because it’s a nice change. Joe’s right – don’t be babbling about bigger stores while in an independent store. I’m one of the few that will sympathize with you since I work at a big store, but be more sensitive around the little guys.

2. Don’t tell us that you just got a Kindle for your birthday.

Don’t tell US you got a Kindle either. Or, if you do, don’t ask us if you can download B&N books on it because you can’t and you should know this. Oh, and don’t ask us how to work your Kindle either because we sell Nooks, not Kindles. Don’t ask us how to use your Pandigital or your Sony ereaders either because we don’t know. We’re not paid to show you how to use devices we don’t make or sell. Call the tech support for them like you’re supposed to. Would you go to a Verizon store and ask them how to work an AT&T phone? I rest my case.

3. Don’t only look for books by James Patterson and Danielle Steele. Believe it or not there are literally thousands of good authors, encompassing all genres, who actually write the books with their names on the covers.

There are, though they may be a teensy bit harder to find at us big chain stores than the local independent bookstore down the way. But if you can’t find what you want, for heaven sakes ask because we may be able to order it for you. If not, then don’t be mad because remember – you’re in a big retail store. Unlike what you may think, we actually aren’t able to physically carry every book in existence. Why don’t you go help out the independent bookstore instead?

4. Don’t ask for paper and pen to write down the titles and authors of wonderful books you discovered by browsing in our bookstore, with the intention of buying them online. Especially don’t use our high quality (i.e., expensive) business cards and/or bookmarks to do so.

I support this for the independent guys. If you do it in B&N, I’ll likely never know and probably won’t care as long as you don’t point it out because let’s face it – that’s just annoying. When people say things like, “Well, I guess I’ll just have to get it on Amazon” loud enough for us to hear (on purpose) then it’s not cool for the simple fact that you’re acting like it’s our fault the book isn’t in stock. But we do have scrap paper so you can make as many notes as you want.

5. If you must do #4 above, please don’t steal our pens.

Dear sweet heavens, REALLY. You think just because we’re a big bookstore that we have some magical endless line of pens? I think people must stroll by and take them because one day we have a full box of pens and the next week I’m looking through drawers and behind the computers for one stupid pen. I don’t care if you borrow the pen but PLEASE bring it back. That costs money in the long run, and that costs payroll, and that means in some time down the road you may get some crap customer service because, guess what? There’s fewer employees around to help you find the book you want. You know, the one you wrote down WITH OUR PENS.

6. Don’t use your cell phone’s internet connection to check online availability and pricing for books you find here.

Yeah, that’s pretty rude for the independent guys. And anyway, why didn’t you do your research before going out? And you should know (or geez, at least guestimate) how much the independent store might charge. And you know what? In case you haven’t heard by now, 9 out of 10 times, online prices are cheaper. Yes, even at B&N. And no, we don’t price match our own online price. Neither does Walmart so get over it. If you’re willing to wait for shipping just to get a cheaper price, why are you even out at a bookstore?

7. In fact, don’t use your cell phone at all while browsing in our bookstore. Your need to be “connected” at all times doesn’t quite fit in with the ambiance we’re going for (why do people think they have to shout into cell phones?)

I support this. Independent bookstores are cozy, quiet, and a place to snuggle up to good books. B&N is like that too, but since our customer base is wider, people are going to use their cell phones. I don’t care, but I do care if you’re shouting. That’s a valid question up there. Why are you shouting? I think perhaps you need a better phone. And please, please, please don’t ask me to help you when you’re on the phone and only giving me 10% of your attention. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve already found a customer’s book and had to wait another 5 minutes just to let them know while in the meantime, other customers are waiting for help.

And while we’re on the topic of cell phones, I really, REALLY do NOT like it when people hand me their cell phones to talk to their sister/brother/father/cousin/roommate about the book he/she/they are looking for. I don’t know what virus is hanging out on your mouthpiece, okay? Get the information beforehand and just to be sure, write it down. And you know what? Ask them to double check their information because I’d have to say 6 out of 10 times, they don’t know what the heck they’re talking about either.

One more thing. Get off your cell phone before checking out or you might lose out on something. Why? Because half the time people don’t pay attention. So if you have a member card and fail to give it to me for your hardcover book, guess what, you just lost out on a 20% discount. Need a gift receipt? You don’t realize it until you get home. Have a coupon that expires that day? Too bad for you. Buy two books from the buy two, get the third free table? No free book for you. Hang it up already.

8. Don’t ask us to research a book, of which you don’t know the full title or the proper spelling of the author’s name, taking up half of our counter space with your notes on scraps of paper, and preventing other customers from getting service, if you don’t intend to buy the book from us.

True enough. Independent bookstores are not libraries. Neither are we. Most of the time, yes, I will bust my ass for you to find the book because there’s a big chance you’ll buy it from the store or order it either right there or online later. If you’re not buying it from the independent store you’re in, then you’re not worth their time. But for us, since most of the time you will end up with the book as you walk out the door (or at least with it on order), we try. Personally, I like the challenge and I’m damn good at figuring it out, though I must say on busy days or times when a line starts to form at the customer service desk, I really wish you had your stuff together so that I would spend 10-20 minutes trying different titles and author spellings for you.

Here’s a tip for beforehand research – find an ISBN number. An ISBN number is a 10 or 13 digit number that’s attached to the book. Either one is fine. Those numbers are like a book’s fingerprint and allows us to find the *exact* book you’re looking for the first time, every time.

9. Ditto for phone requests. If you can’t find it yourself on Amazon, don’t ask us to help you.

I am much more willing to help spend the time with you if you’re driven all the way to the store than if you just call on the phone. Why are you calling me when you know nothing about what you want? What do you expect me to do for you? This is especially true if you have a computer. Why don’t you use the dang thing because guess what? That’s exactly what I’m going to end up doing anyway when I can’t find what you want in our database. If you’re ill, stuck at home and infirm, or are without internet, then that’s different.

10. Don’t pretend to browse when all you really want is to use our restroom. Just ask – we won’t refuse your request to answer nature’s call. Just don’t take any of our books in there with you (the “George Castanza” syndrome).

Haha, oh George. We don’t have to worry about this since we’re a big store people know our bathrooms are pretty much there for them whether they’re going to buy a book or not. Generally I think most people who use our restrooms are perusing the store. We also prefer you don’t take the books in there with you – that’s why we put a little table outside the restrooms for you to place your books before heading on in there.

That said, just because our restrooms are public, that does NOT mean you get to be a freak in them. I don’t understand what it is about public restrooms that let people think it’s okay to be totally gross and/or not clean up after themselves, even something so small as flushing the freaking toilet. What is WRONG with you? Do you act this way at your house? I’d hate to visit then, yuck.

11. Don’t take books from our shelves and randomly scatter them around the bookstore. Unlike the large chain stores, our talent is our knowledge of books, not our need to pick up after you.

I take offense to this. My talent is NOT cleaning up after you. My talent is my knowledge of books and putting them right in your hands if at all possible. Just because I work part time at a Barnes & Noble does not mean I’m just some stupid girl who half-asses it her job.

I’d also like to add that most of us hate it when you pull every single cake cookbook off the shelf and leave it in a huge Sears tower pile. Or magazines. Especially magazines. Let me paint a scenario for those of you who think, “Well, it’s your job to clean the store, isn’t it?” Yes, it is, but that doesn’t mean you get to be a slob. Chew on this for a moment (and this is a real story, mind you, and happens more than you know).

When you put a book back where it’s not supposed to go, or if you grab a dozen magazines and leave them in a pile, there’s a good chance that the next person looking for said book or one of those magazines won’t find it. I had a woman call once looking for a book. Was it where it was supposed to be? No. I checked the back room. I checked nearby sections. Finally I was out of options and told her I couldn’t find it. Two days later, I discovered it. It was a book for teachers. I found it in the teen religious section.

A co-worker had a customer looking for a magazine. They searched virtually the entire newsstand section for one of the few copies left (oh, and by the way, stop damanging our magazines because then we have no choice but to recycle them and there’s no way to take them out of the system. If it says we have three and all three are damaged, there is no way for us to know this). They couldn’t find the magazine and we can’t even order magazines in so the gentleman left. About five minutes later my co-worker was cleaning up a massive pile of magazines in the floor and guess what she found? The one the customer was looking for.

Now I want you to think about when you can’t find a book. What if it’s in one of those gargantuan piles people have sitting next to them and then leave behind later? Do you do that? Maybe you should stop. I’m not above putting books away for you – bring them up to the desk and just let me know you aren’t sure where it ought to go. It happens. But if you’re pulling truckloads of books off shelves all at once, I don’t feel as sorry for you because, let’s face it, it’s hard to miss an entire shelf worth of cake cookbooks, and none of us likes you when you just leave it on the table for us as well as for the next customer who wants to sit there. This includes both the book floor as well as the café.

12. Don’t hide your empty Starbucks containers or banana peels on our shelves or under our chairs or tables. If you have trash to dispose of, just ask us where to put it.

Indeed. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for people to ask where they can throw something away. Especially when you can see garbage bins near every computer and guess what? *gasp!* We have a café! And do you know what that means?? It means there must be garbage containers there too! Oh my! What a surprise!

I don’t understand why people think we’re there to pick up their garbage. Leaving books behind is one thing, but your gas station Big Gulp is seriously another and one that we appreciate far, far less than the books and magazines. Do you know what happens with some of those? People will leave their cups half full and they can get knocked over and ruin an entire shelf of books. I’ve seen it before. If your plastic supersized cup is full of ice, condensation builds up, drips down, and leaves a puddle that can eventually seep into the nearby books. And by the way, people don’t really hide their stuff in our stores – they just set them on shelves and LEAVE THEM THERE. I’d like to let you know right now – when you do this it just makes it look like you are two things; lazy and stupid. Or maybe stupid should come first.

Of course, the above represents an extremely small fraction of our daily experiences. Most are with the wonderful book readers and book lovers that make owning an independent bookstore worthwhile and satisfying.

I’m not sure what their fraction happens to be, but even if our fraction is small, it’s still big enough to be extremely annoying and above all, obnoxious.

However, it isn’t big enough to make me not want to work at B&N because I love it there. What makes a work environment truly suck is bad management and negative employees. I admit, my PA B&N was better, but I’m plenty happy to be where I am now.

But, someday I’m going to write a book. Retail – gotta love it!

I already have written a book (or…more). Now all I need is to get it (or rather, them!) in print!

Losing Your Muse (Is A Pain In The Ass)

2011-03-08T13:10:00.004-06:00

It's interesting just how fast a muse can come and then slip right on out the door in that one second you happen to be looking in the other direction. Not that it matters, of course, because you never see a muse coming anyway.

A few blog posts ago, I made it pretty clear that a muse decided to show up at my doorstep and thwak me in the head with an idea. It's a fun idea, and I've been having a (relatively) good time with it, but for some reason the inspiration is gone. The ideas are there, but that "Oh yeah, that's good stuff" feeling is gone. It's a bummy feeling when your mystery muse leaves. You're left with that blank space where writer's block lurks. I've literally stared at a blank page for ten minute blocks, practically brain dead. And we know that there's a difference between what some call writer's block and the real thing.

The faux writer's block is where you can write, but you're pretty sure it's going to come out like crap. This is okay, becuase that's what revising is for. By then you'll have your story down in all its detailed glory so you'll be able to cut out all the nonsense you don't like and replace it with something with more substance.

Real writer's block is what I've been stuck with. Where you can't even come up with junk to put in place of good sentences just to get on to the next scene. The time spent gazing at a blank computer screen or, in my case, sheet of paper, mouth hanging open like a zombie that isn't actually dead. That's the nasty kind. I don't think that sort of writer's block shows up very often, but when it does, it sucks.

So then you start to doubt your writing. I mean, heck, if you can't come up with junk to fill in the gaps, what the hell is wrong with your story, right? That's what started to happen to me. What the hell was wrong with my story that my characters couldn't even come out with meaningless small talk? I was on chapter 10 - were all the previous chapters totally useless? What is happening? BWAAAAAAH!

By that point, I started to get frustrated. I needed a muse jump start. I needed something to get that kick back. Like cocaine. Okay, no. No cocaine, I'm just kidding. Music and movies though. That's what I turned to. Mostly music because there weren't many movies around for me to look at for what I needed. But even though my music library is huge, it didn't seem to have what I needed. I needed something to get the blood rushing, something to light up that magic spark again. It's tough to lure a muse in when they're so intent upon doing their own thing.

So I turned to older music. Music I hadn't listened to in a long while. Music that I thought I'd already killed. Except the funny thing is that I'd killed it with fanfiction ideas (stuff I never bothered to write down because it was too big and take up too much time - why write fanfiction when it doesn't get you anything?). And it worked. At least, one of them worked. I intend to dig around for more old music I haven't listened to in a long time to see what I can do with it. To see if I can summon the muse the way Piers Anthony does. I don't know what he uses or if he uses anything at all to jump start his writing, but I'm certainly going to bust ass on it.

I'm going to get that muse back and rock out if I have to get a pair of car jumper cables to do it. (Okay, maybe that's a bit extreme...so let's just leave that as a metaphor, shall we?)

Heeeeerrre muse, muse, muse!

I Get It (So Why Don't You?)

2011-01-26T11:05:00.005-06:00

Sometimes I wonder about people. At present, I wonder about their imaginations.

People everywhere watch movies. They read books. They do it to escape. They do it to dream. When something comes out that appears to stretch the limits of said imagination, people wig out a little bit. Not a lot. Just a little. And that's when I wonder.

I wonder if perhaps my imagination is a bit bigger than theirs. If I can handle a wider scope of the bizarre and mind-twisting pieces. That's not to say I'm better in any way, but it's because of this that sometimes I'm not sure I get what people are talking about.

Here's what I mean.

When The Matrix came out in theatres, people were flipping out. Why? Because, dude, it was such a mind trip. People clamored about how great it was (and with good reason), but then I remember people saying things like, "You'll have to see it twice to get it" and other statements along similar lines. I thought, "Really? It's that messed up?" So I went. I saw it. And I had no clue why so many people were having trouble understanding it and the concepts within it. I saw it once, and I understood it completely. Their reality was fake, caused by machines, who were using humans as batteries. Not a difficult concept to grasp. True, I understand how some people came away with the "Whoa, what if our reality is fake??" idea, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about how people needed to see the movie more than once in order to understand the whole deal.

I think of this because of the movie Inception. People were (and still are) saying some of the same things. How it should be seen more than once so you can "get it." I saw it once. I got it. Again, not hard. From nested dreams to that cheating little end (oh Nolan, you sly dog, you). And no, I don't count the end as a mind f*ck because, let's face it, Nolan did that on purpose just to get people to talk about it and argue over whether or not...well, I won't say in case you haven't seen it.

If I saw any of these movies twice, it's because they were good. Not because I only understood part of it the first time. And I'm not saying everyone does this. I just wonder why it's easier for some to get. Are our imaginations wider? Can we imagine triple dreams and subconcious limbo easier? For example, I'm ridiculous about The Mist - not because the monsters creep me out (though they do), but because of where the monsters came from. Because of that freakish "What if" that floats around out there. Because I can imagine it and it freaks me out. That's what's always scared me long after the scary movie is over. What my imagination conjures up, and it can conjue up some scary crap.

As writers, are we more susceptible to such things? Because we dream and we often dream big, are our imaginations like sponges? Able to absorb so much more and then be wrung out later, full of ideas and fear and fake realities and are-we-real-or-aren't-we stuff? Or are we just like everyone else, our imaginations no more spacious than the people we hope read our work? After all, how can one measure the imagination?

What are you dreaming of now?

WARNING!

2011-01-12T10:30:00.003-06:00

Be careful what you watch. Be careful what you read. Be careful what you listen to.

Because you never know when inspiration is going to sneak up behind you and hit you over the head with a bat.

The Numbers

2011-01-07T23:40:00.005-06:00

I had a thought on what to blog about a while back, but never got around to it. I will, sooner or later. It'll just be something fun and goofy. But for now, I'm going to blog on something else that just popped in there (...anyone else hear the stomping of a large marshmallow man?).

The numbers. Oh, the numbers.

By numbers, I'm referring to the sheer numbers of queries that agents read. The number of queries, the number of requests, and the number of clients signed.

It's enough to make you faint and for your butler (if you have one) to go running and fetch the smelling salts.

I was visiting Jennifer Jackson's blog where she frequently delivers her numbers to those of us who might be reading. Those numbers are kind of terrifying. In many cases, I don't like to look at them. Now, don't go running off to tell Ms. Jackson that I hate her blog or something equally ridiculous. That's not what I'm saying. In fact, quite the opposite. I like that she posts those numbers. It's very interesting to see just how many queries an agent can get in a week or a month or, in this post's case, a year.

For example, this year alone Ms. Jackson responded to 7,835 queries. Yeah. Almost eight thousand queries throughout the course of a year. That's a freaking lot. And how many authors did she sign? One.

Easily enough to give all us hopeful writers a heart attack. Your query might have been one of those. Mine wasn't simply because I've yet to flesh out a query letter that really kicks butt. But back to the point. We all know that there are a trunkload of other writers out there busting ass to try and get published. We just never really know how many. Agents like Ms. Jackson put it out there for us to see. It's a good thing. And it sucks. It really is cool to see the number of queries she's looking at, which is a testament to how hard she works (in my humble opinion), and I'm sure there are other agents out there as well with similar numbers. Some of them probably even have larger numbers.

And yet it's also freak-out-worthy. Because out of those thousands and thousands of letters, only one author made it through, signed, and with a deal (and by the sound of it, a three-book one). Eek! But should that dampen our spirits? No. That's why I still visit her blog and am willing to look at said numbers. Because the numbers don't matter, in a weird sort of way. Because next time that single author might be you. Or heck, me (if I'm lucky - wouldn't that rock?).

The numbers are why I don't get on airplanes. As everyone says, "What?" let me explain. People claim flying is the safest way to travel. That you're more likely to be in a car crash than in an airplane crash. While this may be true, I counter with a few things, based on the numbers. Yes, I am more likely to crash my car (and I've done it, by the way) but I'm also more likely to survive that crash (which I did...as evidenced by this post). If the airplane I'm in is the one out of the thousands of planes that ends up going down, chances are I'm not going to make it. So I refuse to ride airplanes.

Ok, so that's a really roundabout and really morbid way of making my point, which I'm sure you understood well before all of that. But the fact remains - don't despair because that single digit might be you someday. And that's why you need to keep chugging. And that's why you need to ignore the downside of the numbers. Sure, you'll have your random dip into blubbering and depression (which, if you rewind a few posts, you'll see mine), but it'll pass and also indicates why you should avoid reading agent blogs late at night because that's when you'll have way too much time to think (oh...wait....).

So chug away, my writing friends and future published authors. Chug away! And maybe make one your favorite number. Mine is and always was.

"Never tell me the odds!"

You Know You're A Geek When...

2010-11-05T12:27:00.001-05:00

Back in October I started a new story featuring a Sandman named Nocturne. But that's not what we're talking about today. You see, when I write, I write oldschool. I think I've mentioned this before, but in case you missed it, I'm not talking about typewriters. I mean oldschool, oldschool.

I write with a pencil and a notebook. That's right. A pencil. But it's not just any pencil. It's the Pentel Techniclick II. Oh yeah.

I first discovered these mechanical pencils back in college. I think. It really has been a long time. Maybe I found them in high school. Wherever it was, I quickly realized that these weren't the typical mechanical pencils. Oh no. These babies were the best mechanical pencils on the planet. 8 out of 10 times if I dropped the pencil, the lead didn't break. They were comfortable, I liked the way they wrote, and even though I always ended up snapping off part of the cap so I'd never be able to hang it on a pocket (oh wah, big deal), they were basically flawless in my eyes.

I'd even introduced them to my father who quickly came to the same realization I did. The Pentel Techniclick II was awesome. Even he noticed that the lead never seemed to break when the pencil was dropped. So it wasn't just me.

So big dea, it's a mechanical pencil. True - except then Pentel stopped making them.

*cue horror movie scream*

So what the heck am I doing talking about a pencil that you can't even buy? Well, sure, it does suck to be you, but this just goes to show that if you're like me and love to write the super oldschool way, how much of a total geek you are when something like this happens:

Out of a mix of emotions and being on a customer service contacting kick, I emailed Pentel and basically told them that I thought they'd made a huge mistake in ending their production of the Techniclick II. I explained that nothing else since has ever compared (true) and that I hadn't purchased a new pencil since my last purchase of Techniclick IIs which was during college around the 2005 mark (true). I was down to my last 0.7 pencil (the others having disappeared in some fashion and my 0.5 pencil had broken after being in my purse (my fault). I said that I didn't know what I was going to do if my 0.5 pencil went bye-bye.

So it was part complaint, part reprimand, part praise. And we all know that these people never respond.

Except in this case. I received an email from Pentel from their customer service head honcho saying that, naturally, they were sorry for not making the Techniclick II anymore but guess what? She'd found some in a warehouse just hanging out and would I like some sent to me for free?

OMGYESPLZNOW. Pretty much sums up my reaction. She'd even asked what size I preferred, 0.7 or 0.5. I like 0.7 but said I'd take whatever they had because I was beyond the point of caring about specifics at that point. As long as I got some, I would be happy as a clam.

Sure enough, a handful of days later I got six (six!) Techniclick II Pentel pencils in the mail, all bright and shiny and new. I gave three to my dad and kept three for myself. It was like Christmas came early. I think the customer service woman probably thought I had issues becuase of how many times I thanked her and how excited I was.

But honestly, when you get free stuff in the mail and you really love it, what's not to be excited about? And these pencils? I'm in writer heaven.

My name is Nicole T. and I am a total geek.

When It Hits You

2010-11-02T00:42:00.003-05:00

At around 12:20am, I was moseying around online (since late at night is the only time I have to myself these days - or at least it seems like it) and checking various blogs. I saw a new post over at BookEnds, LLC and decided to read it.

It's a great post. It's all about agents (or at least in this case, Jessica Faust) being all yippy-skippy about when calling an author for representation and/or about a book deal with a publisher. The pause when the author might scream with amazement or joy. Or do the "telephone happy dance" (my favorite part of that post). Even better, she showed the agent's excitement on the other end. Actually waiting for the author to phone back with (hopefully) a yes. Then she wants to scream and do the telephone happy dance. It was a really nice look into an agent's side of things and made a lot of people smile and laugh, myself included.

I even left a comment about how one day I hoped to have an agent as excited about me as she gets about her clients.

And then I thought about it a little.

And then I got a little bummed out.

And then I just burst into tears.

I sat here in front of my computer, head in my hands, and cried. Because I don't have an agent that's excited about me or my work. Because I'm tired. Just tired. Normally I'm the one who tosses aside rejection letters and tries again. Because I know rejection is just a part of the writing life. And I'm always saying, "I don't care if I'm 90 years old - I'm getting published!"

But I got that dark, bottomless pit feeling inside me at that very moment. No one wants me. No one loves my writing. And the worst of it is, I haven't even been waiting as long as some people. I know I haven't. But I've been working my fingers to the bone, money is frighteningly tight around here, and I've barely had any time to write for myself for the past several months.

And I'm tired.

Still, it's good to get that out once and a while. I cried and sniffled for a good twenty minutes or so. I'm sure once I hit the hay and get a good rest (if possible - I never did like my mattress), I'll wake up refreshed and ready to go again and be able to look at the future with hope and eagerness.

I think I'd better do that.

Tired.

Shutting Down the Internal Editor

2010-11-01T11:25:00.004-05:00

I'm actually writing this in October, but since the Writing Meme is going on, I figured it would be best just to program it to show up in November to avoid double-posts.

Anywho, at the time I was cruising through the Absolute Write blog update forum and found this blog entry. It's pretty hard not to relate to that letter. Internal editor getting in the way all the time, pointing out stuff that's wrong, deadlines, all sorts of annoying crap. I know, the whole internal editor thing and the way we writers react to it makes it sound like we have multiple personalities, but I'd like to point something out to you.

First of all, if you didn't think we had multiple personalities before hearing the way we talk about internal editors makes me wonder about you. We have dozens of characters bouncing around our heads all the time, and it takes an internal editor bit to make you voice such concerns? Geezo.

Second of all, most writers, when asked, will mention something about an internal editor and often include how it's a bitch. It's like there's this other little part of your brain reminding you of all this other junk while you're just trying to write and get the freakin' words on the page. Maybe it's left brain vs. right. I don't know. What I do know is that it is possible to shut it down.

While Ms. Morrigan wrote a letter, I left a comment on her blog stating that writing letters to my internal editor doesn't work. She ignores them. Likewise, talking to her and telling her to shut up doesn't work. I've had to resort to more drastic measures to put her in her place.

When working on most books, she was never a problem. I'd just breeze on through, la-de-da. But that was before I went to Seton Hill and discovered everything WRONG with my writing. Suddenly my internal editor didn't suck at her job (if she even existed in the first place) and had plenty of cool new rules and regulations to implement. So once I began to write my newest manscript, she wouldn't shut up. Let me repeat that: My internal editor would NOT SHUT UP. I rewrote the beginning at least five times. I actually lost count. I struggled with word choice, created scenes that refused to work. Could not decide upon proper names. Nothing was perfect, and that was the problem.

First drafts are crap, to be base about it. They're the ideas slapped down without everything being perfect. That's what revision is for. We all know this. Revision is for fine tuning those good ideas, tweaking scenes or cutting them, and fixing up all the spelling and grammar we goofed on the first time around. My internal editor, however, kept insisting everything be perfect the first time. There is no chance of this happening. Ever.

Finally, after asking some advice from people, I visualized my internal editor, got a little violent, and stuffed her in a cage and put a lock on it. It sounds ridiculous, but visualization helps. It worked. I was still writing junk, mind you, but at least the thoughts were getting onto the paper. I could fix everything later like I was supposed to. It was still a little tough at the beginning because I was still uncertain about the opening, but at least I'd finally jumped into it and got the story rolling.

So do what you have to in order to shut down your internal editor so you can actually get some writing done. Write a letter, do some mental pep-talking, or be like me and just shove her in a damn box and refuse to let her out until you're good and ready for her to come back out and do her job.

Not A Writing Meme: Day 31

2010-10-31T10:56:00.001-05:00

HAPPY

HALLOWEEN!

Writing Meme: Day 30

2010-10-30T11:53:00.000-05:00

30. Final question! Tag someone! And tell us what you like about that person as a writer and/or about one of his/her characters!

I honestly don't have anyone to tag. And I know nothing about anyone's writing or characters. Unless some of my followers want to rock out and do a thirty-day meme. Here's a tip though: Do chunks of it so you finish in a few days. HA. Then just schedule the posts to pop up every day.

You don't actually think I sat down every day to do a post, did you? Yeah right. Like I have time for that. =P

Writing Meme: Day 29

2010-10-29T22:51:00.002-05:00

29. How often do you think about writing? Ever come across something IRL that reminds you of your story/characters?

HOLY F YES. In the book that’s being shopped to publishers as we speak, I killed off a guy by having him inhale spores from an alien fungus. The fungus attached itself to places inside his lungs and happily started growing. He died from asphyxiation and when they autopsied him, found all this purple fungus partying in his lungs.

I thought to myself, “Man, stuff like that in real life would suck.”

Then I watched Planet Earth. I am so glad I’m not an insect.

In the jungle somewhere lives a fungus that likes to get into the heads of insects. Literally. The spores end up in their brains and, if it can, somehow gets them to climb up high. They showed an infected ant dragging itself up a twig with its mandibles. Eventually these insects die and the fungus grows and sprouts out of their heads and bodies to continue doing what it does. Ants will carry their ill comrades far, far away to keep the entire colony from getting infected.

Writing Meme: Day 28

2010-10-28T22:50:00.001-05:00

28. Have you ever written a character with physical or mental disabilities? Describe them, and if there’s nothing major to speak of, tell us a few smaller ones.

No idea if this actually counts or not, but I guess in SF anything goes. Cutter Hayward was in, well, let’s say it was a little accident. Mangled as his body was, he had two options; go cyborg or integrate with the ship. He chose to go with the ship. So if you ever want to visit him, he’s behind Panel No. 5, hooked up more than someone in the Matrix.

Writing Meme: Day 27

2010-10-27T11:37:00.001-05:00

27. Along similar lines, do appearances play a big role in your stories? Tell us about them, or if not, how you go about designing your characters.

I guess I'll go with yes because they're all so different. The dragon form of a Galatac will depend upon him/her, but also how many are involved during the transformation. Once you get past two, the color of the dragon will be constant. For example, Kaiton is red and gold when trouncing around as a dragon, but if he performs the transformatin with two others, then he - and they - will be white. Four and they'll be gold. Five...well I've actually forgotten what happens when they hit five since it's yet to happen, but I do remember it's something sort of bizarre. That happens when a lot of power bounces around.

Anywho, as for appearances with regular(ish) people, they are important, but when it comes to description, I only dish out enough so the reader has a general idea. They're allowed to fill in gaps. I don't detail clothing like some people do. It's boring and a waste of time. When clothing is detailed, it's for a reason.

Character design usually just pops in there like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Yeah. They'll just stroll into my brain and wave. True, they may need some tweaking, but usually they're in pretty good shape. Other times, though, I have developed characters from scratch, but that's usually when I take someone from real life and create a character for them. Some people, I've found, are more difficult than others.

Writing Meme: Day 26

2010-10-26T15:58:00.002-05:00

26. Let’s talk art! Do you draw your characters? Do others draw them? Pick one of your OCs and post your favorite picture of him!

Nope. I’ve never drawn any of my characters. One person drew one of my characters once. I think I still have it…somewhere…

What I have found though, are a few pictures that work quite nicely with things I’ve written. How about I send you to some of those? The art is amazing anyway… I friggin' love Deviant Art.

This is so ridiculously close to the incident at the end of my most recent book. The girl is a remarkable resemblance to Caroline after she was cursed. Cuts included. Yeah. She was in a bad way. Though it was a different man who would have carried her, but this guy could easily be her brother, Alex, who was nearby at the time and yes, dressed in black as well. I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw this.

Yes, it's on it's side, so it's a little awkward, but that almost works considering the character. This could easily be Aether, one of my antagonists, who is truly insane. Most of my antagonists are evil and have greed and bloodlust on their minds. Aether is just way, way off the deep end.

Fihr and his mate Marianne. I use the term "mate" because Fihr (whose name is still up for debate) used to be a wolf.

At one point I have a god revive past warriors to fight an awakened evil. Jace never got a woman in his last life. This time he falls for an elf and she for him. Oh, and did I mention the god gave them wings?

Yes, Xerphin is this big. And Galatacs come pretty damn close.

Writing Meme: Day 25

2010-10-25T21:57:00.001-05:00

25. Do any of your characters have pets? Tell us about them.

Only one of them. Gabrielle has a dog named Piccolo. He’s a Siberian husky and based on the dog I hope to have someday. Yay!

Writing Meme: Day 24

2010-10-24T12:04:00.001-05:00

24. How willing are you to kill your characters if the plot so demands it? What’s the most interesting way you’ve killed someone?

I will kill someone if the plot requires it to move forward, though I admit to not killing people when it would likely make the story more interesting. For example, in one story, my guys Cole and Jace ended up in a bad sitaution. For a long, long time, my plan was to kill Cole in a cave in. If it were to ever end up in an editor's hands and they said, "Kill him," I probably would (yes, I'm sorry Cole, but you're expendable. Your woman will be very sad). However, as I continued to write and flesh things out, I enjoyed him (yes, I know, kill your darlings or your babies or whatever, but he's a fun guy and it felt kind of empty to give him a girl and then wipe him out of the pages), and it works just as well with him not dying.

But that doesn't mean I'm afraid to kill main characters or anything. I kill a lot of people. Kings. Queens. Mothers. Brothers. In a few stories, I kill the main character (with good reason). So yeah, I'll kill people if I have to.

As for interesting ways I've killed people, that one's up in the air. How interesting is interesting? I mean, I have a mug here that says, "Inventing ways to kill characters is my specialty." I've suffocated a guy with alien fungus growing in his lungs (just wait till we get to day 29). I killed one poor guy with a bit of dragon inspiration (the dragon was toying with him and then had an "AHHA!" moment and did that thing where you slap your hand on the surface of something when you get that bit of inspiration. Guy = pancaked). I sort of killed a group of people using demons. I say "sort of" because the entity in charge didn't want their souls to go back to their creator (and potentially lead to more problems), so it encased their souls within their dead bodies.

Oh yeah. It's always a party in my stories. Haha.

See? Told ya.

Writing Meme: Day 23

2010-10-23T21:56:00.001-05:00

23. How long does it usually take you to complete an entire story—from planning to writing to posting (if you post your work)?

I average about a year.

Writing Meme: Day 22

2010-10-22T21:55:00.001-05:00

22. Tell us about one scene between your characters that you’ve never written or told anyone about before! Serious or not.

There’s an alternate universe where Kaiton’s people never joined with Xerphin but often took women captive after a fight with another realm (or whomever – they’re often hired out by others). They often take these women as wives. The details change from time to time on who gets Alliah (Kaiton’s wife) first, but eventually Kaiton takes her in. He’s the strong silent type to the nth degree. Never pushes, never makes her do anything she doesn’t want to. In fact, if she were to escape, he’d let her. One night he returns to home after a particularly nasty battle and she helps dress his wounds. Eventually they begin to understand one another and get together.

It’s actually much longer than one scene I guess, like a little story that plays in my mind, but it’s never gone down on paper or anything else so it counts. It would be a fun one to write though…

Writing Meme: Day 21

2010-10-21T21:54:00.001-05:00

21. Do any of your characters have children? How well do you write them?

Several of them have children. I write them just like any other character (so to speak). None of them are very young though so it’s not like I’m writing toddlers or something. I mean to say I don’t have any more trouble writing them than I would when dealing with another character. Each one is his or her own person so that’s how I deal with them. *shrug*

Writing Meme: Day 20

2010-10-20T13:43:00.001-05:00

20. What are your favorite character interactions to write?

Kaiton and Akira! Father and daughter, they’re too much alike so they clash a lot. The best part (and maybe this is messed up) is that Akira’s just as strong as her father and they’ve beaten the crap out of one another before. They’ve had a very odd relationship…. I enjoy writing them because as much as they fight, and as weird as this is going to sound, they really do love each other. Kaiton ultimately feels that he’s failed her mother (this whole thing is a long story…) and Akira’s never really belonged anywhere.

Let’s just say that it’s a party whenever these two show up on the page together.

Dang. I just noticed. A lot of these questions are about characters. Is there going to be something else soon?

Writing Meme: Day 19

2010-10-19T14:42:00.001-05:00

19. Favorite minor that decided to shove himself into the spotlight and why!

Meyers. Private Jacob Meyers. Grade A smartass with a lot of great lines. He’s the guy you’d want to hang out with at the bar once he got home from his tour overseas (or in this case, on another planet). I hated killing him, but it had to be done. Honestly, I almost didn’t do it, but knew that mattered. R.I.P. Meyers.

Writing Meme: Day 18

2010-10-18T16:41:00.001-05:00

18. Favorite antagonist and why!

Yeah Xerphin! He’s my black dragon and no, I do not give a crap how cliché that sounds. Being black actually has nothing to do with the fact that he’s evil. He just happened to be born that way. Anytime I picture him, he’s sitting at my side looking like that really dangerous Doberman you never want to mess with. That’s how I picture Xerphin and his right hand man Kaarn. My two guard dogs. Badasses.

But I love Xerphin because he’s just so damn mean and he gets so much pleasure out of it. It’s fun to write, as messed up as that sounds. There are bad guys that you utterly despise, bad guys that annoy the crap out of you, and bad guys that somehow manage to rock (like Darth Vader – he was NOT a nice person, but damn he was cool). Xerphin rocks. That’s why I was pleased that my critique group liked him (even though the piece featuring him needed serious work – and with good reason too).

Writing Meme: Day 17

2010-10-17T12:56:00.003-05:00

17. Favorite protagonist and why!

Kaiton! I love that man. In a way, he’s every girl’s dream come true. Well, at least for girls who’ve always wanted a guy to change from bad to good.

Kaiton is the ultimate bad boy. A top warrior in Xerphin’s army, he saves a woman and goes traitor (he’d been thinking about it for a while anyway). But while he plots his return, he falls in love with the woman he rescued, they marry, have a baby girl...but then he loses his wife.

AWWWWW.

On his own once again, he believes it's safer for his daughter if she grows up in a normal family instead of running around with him (he's back on the revenge plot - did I mention he found out Xerphin slaughtered his people while he was gone?). From there, it's just one big party. You never know how far on the dark side he is (to borrow from Star Wars) or if he'll ever go back to the way he was with his wife. Especially after he meets his daughter again.

DUN DUN DUN!

He's simply a blast to write. His "fuck with me and I'll kill you" attitude, his dark/light see-sawing, his interactions with his daughter - everything is just so fun. And I torture that guy so much, mentally and physically. I've beaten him up, nearly killed him, and when he does die, he doesn't go to hell, but he's been such a bad boy, he's not allowed to be with his wife's spirit either. She's constantly being reincarnated, so his heaven isn't entirely heaven. You should see what his soul looks like.... *cue evil cackle*

Writing Meme: Day 16

2010-10-16T21:40:00.002-05:00

16. Do you write romantic relationships? How do you do with those, and how “far” are you willing to go in your writing? ;)

Ooooh yeah. I do enjoy a nice romance here and there. They’re almost as much fun to write as a fight scene. Everyone loves a nice bit of sexual tension from time to time. As for how “far” I’ll go, I used to give my characters their privacy, but in my last ms, well, let’s just say I went all the way.

(And on a totally different subject, I'm giving away 4 books on my Bookseller Recommends blog!)

Writing Meme: Day 15

2010-10-15T12:32:00.001-05:00

15. Midway question! Tell us about a writer you admire, whether professional or not!

There are a lot of them. There is no one writer I admire the most because they’re all out there, working hard, and putting their work into print while I sit here and pull my hair out and...yeah. So I'll name a few authors and say why I admire them and their work.

Karen Marie Moning - Her great stories and her dedication to her fan base. Even if she doesn't always personally answer some of her fanmail, you will get a response from someone that's not a form letter. I hope to have a fun following like that someday.

Janet Evanovich - Because she has to put up with people damanding books year after year since they don't realize it takes a while to actually craft the book to make it decent and then all the production stuff that goes after it, so she's probably been doing books in six months or so, which is why people have no reason to bitch when they don't like the story. You hear that, Stephanie Plum fans? You want a better story and better writing, quit bitching about how long it takes to get the next story. Janet also gets ponits because of the number of books with the same characters in them. I honestly don't know if I could come up with 18 books featuring the same people. It's no wonder she crafted a story revolving around Diesel...

J.R.R. Tolkien - Not just world building; universe building.

L.J. Smith - Description powerhouse. I'm pleased to say I sold another copy of The Forbidden Game a few days ago.

Pretty much any author who manages to land an agent and get their book into print. That itself is a feat.

Writing Meme: Day 14

2010-10-14T11:38:00.002-05:00

14. How do you map out locations, if needed? Do you have any to show us?

I’ve actually create several maps. If I need to visualize it better, I’ll do a quick sketch or something, but if I really need to see the whole thing (or I’m just feeling fun and artsy), I’ll make an entire map. I got into it for a while, so all of the ones I’ve done were made around the same time. I never used to have a scanner, but now that I do, I guess I can show you one. Mind you, these are not the best. I stopped taking art after high school.

Here are two of the five maps I've drawn. It was cool after scanning them because scanners always deliver stuff in HUGE format, so seeing my pen strokes magnified was kinda neat.

Writing Meme: Day 13

2010-10-13T13:49:00.001-05:00

13. What’s your favorite culture to write, fictional or not?

Galatacs. I love them. Even though I killed all of them. No joke. I wiped most of them out in the early part of a story. But that just makes the ones left that much more special. I even started to make a language for them and everything. I know, it’s ridiculous. But I still love them. Superior fighters in every way, they rock at what they do. They bleed gold. Their most powerful weapon is their skill to transform into dragons (the big kind), but it’s also a weakness (the thing that allows them to change can be broken and it hurts like a mother).

Writing Meme: Day 12

2010-10-12T14:48:00.001-05:00

12. In what story did you feel you did the best job of world building? Any side-notes on it you’d like to share?

I suppose my best so far would have to be the novel getting shopped right now. Take note that I said “so far.” And it’s only that way because of all my critique partners and their endless badgering about more/better description. There is a difference between more description and better description – I just needed both of them. So I read some books and did some practicing and busted some ass to deliver better planets.

I don’t really have any side notes though. I still need to work on my description and world building powers so I’m not exactly one to give any advice. However, Word Painting is a great book that you should take a look at if you have issues like I do.

Writing Meme: Day 11

2010-10-11T18:48:00.001-05:00

11. Who is your favorite character to write? Least favorite?

Tricky. Very tricky. It’s almost a toss up between Akira and Xerphin. Akira because she’s just fun as hell, a chick that doesn’t take crap from anyone and never backs down from a fight. If I could be a character, she’s it. I love Xerphin just because he’s so goddamn mean. He is, by far, my favorite bad guy. Sorry I had to kill you babe.

Least favorite, I’ll go with what my brain shouted. Chaverria. He’s fine now since his part is over, but at the time he was a pain in the ass. I didn’t know what to do with him and it was like he kept doing stuff that I wasn’t even really sure I wanted him to do. You know that one character that just starts doing shit without your permission? Like the quote at the top of this blog? Yeah, he was that guy. An older wizard that didn’t seem to have a right place anywhere. And if I remember right, I think I’m going to change him some more in the future because I realized he never uses any magic. It’s kind of stupid to have a wizard hanging out and not helping when there’s a huge effing fight going on.

Writing Meme: Day 10

2010-10-10T18:46:00.001-05:00

10. What are some really weird situations your characters have been in? Everything from serious canon scenes to meme questions counts!

Uh, they get into some pretty messed up situations, so I think I’ll do this in list format and you can see for yourself.

Waking up after being dead.
Going back in time.
Having Hell pretty much open up in front of you and having to fight a pack of demons right then and there.
Getting possessed by a dragon
Discovering that you’re not actually human.
Transforming from a mouse (normal form) into something like a human and then being face to face with a very large falcon.
Realizing your world actually connects to a highly advanced one and the fairy you’ve been trying to save has been hooked up to be used as a power source.
Partnering with a sentient plant to save a planet.
Stepping into a masquerade ball and discovering that those aren’t masks (and pretty much everything else that happened to Gabrielle in that book).
Realizing that your guide really is part wolf.

There are plenty more, I’m sure, and these barely scratch the surface of what’s really going on. But hopefully they’ve at least piqued your interest.

Writing Meme: Day 9

2010-10-09T18:45:00.001-05:00

9. How do you get ideas for your characters? Describe the process of creating them.

Ideas crop up all over. There’s not much control as to when they decide to pop in and make themselves known. It can happen when I’m watching a movie. Listening to music. At work when there’s no one checking out at the cash register and I’m just zoning out. Inspiration is everywhere.

After someone makes an appearance though and I’ve decided they’re worth taking a look at, usually a good daydreaming session will flesh them out. This often means staring out into space at some point during the day. A piece notebook (as I call it) can also be handy where I’ll put the character into a random situation and play with them to see how they’ll react. I get most of my development done while daydreaming just after waking up in the morning or before falling asleep the night before. There are times when music may be involved. Since most characters usually appear with a scene in tow, I’ll play out that scene. Sometimes the scene is worth keeping, sometimes it’ll get dumped.

Daydreaming. That’s my process. So very scientific.

Writing Meme: Day 8

2010-10-08T18:44:00.001-05:00

8. What’s your favorite genre to write? To read?

Though I do have fun with SF, my true love is fantasy. Always has been. Always will be. And though I don’t do strictly romance, I do enjoy a good love scene.

Reading, however, is a whole other story. I read just about everything. No joke. Scroll through my list of books on my Bookseller Recommends blog and you’ll see what I mean. I can’t really say that I have a favorite genre to read because they’re all so much fun.

However…having said that, if I look at my bookself, I think it’s obvious that I adore the fantastic. Harry Potter. The Fever Series by Karen Moning. A leather-bound compilation of Grimm’s Fairy Tales. Some urban fantasy fun from Jill Myles. So in the end, I guess fantasy wins here too. Or at least, it wins my hard earned dollars. Heh.

Writing Meme: Day 7

2010-10-07T18:43:00.002-05:00

7. Do you listen to music while you write? What kind? Are there any songs you like to relate/apply to your characters?

Oh ho ho ho! Did this question really just get asked? *cue crazed grin* Perhaps you should read my post about killing songs.

While I don’t always listen to music as I write, there are many times when music is almost essential. Having a kick ass song rock my eardrums while I pen a blazing battle scene is simply the tops. For the most part, soundtracks offer the juiciest pieces of music ever. That’s not to say that I haven’t enjoyed a ton of regular songs by other artists as well. There are so many, I can’t even begin to list them. As for relating or applying songs to characters, oh you have no idea.

I have a Word document that is six pages long of nothing but soundtracks. I have soundtracks for books that aren’t even written yet. I have completed soundtracks for full manuscripts. And no, it’s not just a few songs. I mean soundtracks. I’ll have as many as 14 songs for a book. They can be character themes, songs for a fight scene, a love theme, end credits, and yes, I even have trailer music. No joke. I own a ton of trailer music and some of those little snippets work wonderfully for those fun little movie trailers many of us tend to craft in our minds. As we speak I have soundtrack music going.

Most of this stuff ends up reviewed on Epinions too. So if you’re ever wondering about a particular CD and whether or not it might work, feel free to see if it’s on my list (there are over 70 on there last I looked).

…Do you guys want a sample soundtrack? Do you? …All right. Here’s one of them.

Trailer – “Raging Mad Drums” by X-Ray Dog
Humans vs. Taregots (The First
Encounter) – Transformers, “Skorpinok”
The First Raid – “Hell Yeah” by Rev
Theory
The Fourth Raid Fails – “Don’t Hold Back” by The Potbelleez, “I Don’t
Care” by Apocalyptica, Man on Fire, “Man on Fire (Remix)”
Anna Is Lost – Man
on Fire, “The End Music”
Acceptance of Anna’s Death – Star Wars Episode III,
“Immolation Scene”
The Final Battle/World Ends – The Chronicles of Narnia
Soundtrack, “The Battle”
Anna Reunites with Dominic/Everyone Together – The
Chronicles of Narnia Soundtrack, “Only the Beginning of the Adventure”
Anna
& Dominic’s Theme – “Savin’ Me” by Nickelback
Credits – The Chronicles
of Narnia Soundtrack, “Can’t Take It In”
Overall Book Theme Album –
Transformers Soundtrack

I know. It seems weird to have stuff like Transformers and Narnia together, but trust me, it works. And yes, I’ve totally killed most of these songs. I seriously cannot do the Apocalyptica one anymore.

Writing Meme: Day 6

2010-10-06T18:42:00.001-05:00

6. Where are you most comfortable writing? At what time of day? Computer or good ol’ pen and paper?

Interestingly enough, I always claim that I’m not a morning person. Yet when I want to write, I find that waking up in the morning and immediately setting to work is the best time. And still in my bed. Yep. I grab a pencil (yes, a pencil. Not a pen, not a laptop, a p e n c i l) and notebook and go to town. Music may or may not be involved.

I used to be unable to think while typing away at a computer, but I’ve gotten better at it over the years. I do it from time to time, but primarily end up with a notebook and favorite pencil. Love the way it feels and if you’ve never tried it, you’re missing out. People who think authors that use typewriters are oldschool—I’m freakin’ super oldschool!

Writing Meme: Day 5

2010-10-05T18:41:00.001-05:00

5. By age, who is your youngest character? Oldest? How about “youngest” and “oldest” in terms of when you created them?

Oden might actually tie with Okaru. I’m reorganizing one of those stories, so I’m not sure yet. They’re both around 12 or 13 (I never gave them a definite age). As for oldest, I’ll have to go with Thule. He is, after all, a god—but even gods have to start somewhere, right?

In terms of creation, are we talking about their age when they appeared on paper or the first and last characters ever made? Hmm. Let’s do both!

Thule would have to be the youngest since he was the first being ever made in the universe. If you don’t want to go that route, then Akira because she first came onstage as a newborn baby. Oldest, ironically, would be Oden. I know, that doesn’t make sense, but throughout the book he’s young. However, he’s actually the one telling the story (you just don’t find that out until the end) and dies on the last page so he’s definitely my oldest.

In terms of first and last to appear on the page, I would have to say that Tathalia was my first creation ever, and the last…I guess that would be the Steward Dunstan. Or did I change that guy’s name…?

Writing Meme: Day 4

2010-10-04T16:39:00.000-05:00

4. Tell us about one of your first stories/characters!

Eh. Do I have to? The first short story I ever wrote involved a group of animals that had been illegally smuggled out of the rainforest to be sold in a pet shop. Redfeather was the main character, a sort of bird of paradise (none of these animals had any actual rainforest counterparts) and his best pal was Mouser (a mouse of some sort). I think they were friends with a snake and something else. At one point, a pretty white and blue bird came in—female of course. Her name was White Rain (I think). Redfeather attempted to impress her.

Anywho, at one point Mouser got sold to someone and the animals of the store decided that was the last straw. They figured out where Mouser was sold to, rescued him, and hitched a ride on a bus (or something) to get back down the rainforest. Yay.

I think now that it might still make for a cute kids book (completely redone, of course), but I’m not a writer of children’s books or anything like that, so it’ll never happen. But that was my first story, written in 4th grade. I didn’t decide I wanted to be a writer 100% of the time until 6th grade though.

Writing Meme: Day 3

2010-10-03T14:38:00.001-05:00

3. How do you come up with names for characters (and for places if you’re writing about fictional places)?

Oh I did a whole presentation on this for my grad program. Names comes from everywhere. The book being shopped is sort of like an ode to soundtrack composers. At the time I needed some name and then *ding!* decided to look through my playlist and use composer names. I’ve also pulled made up names from thin air and often take a normal word and screw it up.

BehindtheName.com is also a super awesome site that I visit from time to time when I find myself stuck.

Writing Meme: Day 2

2010-10-02T18:37:00.003-05:00

2. How many characters do you have? Do you prefer males or females?

Uh, are we talking all books here? Red shirts and everything? Ok, hold on. I have to go count. No, really, I do. I even made an Access sheet just to keep my characters in order, and even then those were just for the 5,000 Realms books. I ended up doing another for a separate book with the included (SYCFR) in the title (which stands for “Since You Can’t Fucking Remember). Hey, I couldn’t.

Over 120. I’m not going to try and keep counting. I know there are more. In terms of numbers, I think I have more men than women, though when it comes to protagonists, women are definitely out in front. They’re usually kicking ass in the process. But don’t worry guys, I love you too, and you definitely have your ass-kicking moments.

A Writing Meme: Day 1

2010-10-01T17:37:00.003-05:00

I find it interesting how "meme" is the new word for "chain letter," but we'll let that slide for now. I stumbled upon this while cruising a few blogs a while ago. At the time I was supposed to work on coming up with a better title and do paying freelance work, but hey, I like to procrastinate. It's what I do best.

So the meme is apparently a whole month deal. That means you'll get a little nugget o' something each day. It's all different and this is day one, so enjoy!

1. Tell us about your favorite writing project/universe that you’ve worked with and why.

As much as I enjoyed some of my most recent projects, my favorite universe is the 5,000 Realms universe. Granted, I’m not going to write 5,000 books, but the general mythology in them is that Thule (or God if you prefer) created 5,000 realms. Earth is included, but nothing ever takes place here because Earth is too damn boring and there are too many rules to follow.

(Okay, so Earth actually does have a moment due to the portals that connect all the realms, but the people there don’t know that and neither will anyone reading the book until this universe gets into print.)

I love this universe because, sure, it was my first, but also because of all the diversity. In the real world, diversity annoys the hell out of me (mostly because the word is usually tied to someone’s agenda). But in these worlds, it means dragons and shapeshifters, humans and made up peoples. It’s a blast because it’s a mix of everything. Fights that border on epic (yes, I said it), dark magic, revenge, true love…suddenly I sound like the Grandpa in The Princess Bride…

In the end, it’s my favorite because it’s been so much fun to write.

Exclamation Points

2010-09-23T23:51:00.002-05:00

Does anyone love them anymore?

The "Reasons to Date a Writer" Thing

2010-09-21T00:22:00.005-05:00

Someone over on the SHU board (yeah, I graduated and I still hang out there - what can I say? I get nuggets of gold from that place and the people) posted this link, which you may have found by now. If not, no biggie. Now you can enjoy. It's quite amusing, though I am baffled at the original and wonder just what the person was smoking. I also have a few comments on some of the items in the list:

#6 - Yes. It is true. And I really, truly am trying to stop doing this while watching movies with family and friends.

#7 - Excuse me, but I am smart. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but years of school, college, and truckloads of research for various projects novel and non-novel related have filled my head with plenty of information. When people don't know something, they often come to me for answers. I may not always have it, but even if I don't, I'll often look it up later out of sheer curiosity.

#16 - I'm still trying to figure this one out.

#18 - Yup.

#19 - My older sister once asked me if it would be lame if she got me a B&N gift card as a present for Christmas one year. Not only do I write, but I work there as well. Pure headdesk moment, right there.

Chocolate. We like chocolate too. Get us some of that.

Like Porn for English Majors...Or Writers

2010-09-02T11:33:00.006-05:00

I went to visit my library account online to see how I was faring in the queue for several books I have on hold. To my dismay, the link was down. While investigating the main library page, I started wondering who wrote the articles on there, wondered if maybe I could get in on that somehow, and then spotted this article.

At first I had a small cow. The OED? Gone? Forever? Extinct? Then I realized they would just be online. Which is fine. Except it costs money to get, right?

That was what I thought until I saw the link that allowed library card holders to access the OED Online. I had a moment of denial. "No....really? No....I can?" I went through, put in my library card number, and lo and behold, there it was. The OED Online.

I probably looked like I'd just orgasmed in my chair.

See, I loooove the OED. Looooooove it. The OED is the best thing since sliced bread, maybe better since slicing bread isn't all that hard. I had access to it while in school at Illinois State University, but after that, no dice. I was very bummed. Sure, definitions are a dime a dozen, but what I love best about the OED is that it has documented uses - as in the first time a word was used and then in subsequent years after that. I used "lexicon" as my test drive word (hey, it's what popped in there), and sure enough, there was the entry, it's origins, and it's first use ever in 1603. Pure yayness.

If you've never experienced the OED, you should. It's a grand thing. Heck, see if your library supports it and allows you access the way mine does. I've been here a year and never knew they did that. I've been contemplating breaking into my dad's UMKC account to see if he had access to it.

I am just so thrilled. I just had to share my joy. Long live the OED indeed!

Bookseller Terminology

2010-08-16T01:21:00.002-05:00

I was never quite sure whether or not people knew some of the terminology used in bookselling. I've seen writers throw out "backlist" and "frontlist" whereas I never had any idea of what they were until working for Barnes & Noble. I'd like to add that working for a bookstore has infinitely improved my knowledge of the selling aspect of the book. The far end, if you will, of the writing business. So if you ever get the chance to work at a bookstore for a while, do it. If anything, the clientele is much better than at that clothing store you've been stuck in (I would know).

So I've thrown out terms here and there sort of half-assuming that people would know what I was talking about, occasionally clarifying, yadda yadda yadda, until recently an author asked what one of them meant. I decided it's time you get a little extra knowledge in your brains, even if Borders or your local mom & pop bookstore down the street don't use the same terms. But B&N is a big freakin' bookseller, so hey, it doesn't hurt to know some of these, right? And if anything, you'll know what some of your fellow authors (or just me) are talking about from time to time.

Promo: Not a real big deal to know, but in case you hear one of us muttering about promos while looking for your book, it means it's in some sort of promotion area. A table. An endcap (see all those books sitting on little clear shelves at the end of a row of shelves? That's an endcap). Faced out somewhere. Promos do not necessarily the book is on sale. It's simply being promoted in some way. Think of it as a form of marketing. If your book is on promo, then it gets more notice, more publicity, and can mean more sales.

Face Out: A faced out book is pretty self explanatory. It's faced out. You can see the front of the cover instead of the spine. Whether you want to believe it or not, people do tend to judge books on their covers, so pray you have a good one if your book is faced out. Typically faced out books include: new titles, promo titles, titles that we have 3 or more of, we're using it as a bookend, we're trying to fill gaps on the shelf, we know you, or we like your work. No, those last four aren't actually regulation, but we all do it.

Backlist: These are books that we pretty much have in the store all the time. They're not new, they've been around for a while, and they're not necessarily a major priority unless they're on a promo. If we have oodles of backlist, then the extras are put in the backstock area until we have room. These are modeled titles.

Frontlist: These books are put out as soon as possible because they're fresh off the press and not modeled. We usually get in 3 or more of these types of titles. Usually they go out right away either in section or on promo. If you see us at the Info desk putting away a cart full of books, there's a good chance they're frontlist. Frontlist are typically faced out.

Modeled: This is what you want to be if you're an author. Selling a ton of books is fantastic, yes, but it really helps in the long run to be modeled. I know authors with good books under their belts and still aren't modeled for any. Modeled books are books that we are required to have in the store. A title can be modeled for anywhere from 1 to more books (large numbers do not happen often, but I've seen it. Tucker Max is a good example with his staggering 10). Once we sell a book, the system automatically orders another to replace it. Being modeled ensures you have a place in the store at almost all times. You are now backlist. If you're a new author, I consider you damn lucky to get your book modeled.

Non-modeled: Obviously the opposite of modeled. If you have 3 books sent to the store and they all eventually sell, the system does not automatically order more. If it's in our warehouse, we can order it for people, but customers browsing are not going to see your book. It sucks to be non-modeled. It can also mean that even if we got your book in hardcover, we may not get it when it comes out in paperback or mass market. I don't know who the man behind the curtain is when it comes to getting books modeled, but my advice? Make sure your book f$#!%ing sells.

Mass Market: I decided to throw this in here at the last moment, although if you're a writer and you don't know what a mass market is, you need to do your damn homework. Hardcover and paperback are pretty self-explanatory. Mass market books are paperback, true, but they're the smallest version. That $5.99-$9.99 book you bought because it was the cheapest. Hardcover sales are nice, but most of your sales are going to be made in mass market. Important to note is that if a MM doesn't sell and ends up on the returns list, 99.99% of the time it will be stripped (the cover ripped off) and recycled. Covers are sent to publishers for credit. Yeah. We just threw your book away so it can be made into someone else's book.

**Note: Stripping books is traumatizing the first time you do it. It feels sacrilegious, and I actually winced the first time. Eventually there are so many you get desensitized. I can now strip books like a machine and only give the occasional, "Aw, bummer" thought to a few books before doing them in.

So there you have it. A quick compendium of bookselling terms. Enjoy the knowledge because it's time for me to go to bed.

And high-five for Banjo-Kazooie music on YouTube.

The Joy of Seeing AW Authors

2010-08-10T19:33:00.002-05:00

AW is a beautiful thing. No, not the root beer (though that's pretty nice too), but Absolute Write. More specifically, the forums. I joined those forums back in 2009 and have had a grand time in them, learning things, helping other authors, and screwing around when I should be working.

But one of the coolest things is seeing those books "In the Wild" (as Medievalist put it). All these people, these authors, put in time at AW, but they really do know what they're talking about because they've been published. They're out there. On the shelves. And while some other AW members may never get the chance to spot them (which is kind of hard considering the number of books we get in for some of these guys for promotions and frontlist), they do exist.

But it's one thing to be strolling in the store and seeing a title at random. It's another to work in the store and see these titles on a daily basis. I've seen books slid across the cash counter at me for purchase. I've been unpacking titles to see a fresh stack of frontlist ready to go out and be faced out. It's just plain fun, and here are some of the titles I've sold, unpacked, put away, or even bought myself while at work.

Jill Myles. I first discovered her at AW, got very intrigued by the cover of Gentlemen Prefer Succubi (and honestly, it's not often a hot guy on a cover gets me interested, mostly because there are so many of them), went to her website, and read the first chapter. Aaand hooked. I promptly went out and bought it. Then I later went back and bought Succubi Like It Hot. I fully intend to buy her next one. But it's good to know that since I took both of those out of the store, a few more would be ordered to come in to replace them in the hopes of more sales. Win-win for everyone involved.

Touched by an Alien by Gini Koch. I see this one all the time. Or at least, it seems like it. All our SF, mystery, and romance titles that are frontlist are faced out. People get to go ahead and judge books by their covers this way. But hey, it's more exposure (at least until we run out of room. Sorry). But this one has been on our frontlist shelf for a while, and I smirk a little smirk every time I see it, hoping that Gini's going to get some royalty checks off this one. I'll be keeping an eye out for her next book in December. The fact that there's an alligator on the cover makes it automatically awesome.

Red Hot Fury by Kasey Mackenzie had her very own display for a while. And I do mean display. She's not sitting among all the other frontlist books. Instead, her Fury rested in a cardboard dump (ok, the official name is "corrugated display" but don't worry, "dump" isn't derogatory) with a big sign above it and those green eyes staring out at every customer that walked past. I've walked past one day and seen several books in the notches, another day and a few are missing. I've been checking people out and had this one come at me from the other side of the counter to ring up. She's out in front, and it looks like it's working. Hey, read the back of the book and tell me it doesn't sound intriging.

Unholy Magic and Unholy Ghosts by Stacia Kane. But for some reason, I keep thinking it's Stacey or Stacy Kane. No idea why. But forget about my lapse in brain power. She's been sitting pretty with both books on the frontlist shelves, faced out so everyone can see her. In fact. I kept seeing Unholy Ghosts so many times I finally had to pick it up and see just what it was about. Then I did the same with Unholy Magic. The last time I looked, she made it to what we call the "Triangle." Basically, a triangle-shaped tower o'mass market books. High five for promotions.

Lottery by Patricia Wood. I cannot for the life of me remember if she made it to the backlist area or not, but I'm leaning toward yes. Backlist, for those that don't know, means that we're pretty much supposed to have your book in the store. We may be required to have 1, or we may be required to have 10 (rare, but ohyeah, it happens). I know she's out there in my store though. That's because I unpacked her just the other day. Filling in for our receiving manager, I get to unload boxes and then set books in the proper places in the back so they can go out the next day (or that same day, depending). And I remember seeing this in the box, pulling it out, and laughing to myself as I thought, "Way to go Patricia, you made it."

Dark and Stormy Knights edited by P.N. Elrod. Multiple authors here since it's an anthology, so I'm honestly not sure which one is the AW writer. What I do know is that we have a whole truckload of these sitting on a cart in the back, waiting to go out for a promotion. I'm guessing the "New Arrivals" table. I haven't been in the last two days, but I'm sure it's out there now and people are plucking it off the table left and right. Urban fantasy is hot right now, in case you haven't heard.

Sleepless by Cyn Balog. I honestly don't remember what I was doing to discover Ms. Balog. All I know is that I ended up on her site, read the blurb for this book, and decided I had to read it. That was at least 4 months (maybe more?) before it was finally available. Now that it is, I mean to read it since it's there...sitting in our store...right there in the teens section where I can see it. And now that I think about it, why on earth isn't this book in our frontlist section? I'll have to remedy that the next time I'm in the store... (Edit: I scanned this today - 11th - and discovered it was supposed to be on an endcap. The endcap doesn't exist, but a table did. These are now on the table. :D)

Four World Film Reviews by Benj Clews and Michael Onesi. Not sure if one or both are involved in AW, but hey, I've seen their book in the store and that's what counts. I finally spotted this one in section while putting away some other film review books, and then spotted it again on an endcap (display at the end of an isle) on my way back to Info. Lucky, lucky. Seems like everyone's on promotion these days.

Kelly Meding. I think these recently popped into the triangle. In fact, I just walked past them the other day and thought, "There it is!" since I knew these books were out in the store somewhere. They were right underneath Stacia Kane's books. It's great when you get one book in a triangle or tower; it's better when they both make it there.

It doesn't matter that I don't know any of these authors personally. The only interaction I've ever had was with Jill and on a teeny-tiny scale. Still, I've seen them commenting on AW, even in threads I've commented in, so they're not just far off authors the way others like Stephen King and James Patterson seem. They're regular Joes and Janes, still working hard at perfecting their craft, and some of the few that can happily help others and revel in their published status.

Here's hoping I can join them someday.

The Death of Music

2010-08-06T16:50:00.006-05:00

I love killing a song.

Ok. That sounded a little overly dramatic. The title is a little overly dramatic, for that matter. But here's what I'm talking about.

I'm one of those people who loves to write with music. Not all the time, mind you, but often enough. I'm particularly fond of soundtracks (trust me, I've reviewed over 70 of them and can name a composer within a few minutes of listening to his/her style). But there are times when you hit that one scene, that one sweet scene where a song goes perfectly and the only way to keep that delicious writing vibe going is to play that song.

Over.

And over.

And over. Andoverandoverandoverandover.

Until finally you've reached the end of that sweeet scene and WHEW! You're done. You sit back and finally hit the stop button on your CD/MP3 player. And you have effectively killed that song.
You've killed it because you've just listened to it about 20 (maybe more) times in a row. Songs can be killed on the radio too. You've probably had it happen before. Everyone and their grandma thinks that "Super Awesome Song" is so great the radio plays it every hour, on the hour, until you want to tear your hair out or go on a bloody rampage down at the radio station. They did it with "One Sweet Day." They did it with "Lady Marmalade."

But you, ah, you've killed it for a purpose, like a caveman skinning a wooly mammoth, you used it's inspiration and sucked it dry. Yum-o.

And it is a beautiful thing. Completely indulging in that song as you write, one with your muse, swimming in those golden notes like it'll never end. Except it does.

The problem with killing a song is that, well, you've killed it. Listening to it again, it doesn't have that same punch it had the first time around. It's not as magical, not as strong, and - let's face it - you've already heard it a gazillion times.

I love those moments of pure inspirational writing bliss with Hans Zimmer blaring in my ears or the pure beauty of Lifescapes floating around the room. I bless the person who came up with the one song repeat button. I rock out to a chunk of soundtrack or a handful of really wicked melodies. I've taken out entire CDs this way. I've done love scenes, fight scenes, flight scenes, character themes, chase scenes, travel scenes, and credits. I've killed songs and not listened to them for years until randomly one day I hear one and it reanimates itself for a brief moment while I relive the joy of that particular scene before it goes away again.

I would now like to take the time to dedicate a moment of silence and respect to those songs I have totally killed:

R.I.P.

Hybrid Theory Album (a few survived, but not many), and most of Meteora Album by Linkin Park

"The Battle" and "Barbarian Horde" by Hans Zimmer, Gladiator Soundtrack

"Rollin'" (both versions) by Limp Bizkit, Chocolate Starfish and the Hotdog Flavored Water Album

Braveheart Album by James Horner (particularly "The Princess Pleads for Wallace's Life")

"Haunted" by Poe, Haunted Album

"Kryptonite" by Three Doors Down, The Better Life Album

"Backwards" by Apartment 26, Mission Impossible II Soundtrack

Most of the Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack by Howard Shore (particularly "The Bridge of Khazad Dûm")

Most of the Transformers score by Steve Jablonsky (though it's still got some heartbeats left)

"Don't Hold Back" by The Potbelleez

"I Don't Care" by Apocalyptica

"Man on Fire (remix)," "The End Music" by Harry Gregson-Williams, Man on Fire soundtrack

"Savin' Me" by Nickelback, All the Right Reasons Album

"Angels," "Stand My Ground" by Within Temptation, Silent Force Album

"The Cross," "What Have You Done" by Within Temptation, The Heart of Everything Album

There are more songs on their way, it's just a matter of time:

"Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga, The Fame Monster Album

"Black Roses Red" by Alana Grace

"Invincible" by Adelita's Way, Adelita's Way Album

"Follow Me Down" by 3OH! and Neon Hitch, Alice in Wonderland Soundtrack

and many more!

So if you're with me, rejoice in killing songs because hey, you sure do get a lot out of it, don't you? And it is fun hearing them in almost their full glory, an echo of what they used to be, years on down the road.

One day, the music just...stops.

Query Letter Hell

2010-07-21T10:55:00.002-05:00

I am indeed in query letter hell.

In both senses of the word.

Several times now, my query letter has floated around in the forums at Absolute Write. Several times now, it's been dissected into small pieces. Which is what I want, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't post it there.

Except I can't seem to make it better.

For some bizarre reason, I'm fighting an uphill battle with this particular query letter. I've written at least one query letter before, and while that doesn't make me an expert on writing them, that one got me several agent nibbles at least - one of them was the third agent I queried and would love nothing more than to work with.

So what the heck is going on with this one?

I can't seem to hit the nail on the head when it comes to voice. I'm incapacitated in some way when it comes to conveying the ideas I want to convey (or think I need to convey). Maybe I should go shorter. I don't know. I've written, rewritten, rearranged and added, reorganized and changed, rewritten, and more.

When I thought perhaps I'd reached a happy(ish) place, I sent the query to a very small number of agents. As if the cosmic universe were paying attention, one agent responded - and actually commented on the letter, stating that perhaps if it were just a bit stronger, she might have asked for material.

Well hot diggity dog - a real live agent response with advice! I promptly thanked her. I mean really, you can't ask for much more than that when all you've sent off to an agent is your query. Unless, of course, the agent puts that in all the form e-rejections...but I doubt it. That doesn't make much sense since some queries (as we all know) can be downright frightening.

Whatever the case, I took it as a sign that I need to work harder. Which sucks since I'm ready to tear this (and every) query into tiny little pieces while horns pop out of my head and flames appear in my eyes. Despite said demonic feeling, instead of doing freelance work like I'd ordered myself to do earlier, I ended up working on yet another query. One completely different from any of the others I'd written. I'll see how that flies over in Query Letter Hell.

And until I get one that functions, I'll continue to stew in Query Letter Hell.

But I'm getting to the point where I really, really hate queries and their whole existence.

DAMN YOU, QUERY!

Let's Talk About Love

2010-07-01T11:55:00.011-05:00

Normally I don't put this sort of thing out there, but I was thinking about it last night and found it rather interesting. I often leave my characters behind their closed doors, and hardly ever put them in a blog, but once I get something in my brain, I think about it until I can get it out somewhere (which is why I wish Pensieves were real).

I have several different books and several different couples in them. It's interesting to see when those couples finally get together. Each one is, well, different. Whether they're hooking up for the first time or just lying together in bed, no one is the same. I'd thought long ago about how they would sleep together (spooning, separate, etc.) but it was just last night when I realized how different their first sexual encounters are. Ok, let me add that this is a really weird thing for me to talk about. Haha. Normally my characters hook up off screen, but the last two stories I've worked on, it's going to be on screen. And after all, they're characters, so who the hell cares?

So I thought I'd sort of map it out. Put my couples here and list their, er, style and then sleeping preference. Don't freak out, there's not going to be any detail. In fact, I'm not even going to bother with full names and just use first initials. Think of it like an anthropological study.

K♀ & A♂: Sex: Missionary. K is a very dominant guy and prefers dominant positions. Besides, they allow him to watch his and A's backs for danger. He's kind of paranoid like that. Sleep: K likes to sleep with his head on A's tummy, his arms wrapped around her.

E♀ & M♂: Sex: Probably missionary. I say probably because these two started out married, and any intimate stuff is off stage. However, E's a versatile guy and always happy to please, so if M ever asked for something different, he'd give over in a second. Sleep: These two tend to spoon with E's arms around M since he's just as protective as K up there and cut from the same cloth.

W♀ & T♂: Sex: Lap dance. Actually, these two don't do this until after the book, and I haven't thought about them in a long time. Yet somehow this seems like the right position for them to be in. Expect serious eye contact. Sleep: W sleeps on his back while T snuggles up next to him, almost on his chest.

V♀ & A♂: Sex: Woman-on-Top. As K's daughter, she has a dominant streak, not that this is anything creepy. And she's more than willing to switch from time to time. Sleep: These two totally snuggle together, all tangled up.

D♀ & A♂: Sex: Missionary. These two really wanted to hook up and this was the easiest and fastest position. Sleep: Close, facing each other, hands together. D likes A to be the first thing he sees when he wakes up. It helps remind him that she's still there with him.

L♀ & G♂: Sex: Missionary to Woman-on-Top. These two have a 2-round session their first time together since they're making up for lost time. The first part is tender while the second is G wanting her have her way just right with L. Sleep: I haven't actually thought of this because they pretty much went straight from sex to continuing their journey and don't get a normal sleep together until the book is done...

W♀ & C♂: Sex: Sort of halfway between Doggie Style and Reverse Cowgirl. Both of them were kneeling and W had his arms around C the entire time. This, actually, was my first on screen sex scene. It might also make you snicker if you knew W's origins. Sleep: Any number of ways, though W usually has at least one arm around her at all times.

I do have a few other couples, but I've never thought about their specific hookup moments or after-the-moment sleep. However, seeing all this variety makes me happy because it shows I don't have the same thing going on all the time. I feel that's important -especially if it's going to be on screen. That way your readers don't get bored. And we all know a great way to keep a marriage going is to keep the sex life spicy! Funny though, since I'm not married. Haha.

Oh, and in case you haven't heard, e-reader prices are down significantly, Kindle to $189 and Nook to $149 (unless you want 3G service included, then it's $199).

Starving Artist (Ur Doin It Right)

2010-06-12T15:51:00.007-05:00

I never expected to have even as many followers as I do, though now that it's happened I feel rather like I ought to post more. The problem is that I don't always have something of value to post. But ironically, as I was thinking that I had a thought pop into my head from something I'd just read off Nathan Bransford's latest post and thought perhaps it might be time for a rant directed at the people who purchase books. True, those who follow this blog are pretty much all writers or at the very least interested in the writing business (I assume anyway), but who knows, maybe this post will escape and ring in a few people's heads.

The issue today is a simple one; money.

Though I guess technically money isn't very simple, what with all the channels and contracts, and middlemen it has to travel through in order to get from anyone's hands to someone else's hands. But setting that aside for a moment, this post is directed at readers who constantly complain about the price of a book.

I think this is due in large part to the fact that they completely forget (if they ever realized) how much of a process and how (often) writing a book can be a pain in the ass. Yes, we do it because we love it and yes, we do it because we want to give you a bit of joy and entertainment and God yes, we want you to come back clamoring for more, but let's say on average (and that's stretching it I think), it takes an author a year to crank out a book. Have you ever taken the time to look at a book? And I mean really look. Look at those 318 pages of words, thoughts, people talking, description, action, stuff that makes you sit on the edge of your seat, stuff that makes you laugh out loud, stuff that in rare cases may even make you cry.

One person is doing all that. And it's not easy.

As F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, "Writers aren't exactly people...they're a whole lot of people trying to be one person." In a way, we're almost like people who have personality disorders kept in serious check. We're crazy under control. We have hundreds of people running around in our heads, but we know how to handle them. All right, I'm exaggerating, but you get the point. It's a lot of work to write a book. And the thing that gets me is that people are always amazed when they hear you write. It's always a comment akin to, "Wow, I could never do that!"

And yet many of these same people will balk at spending $27 a newly released hardcover. Or they want a discount on a mass market paperback that's already $6.99. I know you want to save money. I do, I really do. Heck, I'll even wait until my employee discount at B&N kicks in before going on a crazy buying spree (ok, most of the time). But why are you complaining in the first place? Because you forgot all the work that went into the book, that's why. Because you're holding the finished product in your hands. You never see the two, three, sometimes more drafts that a writer goes through. All the ink, all the paper, all the time with their butt stuck to a chair while the sun shines outside and the dog wants to play ball but they can't because they've got a deadline to finish working on a book so the editor can go through it and it can get printed and you can read it.

And we get paid bunk. I don't know what people think - I don't know if they're under the assumption that the writer gets all $27 or what, but if that's what you think then you need to adjust you brain right now. We get paid a percentage of each book, and it's not even 50%. It's far from that. Heck, you're lucky if you can get 10%. That $6.99 paperback (or ebook now) has to get diviied up into a lot of smaller pie pieces. Why do you think writers have to keep writing? For the longest time, the average writer got 6% of the pie. Now here's some simple math for you:

Book cost $6.99 x 6% = $0.4194 earned per book
Say 20,000 copies sell = $8,388

And that's just royalties talking. And authors don't get royalties right away either. We have to make back our advance first. So the authors gets nothing on that $27 hardcover until the publisher gets all the advance money back. And if you think authors are getting $50,000 advances or even $25,000 advances every time, you are seriously mistaken and ought to do some research of your own.

In short, when you purchase a little paperback, you are paying that author maybe $0.50 for his or her year-long work. That's why I can't justify spending a ton of money on clothes when I know for a fact that $50 pair of jeans is put together on a big factory machine that takes a handful of minutes to spit out dozens of pairs. Put things in perspective for a moment, will you? Look at half the junk you own and tell yourself; did it take a year (or more) for this item to be created? A couch can cost $1,000 or more and put together in a factory where they crank out who knows how many similar couches a day? But people just think that because a book is smaller (or whatever it is in their mind) it deserves less worth.

While we all care about money (kinda need it to survive), the clothing maker doesn't give a crap about you. The couchmaker just hopes to sell more couches. The author created that story not just for him/herself, but for you. Because they knew (or at least hoped) that you would enjoy such a tale with unique characters and a story that gets your adrenaline going.

So the next time you start fussing about book prices, how about you take a moment and think about the author for once, hmm?

End rant.

This only happens in the fantasy (and maybe SF) genre.

The Deluge

2010-06-10T23:31:00.008-05:00

Granted, you have probably already read this over at Nathan Bransford's blog, or either straight from the Huffington Post, and I kind of hate to be a schmuck and just repost other people's stuff - but dangitall if it isn't a really good article that squelched even some of my fussing when it comes to ereaders. He makes several points, all of them good.

While I still maintain that people are going to think we're the techs that can fix their gadget problems or something else - at least for now (just yesterday I had a guy literally yelling in my ear over the phone about the audacity that he register his credit card to get an ebook), that's a different concept altogether.

Indeed, when we worry about all the "bad books" that can get into the book world, who hasn't read a craptastic book as it is? One of those books where you sit there with a horror-stricken look and say, "How the hell did this ever get published?" But Mr. Bransford is correct. There are so many out there now, how the heck will we ever truly know the difference?

(Still though, if silence is going to be the rejection, please let us know on your website beforehand so we don't bother you with follow-ups. =D)

Well, if you're going to get on board, choose your poison.

Pitching (Not the Baseball Kind)

2010-05-21T12:17:00.003-05:00

Luckily for writers, three strikes when pitching does not mean that we're out. It just means we need to seriously work on our pitching skills. And we're not throwing baseballs either. We're hurling a bunch of words at an agent or editor and hoping that we don't sound like total morons or end up blathering on and on or, on the other end of the spectrum, freezing up and forgetting what we wanted to say in the first place. So let's face it; we need help. Many of us don't really know what we're doing when we find ourselves face to face with people that can make our book a reality (as in bound pages and people paying to read it). We've heard plenty of "Don't do this" and "Don't do that" but has anyone written about what we should do?

Well, yeah. But you know what? Here's another post by Rachelle Gardner (an actual agent) about pitching that might help you the next time you find yourself at a conference with agents and editors all around you: Secrets of a Great Pitch.

While on the subject, I'd like to add a little something else. At the end of her post, Ms. Gardner informs us to remember that agents and editors are just regular people. I think one of the problems is that we already know this. Writers are fully aware that agents cook their own dinners and deal with crazy 5-year-olds and hate that gas prices are always going up. Just like the rest of us.

Now I don't know about anyone else, but for me, that's not why I'm nervous. I know you're a person. The deal is that you are a person who has the power to change my life. That's right. Like He-Man, You Have the POWER! *cue lightning and thunder* That's why agents and editors turn into, or are, such a big deal for us. They're the most important stepping stone (if you don't mind the comparison) toward getting on the bookstore shelves. We want to impress you. That's why we're terrified of screwing up. And the fact that you're a person means that you have your own tastes as well as professional ideas of what will and what won't sell. We worry you won't like what we've written even if we think it's the best dang thing since sliced bread. We worry you'll look at us like we're stupid for writing such a thing, and we've worked so hard to make the best manuscript possible, yet suddenly it's like we're in fifth grade again and have just done something to make the whole class laugh at us.

I might be getting a little over the top, but you get the idea. That's what freaks us out. It doesn't matter that you have to fix your sink like I do - it's the fact that you can either help make my dreams come true or tell me to shove off.

Now for the record, most agents aren't going to tell you to shove off. Horror stories aside, many agents totally understand how freaked we are and are willing to help us along when we spaz out. I once pitched to the editor of Del Rey, Betsy Mitchell, and was a total wreck. But she knew it. In fact, she knew we were all likely to be total wrecks, having never pitched before. But she was patient, understanding, and not at all rude (though I'm sure she had other things on her mind at the time).

In the end, we're going to have to ignore the gatekeeper/power thing and just focus on crafting a pitch that doesn't suck. Remembering that agents and editors are people can help, but you should also remember a few things about yourself as well; you've just written a book. An entire book. We, the authors, are the reasons that agents and editors exist. They know it - why else do you think they're looking for books to represent? They love books as much as we do, and thus have made it their livelihood (though in a different way). It's a symbiotic relationship - without one, the other cannot be. So buck up, stand tall, and pitch your little heart out. Even if the agent or editor isn't interested in your book, they'll at least appreciate your enthusiasm and confidence.

There's a story behind this, I just know it...

The Danger of Being a Writer

2010-04-21T10:00:00.001-05:00

I currently have 6 books in finished form (that is, at the very least I have their first draft done). Count 'em. 6. Out of those, only one book is revised and polished enough for me to query (which I am). The others all need to be revised, beta read, and revised some more.

It's quite pathetic, when you think about it.

Granted, not every would-be author can claim they've done 6 books, but I tend to finish a book and then get an idea and keep plowing right on into the next one. Sometimes I'll even interrupt a book in progress to write something else, which I have done. Twice. I often get ideas mid-book and want to go tackle them lest they get away. I know there are other authors out there with this particular little tweak. It's funny because people ask where we get our ideas. Sometimes we know, sometimes we don't, but in many ways it doesn't matter because the fact is that they just keep coming.

I have two books I really should be revising, one of them with a higher priority than the other. But I have yet to do so. I procrastinate, telling myself, "Oh, I don't have time" when I know that's a load of bull. I have the time. I just don't want to do it. I hate revising. I hate going through and fixing things. I think it's because I hate making mistakes. I hate seeing my screw-ups pointed out and all the places where people tell me I've got it wrong. I do appreciate the effort taken by my partners to look at my manuscript, to go through and edit it in order to help me become a better writer. I just hate having to revise my stuff once they're done.

So here I am, one book just a day or two of time shy of moving into query letter process, and I'm already considering new ideas. 1.) I shouldn't because I still have a book on hold (though admittedly, it's pissing me off). 2.) I can't help it because as many of you know, once an idea gets into your brain, muses like to prod and poke you about it until you get it down on paper or work it out or something.

I guess I shouldn't have gone to see Alice in Wonderland. But I did, and I loved it, and I loved the Hatter (who didn't?). And, all thanks to that movie and a great deal to the Hatter, I now have another idea niggling at the back of my mind. I've scribbled down some of it, but it's one of those ideas that wants to get bigger and bigger.

So I guess the real danger of being a writer is having too many ideas at once, or several books jostling for attention. Kind of a strange problem to have - even harder to imagine for non-writers - but still a problem nonetheless. In the end I'll just have to deal with it and roll the idea around in my head while forcing myself to make time for my other books.

I really wish pensieves were real...

Will you, won't you?

Post 100 - The Nook

2010-04-15T10:12:00.002-05:00

Originally for my 100th post I was going to do a nice long piece about Seton Hill University where I got my MA. After all, I'm forever referring to it, the mentors there, and have lists along the side of links to Seton Hill people.

But I decided that might take some time and instead have opted for a different route, one involving e-readers in a post that I haven't seen anywhere else, regarding a matter that I'm not sure anyone has considered yet.

Selling an e-reader in a bookstore and how that changes things (in a not-so-good way).

I wanted to work for Barnes & Noble because I love books. I love to play with them. I even love the smell of the store when I walk in, working day or no. And one of the things I knew I could count on was catering to a better clientele than in other retail locations like sporting goods or clothing (trust me, I've done both). Sure, on occasion you get a fussy customer or even a really unhappy one, but they're few and far between when compared to the rest of the retail world. Why do you think every B&N store has a huge backlog of applications?

But getting to the point. Just yesterday a woman comes in. Her Nook (the B&N e-reader to rival the Kindle, in case you didn't know) won't turn on. Now, I'm not a total idiot when it comes to gadgets. I'm fact, I'm pretty friggin' tech savvy. But I don't own a Nook. I work part-time and freelance wherever possible and barely make enough to cover my expenses - you think I'm going to shell out $259 for any e-reader? Especially when, even with my discount, I only buy maybe a total of 5 books a year? The company certainly isn't going to give out Nooks to all its employees (just the district managers...or store managers? I don't remember). The simple fact is that I know perhaps 1% about the Nook. We haven't been schooled in Nook technology yet. This may not be true for all B&N stores, but it is for us. We only recently got our little front store Nook nook set up.

Basically what happened was this: The woman's Nook refused to turn on. She maintained that it was charged. None of us knew what its deal was. So we told her to call the help hotline on the Nook package. Of course this is too much for her. She hemmed and hawed about how if it was a quality product we should stand behind it and be able to take care of such things in the store. As always, we were polite and explained that we weren't tech savvy just yet on the Nook (as evidenced by our not-yet-functioning Nook nook) since it's still relatively new, etc. Naturally she wasn't satisfied and left all huffy.

Fine, we get people like that all the time even on books. My complaint isn't about her. My worry is that we'll get more people like her. The issue is that we'll go from booksellers to tech people. And we're not tech people. None of us (save the store manager) owns a Nook. We don't know what all their potential problems are. We can't fix them for you. We don't have the know-how and we certainly don't have all the tools and toys to open it up and check it out. People, as a whole, get a lot more frustrated and - in a word - bitchy about electronics than they do about books. Myself included (just not to any employees because I know better). Even after the woman left, I later had a man come up and ask me all sorts of questions about the Nook and I could only answer a handful of them, which was also frustrating to me because I like helping people.

True, I'm sure they'll school us employees on Nook functions soon, but the fact remains: We are still going to be booksellers. We are not going to be tech support. Yet I am willing to put money down that all sorts of people who own Nooks will mosey into the store and expect us to fix it. In fact, I don't even think our Nook nook is meant to fix things; I think it's just a kiosk to help push the product. In which case people coming up to the desk expecting the poor soul behind it to fix their jacked up Nook will get all pissy when the person can't. People are impatient. They don't want to call a help hotline and tinker with their own product. They don't want to have to send it anywhere and then wait for it to get sent back. They want it fixed now.

They'll want us to be the Geek Squad of the Nook. And we're not.

Will the clientele for the Nook be different than typical book shoppers you might ask? Yes. E-reader owners don't have to go to bookstores to get their books. They won't be browsers who mosey through the store and ask or give book suggestions. They'll just come in when they want us to fix something. Granted, that won't be every e-reader owner, so I'm not assuming that just because you own an e-reader you suck at life. But anyone with a brain knows there's a difference between the atmosphere in B&N (or even Borders) and the atmosphere at the Geek Squad table at Best Buy (no offense Best Buy - I like your tech guys and applaud them for their skills. I've even used them a few times when my computer has gone beyond me).

Maybe someday in the future all new hires will be required to understand the Nook inside and out. But I think that day is far ahead. For now, if you have a Nook and it's broken, we can't fix it. Don't be a jerk about it. Going on a tirade won't help. I work at a bookstore because I love books and I love the people that love books. If I wanted to work in tech support I'd be at Best Buy or somewhere else. Amazon is lucky they're online only - people with Kindles have no choice but to call or email. Even then, guess who they talk to? Someone specifically trained to handle fixes for the Kindle.

Here we go...

P.S. I don't actually think it's called a Nook "nook," but I just found it amusing.

The Infamous "Glance"

2010-02-17T17:18:00.004-06:00

On that last post, someone left a comment wondering just how exactly people could misuse certain words - namely the words that Tim often rants about.

While I can't recall Tim's rant about "hopefully" and "nauseous," I do know his rant about "glance." I remember this one because I frequently misused it. The funny thing was, I knew what glance meant. Even when I used it incorrectly. But I still did it. However, after Tim's reminder, I thought perhaps I ought to start using "glance" as it is supposed to be used and finding other ways of either eliminating other words like "look" or finding alternate things to do.

So what's the deal with glance?

If you go back and look up the definition of glance, you'll find that it is NOT the same thing as look. A glance is fast. It is brief. You can only glean so many details and bits of information when you glance at something. If you glance at your mom, sure you might notice that her shirt is red, but you're not going to be able to see the fine lines around her eyes or what type of fabric the shirt is made of. Yet in writing, people (myself included at one point in time) often use glance the same as they would look. A character glances at another character and mentions so many details, it is impossible that they would have noticed so much had they truly glanced at that character.

I'd like to add that a glance over the shoulder will tell you even less. Glance over your shoulder right now and see what you can really distinguish. When I do it, I can see that there's a door behind me and that there is snow on the ground outside. You simply don't see very well unless you actually turn your body a little. That doesn't mean you have to mention your character turning (God forbid - look out for stage directions!) or something like that, but whenever characters glance over their shoulders, they often see sad looks on other character's faces and so forth when you wouldn't unless you had eyes like Superman.

So it's just something to remember when writing that your character glanced at so-and-so. Make it a real glance, not a look. And another thing to keep in mind; pay attention to how much looking your characters do. Chances are, if someone is talking, readers will automatically assume the character will look at the speaker without the writer mentioning it. This actually makes me want to talk about stage directions, but I think that's enough for now.

I see you...(because I'm not glancing)

Contender for the Most Misused Word in the English Language

2010-02-14T00:06:00.002-06:00

I was thinking I should post something useful, seeing as I now have followers - a strange, yet fun fact - and what better to put up than something from the one and only Tim Esaias.

Now, I realize that most (or all) of you won't have any idea of who Tim is. I really ought to put up a post about Seton Hill since I often refer to it but never fully explain what it is. I'll make a note of that. Until then, Tim teaches there, offering up his tidbits of wisdom and showing many of us the joys of weaponry, fortifications, and what we really ought to keep out of our novels and writing work in general. He's got some of the best ideas I've heard in....well, since I started writing, actually. There are several items Tim takes issue with; smiling, nodding, moon phases in fantasy worlds, stage directions, and the grimace (a word I think I've only used once in my entire writing career...if you can call it a career anyway).

But today I'd like to share with you one of Tim's posts on the Seton Hill message board concerning one particular word: prodigal.

Prodigal.

It's true that glance is horribly misused, and used more commonly. And there're nauseous and hopefully as major rivals. But it would be hard to equal the percentage of misuse this word gets.

The word is so commonly misused, that the best strategy for a writer is never to use it. The audience won't know what you mean by it, so what's the point?

It means spendthrift. It does NOT mean went away for a while.

The reason that most people don't know the correct meaning is that they run across this word in just two confusing contexts: the parable of the Prodigal Son, and the expression "the Prodigal returns."

In the parable the elder son takes his inheritance in cash, goes away from home, and BLOWS IT ALL. It's the blowing the money that makes him prodigal. He returns because he's flat broke. The phrase is a reference to this event in the parable: the return and the father killing the best herd animal to greet him, despite his being a spendthrift.

This reader/copyeditor is sick to death of people using this word incorrectly. He would also like to protect his friends, colleagues and students from appearing to be culturally ignorant, not to mention semi-illiterate, hence this brief note.

It is true that one dictionary company has decided to enshrine American ignorance by accepting the incorrect definition, based on common misuse. It is also true that ignorance is one of the engines of linguistic change. That does not mean, this writer feels, that embracing ignorance is a virtue. He treats that idea with scorn; spurns it with his heel; and shakes from his sandals the dust of any city which accepts it.

Here endeth the rant.

Personally, I only feel a little stupid. I've never used the word "prodigal" in any of my writings, so I've never had the chance to misuse it. However, I thought it meant something completely different from both of these (wrong and right) definitions.

At least now I know better.

I also miss my access to the OED online.

"Oh father, I've returned! ...Can I get another $200?"

Clash of the Titans

2010-02-05T15:18:00.008-06:00

In case you haven't heard yet (and if you're an author, you should have), there's a nasty little tiff going on between Amazon and Macmillan. Basically it's a price thing. I mean, isn't it always? Always about money.

But I thought perhaps I'd give a shoutout to the BookEnds blog, because Jessica Faust speaks of how the author pretty much always gets left behind in issues like this, how it sucks, and how it's not fair.

Also be sure to pop on over to PubRants to see a letter from John Sargent.

But if you want to hear an uplifting post - at least, about ebooks - then Nathan Bransford's blog is the place to be. (not sure I agree about all of that, but I like that he's gung-ho about things)

Choose your destiny.

Hook First - Then Line and Sinker

2010-01-26T15:24:00.010-06:00

Sometimes you find nuggets of joy on AW, so when I found this blog, I decided to join in on the fun to see how my first paragraph would fare in their contest. I didn't win, but I got a healthy amount of votes that (if I remember right) landed me third place in that particular group. Yay.

One commenter hoped that I might enlighten them as to what is going on to create such a first paragraph/line, and I figured I'd share. After all, why not? I've already delivered Lucan upon a bunch of you guys, so the opening of Illusion's Trick is no big deal, especially since it is in need of some major repairs, and not much of this may survive. I even edited what you'll read below because I couldn't stand putting up the original version. I agree with several commenters that the first line isn't *quite* right, though whether it's because of "while" instead of "when" or something else, I'm still not sure, so I've just left it intact for now until I figure out what I want to do with it.

Anywho, this is where the first line leads, and if I had more "oomf" in me today, I'd supply a fast synopsis/pitch, but I don't remember where I scribbled it down. Oh well.

When other girls at the ages of five and six dreamed of being rescued from high towers by knights in shining armor, I dreamed of being kidnapped.

Sorry, before I give the wrong impression, let me qualify that. Yes, I did dream about being kidnapped, but not in the typical sense. I didn’t imagine strange people snatching me as I walked home from school or getting dragged off into a dark van or any equally disturbing scenario. I loved my family (and still do). The idea of running away into the real world scared me. No, I just thought it would be fun to be whisked away into a fantasy land. I dreamed that somewhere, somehow, a prince from a distant land completely unconnected to ours saw me and became so enamored he ordered his men to carry me away.

And they did.

And by the way, for those of you coming in from the first line contest (if anyone is), the boy eventually reappears much later when the girl here (Gabrielle) is grown. His name is Lucan, and you can read a juicy tidbit involving these two which was my post for the No Kiss Blogfest.

Hades and Persephone ~ View this in full here and check out Sandara's other amazing works. (Lucan isn't this dark, I just tend to associate him and Gabrielle as opposites attracting...deliciously.)

1st Draft: Finished

2010-01-19T20:19:00.007-06:00

The completion of a first draft is at once a triumph and a depressing moment.

Sure, you've written those magical words - "The End" - and at the time they seem to tie up everything in the story into a neat little bow.

And yet, now that you've finished, you get to go back and look at all the glaring mistakes. All the things you did wrong. All those tiny plot pieces that need to be fixed. All. Those. Things. They're just sitting there, lurking, waiting, and you have to go back and look at them all and fix them and it seems like you're writing the damn thing all over again.

Ugh.

And then, of course, if you have a critique partner (or two or three), they get to point out all the screw ups you haven't seen. All the things your audience would see and wonder about (which is why you have the critique partners and betas in the first place). So you sit back and read their comments and get all pissed. Not because they're pointing out stuff, but because now you have to go back and fix it and you just want to be done already so you can start querying, and yet at the same time you know you can't because querying what you have now would just be like shooting yourself in the foot because no agent/editor in his/her right mind would take your book.

It's a prime headdesk moment.

I suppose I can't complain. It's just tiring. Yes, I've just finished a first draft (ok, I finished it yesterday), but now I have a list of things to do, a list I've been compiling that just seems to continue growing. And I don't want to go back and fix it. I'm tired. Again, for people who don't think writing is work, you can go $#!% off because it is, and I'm tired and I can't do it anymore. True, I shouldn't complain, being that this draft is a record breaking 3ish months for me (though honestly, I think if you condense the days I actually worked on it, it's more like 2 which is RIDICULOUS for me, but hey, that's what happens when a muse sits on your shoulders and doesn't. Leave. You. Alone.), but still.

Other writers understand, I'm sure. That moment where you've written so much for so long you can't write anymore lest you puke all over your manuscript or set it on fire or just yell, "I HATE YOU" at your computer screen. Yeah. I'm at that point now. Which is kind of depressing since I was having such a grand time with this story. But alas, now I see its flaws and it's bumming me out.

But hey, whatcha gonna do? (and yes, I will accept calling the Ghostbusters as an answer)

Until then, enjoy this interview with Jill Myles on writing sex scenes. I haven't read her book yet, but it's on my list.

Yep. That's me.

Dos and Don'ts (Mostly Don'ts)

2010-01-17T22:44:00.004-06:00

As a member of the Absolute Write Water Cooler (where I tend to go to procrastinate, so in hindsight, maybe joining wasn't such a great idea), I often mosey on over to more people's blogs. Often more than I would under normal circumstances. Procrastination. What can I say?

But I have found a few fun nuggets. The other day I found this by Kate Hart, aspiring YA writer, and it got me thinking about how I react to certain questions people put to me when I tell them I'm a writer. First off, do these. But that's pretty much after you're published, so those don't really apply to me (yet). For now, keep these in mind when it comes to questions not to ask:

"So what's the book is about?" Frankly, I hate this question. I'm willing to tell you what genre it is, and that's pretty much it. Summing up my book(s) to people on a constant basis ruffles my feathers. Mostly because I'm uncomfortable divulging summaries about works that are fantasy or SF since basically everyone asking me doesn't really read those genres. Likewise a lot of people that don't tend to think poorly of them, which leads into the next point.
"Are you seriously writing that?" Exactly what Kate said: Don't be condescending. Nothing sucks more than a person who disses on your book/genre/the fact that you call it work. I've been lucky in that I've only ever experienced one jackass who stated that he thought F/SF was lame and then for some bizarre reason proceeded to grill me about my book. I can't remember the last time I was that uncomfortable. And yes, writing a novel is a pain. You write over 70,000 words and see how easy it is. Just because we choose to do it and yes, it is fun sometimes, it doesn't mean it's all candy and roses. Why else do you think not everyone aspires to be an author?
"Can I read it?" I've actually let two people that have asked this question read my work. I trusted them for several reasons, 1.) I was in high school and they were good friends 2.) they weren't writers so they sure as hell weren't going to steal it 3.) the writing was far from being good enough anyway, 4.) it was all handwritten. These days, I again agree with Kate. Read my book when it's published, okay? I'd like to get paid for all my hard work too, you know.
"When will it be published?" I guess since I said you can't read it now, you want to know when you can. Look, if a person says, "I'm writing a book," please pay attention to verb tense. You took basic English in school right? You should know that "writing" means in the process of doing so. That means it's not finished. Only when you're told that the book is going to be published by so-and-so publisher can you ask for the date.
"When are you going on Oprah?" I thought this one was actually kind of funny. If anyone ever asked me that, I'd probably look at the person like he was a moron. Take a look at Oprah's book list and tell me when she's ever read a F/SF book. Either way, yeah, don't ask this because it's truly a stupid question. Oprah picks the books to read, not the other way around. And they're usually depressing or generally emo in some way.
"So will you be like [insert ultra-famous author here]?" No. Not unless I'm the next luckiest sonofabitch that walked the Earth. For some reason, people tend to think that just because a handful of authors make 6 figures (or more), the majority of authors do. In fact, the majority of authors DO NOT and have to bust ass to keep producing books for readers just to make a comfortable living. Hell, you're lucky if your book ends up as a modeled title (a certain number of books has to be in the store) at Barnes & Noble.
"Why don't you write about [subject in no way related/similar to what you're writing]?" Because I don't like it or I can't do it. Personally, I just can't do mystery and am awed by people who can come up with new scenarios as to why there's a dead body in the next room over and over and over again. By the way asker, you may be working in an office - why don't you work on a crab fishing boat instead, hmm?
"Is that sex scene autobiographical?" I laughed when I saw this one. I've never been asked this and though I might be a little "..Uuuh...." if I were, I could easily answer. NO. (I was watching you.)
"Do I get a free copy when it's published?" NO. GO BUY THE BOOK. I'm not a fan of this question, yet I hear it all the time, or I hear it in statement format, "I'd better get a copy when it's published!" Yeah, sure. I just took a year or longer to put this together, spent God knows how much on stamps and paper and ink and envelopes just to land an agent, waited another year or more for the agent to sell it, and another year or longer for it to actually come out in it's published form. I don't understand why people, even if only marginally acquainted with me feel they're entitled to free stuff. But I always smile and laugh and say, "Sure." (Though the real answer, again, is NO.)
"Why isn't it dedicated to me?" I've never had this question either, or any varation thereof, but I'd probably just look at the person as though he had issues. Don't be a greedy prick. Writers take inspiration and strength from all walks of life. And by the way, how do you know you're not in the dedications? And if you're not in the first book, how do you know you're not in the second? Either way, if you're not, then you obviously aren't special enough. Get over yourself.
"Is it any good?" Again, never had this question. Most of us writers tend to think it's good. We'll know the truth when we find an agent or editor. Until then, yes. And when it gets published, then yes. How the hell do we know what you'll think of it?
"Am I in it?" Kate said she hates this question. I got this all the time and it always made me laugh. I think I may have ranted about this question sometime in the past, actually. When you hear this question enough, then yes, it can get annoying. What people fail to consider though, is that you might be in the book. And you might be a character that dies. Eh? How about them apples? I use friends and create characters for them and once handed them out as Christmas gifts. Hell, I eventually wrote a book using all of them (needs revising). Generally speaking though, don't ask this because 99% of the time the answer is going to be a resounding NO. Even if the person you're asking dances around the question. They're dancing around it because the answer is either no, or they killed you (or just seriously f*cked you up).

Print this out writers, and pass it around to your friends and family. Maybe they'll never bother you about your writing again. Haha. And for non-writers, well, now you know better. ;D

WHOO HOO!

2010-01-14T15:28:00.007-06:00

War for the Oaks by Emma Bull

I won I won I won!!

Freaking A! Shara got 43 entries and used a randomizer website to pick two winners and joy of joys - one was mine! While I admit I've already read this book, I thought it would be oodles of fun to read again - especially now that it's got an updated cover. You know what this book kind of reminds me of? A little bit of fairy-tale goodness and Labyrinth all rolled up into a sheet of rockin' 80s music. Haha. That and I adored the phouka. He gave me a bit of inspiration for my current WIP,in fact. *yay!*

Man. I seem to be winning mail roulette a lot lately. All I need now is to win "steady job" roulette and I'll be good as gold. Until then, it's back to freelancing!

Shara's 2009 Top Ten GIVEAWAY!

2010-01-11T20:36:00.004-06:00

While at Seton Hill University to get my MA in Writing Popular Fiction, I met a girl by the name of Shara. An upbeat, outgoing person and a voracious reader, every year Shara does a giveaway from her Top Ten list.

That's right. You send her an email, and if you win you get a free book.

How awesome is that??

I thought I'd spread the word, as she encourages people to do. So go visit her site, poke around to see which book you wouldn't mind having on your shelf, and put your name in the hat. A few years back I won The Now Habit by Neil Fiore, so if you're wondering if this Shara person really does give away books, she does. Whee! I've already sent my entry in and have my fingers crossed!

Check out the GIVEAWAY: 2009 Top Ten List!

Be sure to act fast, because the giveaway ends January 13th!

Yay free books!

Research (and lots of it)

2010-01-08T14:21:00.006-06:00

I find myself more inclined to update this blog now that I have followers. Makes me feel special. Hah. One never really knows how many people may be reading their blog, but now I know that a few people do, and what better way to keep them around than by providing content to read? Granted, it may not be timely content, or always useful (as this is my writing blog and can be quite casual), but it's something to read nonetheless.

So the other day I was thinking about all the weird and seemingly random research I've had to do over the years for my writing. Put all together, it's just....weird. I mean, regularly a person wouldn't ever need or even desire to look up half this stuff, and yet when you become a writer, research is important, even necessary, no matter what you decide to write about. Some people may think that writers of fantasy or science fiction or even romance don't have to do research, but they couldn't be further from the truth (and we know it). So I've decided to compile a list of all the things I've researched (that I can remember), and while I'm at it, I encourage others to showcase their research as well, and maybe we'll remind people about all the work we put into our novels, no matter how ficiticious or ridiculous they may be.

Future weaponry (I intend to put a thank you to the FBI in that novel; thanks for not knocking down my door and arresting my ass for all the stuff I've looked up)
Different species of deer
Parthenogenesis
Poison plants (one of the reaons I'm itching to get my hands on Wicked Plants by Amy Stewart)
Weapons from past centuries (swords types, distance weapons, the effect of various weapon on various types of armor, metals, you name it)
Quantum Physics
Theoretical Physics (Michio Kaku is my hero)
Human biology
Medical advances and future ideas
Cell biology
Pathogens
Nanotechnology
Wolves
Castle fortifications
Fighting styles (using both my firsthand knowledge and examining other styles)
Clothing (time frames vary from medieval to possible future fabrics)
Hiking equipment (making sure they still make 'em like that)
Mythology (fairy rings, gods, legends, creatures, etc.)
Magical properties of items (flowers, stones, plants, etc.)
Languages
Rock climbing without present day equipment
Seafaring vessels

That's all I can think of right now, though I'm sure there are more things I've forgotten.

It can't be tiring sometimes, all that research. And let me say, science fiction is more of a pain in the ass than any other genre I've dabbled in. Especially when you get Earth involved.

Good reference books are priceless.

On the Red-Eye

2010-01-07T03:37:00.001-06:00

...You know you're having a good writing time when it's past 3:30 in the morning and your brain says, "You should go to bed now" and the rest of you says, "Yeah, but let me finish this scene first."

*plays some air guitar while I'm at it*

Heheh. Yeah.

Answer the Question!

2010-01-04T15:53:00.005-06:00

I discovered this on another writer's blog, and though I have no one to tag (yeah, it's one of those), I figured I'd do it anyway just for something fun. Enjoy, my nonexistent readers.

What's the last thing you wrote? What's the first thing you wrote that you still have?
Does it have to be completed? Because the last thing I wrote was a huge freaking chunk of what's temporarily called Kingdom of Red (kissing scene in the Dec. 21st post). As for the first thing I wrote that I still have, I honestly couldn't tell you because I've kept a LOT of my junk. I think I'll go with Book #4, which is actually a completed manuscript of 347 pages I wrote when I was in high school. I'm currently revising the hell out of it.

Write poetry?
Not as much as I used to.

Angsty poetry?
*snicker* Not as much as I used to.

Favorite genre of writing?
Fantasy. Always.

Most annoying character you've ever created?
To me or to the reader? I have a scientist named Renard who annoys the hell out of everyone, but I love him. ...I don't actually think I have any characters that annoy me personally...

Best plot you've ever created?
The whole storyline involving my evil, evil dragon. I mean, he is bad.

Coolest plot twist?
I actually have Hell rise up and basically kill everyone. The Apocalypse, only not what we here on Earth would have expected (as this takes place elsewhere before spilling over here). Maybe not really a plot twist, but it's certainly different from everything else that's happened to those poor characters!

Write fan fiction?
Just twice, when it's in my brain so much I need to get it out. Doctor Who and Pirates of the Caribbean. Otherwise I'll just dream the storyline away and be done with it.

Do you type or write by hand?
Both. I used to write by hand exclusively, but sometimes an idea barges in so violently that I can't write fast enough. Usually I can't think when typing a story (weird blockage of ideas...very strange), but if they're strong enough, then it works. Strange, I know, but that's how it works.

Do you save everything you write?
Yes...just in case. *shrug*

Do you ever go back to an idea after you've abandoned it?
Depends on the idea. Some stuff I write just for shits and giggles, so it's easy to abandon. Other things might come in handy. I have a few short stories that some might consider abandoned given the amount of time I've let them sit, but I think that if I just went back and altered some of them (a lot), they could be good enough to submit to places.

What's your favorite thing you've ever written?
Book #2. I have to revise it like nobody's business, but I still love it and it was a blast to write. Almost 500 pages in a year. Haha. Yeah, needs some work.

What's everyone elses favorite story that you've written?
I don't know. Not many people have read these things because they're all executed poorly in terms of writing style (POV, verb tense, adverbs, etc.). But at least everyone seems to enjoy my dragon. >=D

Ever written romance or angsty teen drama?
No angsty teen drama. I was able to avoid that crap in high school (more than others at least) so why revisit it? But romance, oh you betcha.

What's your favorite setting for your characters?
Any place other than Earth. Even my humans from Earth are never seen on it. HA!

How many writing projects do you have going right now?
I have one I'm submitting to every freakin' agent under the sun. I have two others I'm writing, and I've just started to revise an older one. But if you really wanted to get technical about it, the total would be seven (four need revising, I'm actually in the process of writing two, and I'm submitting the one). And that's if you don't count the others with large chunks done.

Have you ever won an award for your writing?
Does a scholarship count? If so, then yes, $500.

What are your five favorite words?
Gosh....I honestly don't know. Though I do like "glittering." I love the visual it evokes.

What character have you created that is most like you?
Caroline and Gabrielle....probably why those are the two written in first person.

Where you do get your ideas for your characters?
Oh geezo...everywhere. Friends, family, my crazed imagination, movies, music, and sometimes they evolve as they go.

Do you ever write based on your dreams?
Just once. A short story that may not be savagable in the end. Daydreams on the other hand, oh yes.

Do you favor happy endings?
Absolutely! Evil never wins in my books. Even if I have killed off the main characters in two books. But I often have a "bring-back-to-life" plan for certain occasions. Except for one of them...heh.

Does music help you write?
YES. Go take a look at my Epinions page and take note of how I've reviewed over 70 soundtracks and then you'll know just how important music is (and not always soundtracks either!)

Quote something you've written. Whatever pops in your head.
"Werbowski is in a fucking coma, Renard! He's got a good chance at being a goddamn vegetable for the rest of his life!" (Scott was so mad - I love it).

Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?
Yes for both, though I'm not perfect. I often forget commas between compound sentences using "and" and probably some other things grammar Nazis would get me on. Which is why I like grammar Nazis to look at my work from time to time.

Best mug ever. (mine)

The No Kiss Blogfest!

2010-01-02T10:30:00.006-06:00

Welcome back (if you visited the first time) - this time to the No Kiss Blogfest! Inspired by the previous Kissing Day Blogfest, we're now totally celebrating in the "almost kiss."

I almost posted this one last time, but wanted to do an actual kiss. Now I'm glad I did that, because now I get to post this one under a more appropriate blogfest - and it's one of my favorite parts of this particular WIP, Illusion's Trick.

Ladies, meet Lucan.

I exhaled a long breath. Relax. Nothing weird will happen this time. I closed my eyes and stood motionless beneath the hot shower spray.

As soon as I’d finished the thought, a pair of hands slipped around my waist.

I shrieked and stumbled around, pulling away and banging my shin into the faucet as I spun around to slam my back into the tile wall. He was here. In my shower. Standing quietly in the water and…ho…my God…he was naked.

He smiled, that slow, know-everything-about-me smile. “Hello again, Gabrielle.”

“Wha,” was all I could get out, a noise between a question and a shout.

He was…impressive. Lean with a musculature that spoke of strength and latent power like one of the mixed martial arts fighters I always watched on TV. A jagged, violent-looking scar ran around his side, slicing down from his ribs to curve over and end at his abdomen. Another cut down the inside of his right arm, from elbow to wrist, and another, thinner and more faded scar scored over his left bicep. I wondered what he’d done to receive them. A bit of mirth found its way into his smirk. At my expense, no doubt.

I straightened. I was naked, he was naked, but I refused to cower against the wall in my own shower. I couldn’t let myself feel like the only vulnerable one when we both wore the same thing—nothing.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded, trying to look at his face and not the rest of him.

“Don’t tell me you haven’t wanted me here,” he said, cocking his head ever so slightly.

The non-stranger, stranger in the shower scenario. God damn it. I managed to hold back the maniacal grin that threatened to appear. How could I have forgotten that one?

“I can’t just accept a strange man in my shower like this,” I said. Quite a pathetic statement, actually. While in my dreams it was partially true, I always acquiesced in the end. Now that it had become a lot more real, I wasn’t so sure it was a good idea.

“I’m not sure you have much choice at this point,” he said, watching me intently. What a gentleman—he had me naked and yet he kept his gaze on my face. An improvement for him, I decided.

“Or,” he continued, “I could wait until you’re finished and be the one to approach you then.”

“What? I don’t have any other shower fantasies.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he said. “I know for years you stepped out of here only to pretend you’ve stepped out of the rain onto the threshold of a strange house.”

I gaped at him. By God, he was right. I meant to speak, but only made a sort of choking sound. This guy knew everything! Even I’d forgotten that one!

“Damn,” I muttered, stuck between irritated and impressed. I shifted more toward irritated since I was starting to get cold. His highness had scared me into the corner and now took up most of the water. I began inching my way along the edge of the shower back into the spray.

“Well,” I said, trying to figure out how to convince him to move, “you could. It would be more polite.” Because then I’d at least have a towel.

Suddenly his hands slapped the tile on either side of me, trapping me against the wall. He leaned forward.

“I like this one better.”

His face was inches from mine and…was he moving closer? Shit. Not again. I tried to conjure up last night’s conversation, his smug grin, his underhanded comment about taking me without my immediate permission. It wasn’t working.

“I hate you,” I said, a lame attempt to rile him up enough to get him to back off. His lips brushed my temple.

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t lie to me,” he whispered.

In my mind I cursed to no end. I thought I’d managed to get over falling to pieces around him, but here I was, feeling weak and losing all resolve just like before. He did nothing more than trace the contours of my face with his mouth, lying in wait for some small signal from me to do more. I wanted to reach out and dig my nails into his back and drag him closer, wanted to feel him against me, to kiss him just to know what he tasted like. Instead, I kept my hands at my sides and scratched the tile, scraping a thin film of soap scum under my fingernails.

Mmm, tasty. This photo is property of Mercuralis. For heaven's sakes, if you want to see some super sweet art, check her out!

For the record...

2009-12-27T00:23:00.002-06:00

Writing sex scenes is a pain in the ass.

Join The No Kiss Blogfest!

2009-12-22T12:06:00.007-06:00

I should do this stuff more often. Yesterday I got the most comments in the history of this (or any that I've done) blog.

So that's why I'm joining in on the No Kiss Blogfest! Inspired by yesterday's Kissing Day Blogfest, Ms. Mallis over at Frankie Writes decided to go almost all the way with scenes that show not kissing, but the famous (or perhaps infamous?) "almost kiss."

Oooooh, can you feel the tension? I've got a good one planned, oh yes indeed. In fact, I got so excited about it, I actually have it set up already. It's just on automatic schedule thanks to Blogger, so once the date rolls around, at about 10:30ish am, it's going up!

So January 2, 2010, post your almost kiss and join in on the fun!

So close!

The Official Kissing Day Blogfest!

2009-12-21T11:44:00.008-06:00

I found this while reading through the daily Yahoo Groups email from my fellow WPF alumni, and though Kaye Ducas's blog, found out about the Official Kissing Day Blogfest as started by Sherrinda. So I decided to jump into the fun. Took me some time to finally pick something out, and as much as I wanted to post one particular scene from my WIP, it's just not done yet, so I can't. *sad* Instead, I decided to go with another scene from the same WIP that happens much earlier.

Remember kids, WIP. It ain't perfect.

And for the record, he's not a serial killer. It was just a massive misunderstanding, so don't worry.

“I am not going anywhere with you!” I jerked out of his grasp. “You are crazy! This isn’t normal! Any of it!”

“Look, I am the only one that can find that girl and if you want to find her too, then you’ll have to stick with me, do you understand that?”

“Oy! Who are you talking to out there?”

We froze. A few of the giants climbed to their feet while the others leaned over to look outside the cave.

“No one!” Wolf called. “Just, ah, my mate! We were both looking for the morsel, but we’re going now!”

“I think not. She sounds an awful lot like that scrap we caught earlier. Let’s see her.”

I stared at Wolf, petrified.

“No, no!” he yelled back, his hands on my shoulders. “She’s got this silly fear of giants, says they’re too big for her taste.”

“We insist.”

The command was low, dangerous. Wolf gave me a tiny nod and gently pulled me forward so the giants could see me. The one with the club grunted.

“Thought so. Why didn’t you tell us you was a she-wolf?”

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Wolf pinched me in my side.

“Oh!” I half-shouted. “I, um, was too scared.” I laughed weakly. “Concerned about my…food. At the time. Sorry.”

Their stony faces remained unconvinced.

“Show us your side then,” said one of the standing giants.

I gaped again. My side? What did that mean? My wolf side?

“You can’t,” Wolf said, his voice barely audible. “Run.”

They’ll just follow us. I racked my brain for an idea. I had no idea what they were looking for, but so far it didn’t sound much like humans were fond of wolves. Maybe…

“Well,” I spoke haltingly, “would a human woman do this?”

I looked up at Wolf and braced myself. Oh Caroline, you’ve gone off the deep end.

I grabbed his face and brought his mouth down on mine. He was surprised, but quickly recovered and put his arms around me, kissing me back and milking it for all it was worth.

This is so crazy. I’m kissing a possible serial killer. Ew. God where did I go wrong? This is so beyond screwed up...he tastes like berries and mint...

Finally I pulled away, collecting my bearings again. I’d just kissed a psycho who’d held a knife on me not so many hours earlier in order to stay away from giants. I wanted to move farther away, much farther away, but Wolf held me where I was, his forehead resting against mine looking for all the world like he’d just had the best day of his life.

Whoo hoo! Go mistletoe and kissing!

Yes? No?

2009-12-16T21:52:00.006-06:00

Sometimes I simply don't understand agents.

I don't get mad about it. Instead, I just chuckle to myself and shake my head. I mean, really, could they confuse us poor authors any more?

For those starting out trying to create the "perfect" query letter, it can take them a bit of time before they realize that it doesn't exist. Or...perhaps it does. You just have to craft it to suit each and every agent's individual needs. And just as agents often talk about how they have so little time to read the hundreds of query letters they get each day (and they do), so can most of us writers talk about how we have so little time to specially tailor a query letter to every agent.

Now that's not to belittle agents. Likewise, that's not to say that most of us don't often tweak a letter here and there to make it more suitable. No, what I'm talking about are broader ideas.

I found a great example today while searching for agents to query.

One agency states, right on it's front page in their tips for queries, "Don't try and sell your work; that's our job!" True enough, it is their job, and yet every single person I have ever talked about with on the subject of query letters is that you need to sell your novel. That's the whole point of the query letter, is it not? Make your work so irresistible that the agent has to bite?

Indeed, not long after visiting them, I found another agent with an entire 3-page file devoted to crafting a great query letter (or at least a better one) and on the second page in big, bold font it says, "How to use selling points in your query letter" and by that they mean "all the book's major selling points."

Ha. Now this is NOT to alienate any agents out there, and I am NOT trying to be rude or snarky or anything but, gosh guys.

Could you confuse us any more? ;)

You know, I don't think agents even know what makes up the ideal query letter...

The Evolution of Tension

2009-11-21T16:31:00.005-06:00

I like to put my characters in crappy situations. I love to hurt them, damage, them, and in general create chaos. A lot of writers do. Besides, how else are you going to get them to grow and change and make it so the readers care?

In 2007 when I was at Seton Hill University getting my Masters in popular fiction, Donald Maass, who owns the Donald Maass Literary Agency, graced us with his presence and discussed tension. Adding tension to the story in different ways. Constant tension. Tension in every line, if possible. Making scenes full of it. Now, this isn't the Michael Bay approach, that is to say, blow everything up with guns and car chases and big f-ing robots (though big f-ing robots are always cool), but just make it more....reader-hanging-on-your-every-word-ish.

I recently had a stroke of ridiculous inspiration (as most of my inspiration tends to be in some way ridiculous and I'm not sure why) and sat down at my computer to crank out about 100 pages in 4 (give or take) days. Now, as much as I'd like to press on, I'm going back to edit scenes that I've decided don't work and would be better off changing them now while the new ideas are fresh in my mind rather than later.

One of these scenes had to be entirely replaced. Why? No tension. A painful lack of tension, in fact. I wasn't happy writing it the first time, and that was just first draft, blow through it nonsense. So I sat back and considered how I wanted it to change. I had all the elements in my head, and after rearranging things a bit, I came up with a new scene, much more exciting, and fits better in the story.

Here's the original idea:

Hero and heroine need to find Character A, who has been caught by slave traders. The protagonists find the tent, go in after slight little hassle, only to find Character A has already been sold. Very little drama between protagonists and slave traders. Heroine is eventually convinced by Hero to purchase a slave, whom they free, and who I had no idea what to do with later in the story since it seemed completely stupid to have that moment and not use the freed slave later. I did have an idea, but it was so inconsequential and weak, I wasn't happy with it.

The new idea:

Heroine only goes into the tent after a slight hassle, as Character A has major issues with the Hero (believes he intends to kill her). Character A has not been sold off, and Heroine manages to buy her. Then Hero runs in to inform Heroine that Something Bad is on the way, causing Character A to freak out. In turn, slave traders freak out, and a less-than-organized fight ensues, which does not bode well for Heroine as she has no fighting skills at all. Character A runs from the tent and amidst confusion, Heroine frees bunches of slaves and Hero gets injured and a few people don't make it. Outside, Character A gets kidnapped by Something Bad, much to the dismay of Heroine and Hero. This also works better because Something Bad needed to pop up sooner, and this is the ideal place.

Much better. Ok, so I did go the Michael Bay way a bit, but there aren't any explosions or giant robots, so I'm kind of in the clear. Either way, it's a hell of a lot better than just having them go in there with no problems at all. It's actually less common to go the "no problem ensues" route, but that's basically because it's boring. Haha.

This is just one spot where things are improving. What I've added is also about the same size, if not slightly larger than the original section, so I haven't lost any pages in the process. In fact, after adding snipping and redoing this and other parts, the page number has become 110. Granted, there's still a lot of work to be done, but that's still around a 1/4 of a book. Awesome.

Oh, and here's the current count for any wondering:

Rejections: 22
Partial Requests: 3

Thanks for coming to Seton Hill, Mr. Maass!

The Price of Being Broke

2009-10-06T09:48:00.005-05:00

I'm broke. And yet I'm still sending materials to potential publishers. When I say I'm broke, I mean it, though I sort of mean it in a technical sense that my checking account really wouldn't have anything in it if I didn't keep removing money from my savings account, which is now 50% of what it used to be, much to my utter dismay. But what can I do? I'm trying to work on as many projects as possible. Luckily I have a big payday coming up due to all those projects. That'll help immensely.

So what is the price of everything?

#10 envelopes: $0.98

9x12 manilla envelopes: $1.97

Pack of 20 Forever stamps: $8.80

Printer paper: $3.88

Getting an agent to take on your manuscript: Priceless

Of course, that last part hasn't happened yet, so I'm still just burning cash. Whoohoo! But there's really no way around it. I still email agents if I can, unless it looks like snail mail would get a better response, though there isn't really a better response when it comes to rejection. Rejections are what they are no matter how you query. But if an agent will take pages through snail mail and just a query in email, then I'll opt to send them pages instead, just so they can at least see the work I'm presenting instead of having to guess whether or not they'd even want to look at it through the query letter.

Don't get me wrong - that makes it sound like my query letter isn't up to par, but considering I've had one agent comment on it as of late, and was asked to send a partial during my first round of querying, I must have done something right in it. Still, I'll opt for pages any day of the week.

So what's the current count you may wonder? I'm not sure if I ought to post this or not, but I doubt any agent is going to bother looking at my little bloggy and rejections don't necessarily mean anything (every author has rejections under his or her belt - even big names like J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, and a whole mess of others), so I will.

My current numbers are:

Rejections: 12
Partial Requests: 1
Acceptances: 0 (obviously)

Still combing through agents to decide who to send to and who might enjoy my work, etc. etc. It's a long road ahead though I'm sure. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Envelopes and papers and clips, oh my!

Haaaaa....or not.

2009-07-16T10:13:00.004-05:00

So I guess that will teach me to get excited when a place asks for pages. They said, "No thanks" two days later. Haaahahahaha.

In which case, don't expect to see a blog update every time someone asks for pages. The next time you'll see me stupidly excited is when someone asks for the full manuscript, and even then I might not say anything for fear of bringing up potentially false hope. Nothing is truly final until they say, "Yeah, we want to represent your stuff."

Woot.

In the meantime, I'm working on something new that I've probably mentioned before. Stuck under the 'paranormal romance' genre, Illusion's Trick is a nice changeup from the SF I've been battling with for the past two years-ish. I've got my little critique group all set up so I can get some good feedback. It's going to be a good time and here's hoping I can crank this baby out and start sending it to agents as well while the paranormal romance niche is still hot, hot, hot (because it is - no matter what you think of Romance, the truth is that it's pretty much the top-selling genre out there and they're not all bodice-ripping sex-taculars. Whatever you think about Romance, in fact, you're probably wrong.)

Yeah, I don't know.

Pages Please!

2009-07-11T17:55:00.005-05:00

During Residency at Seton Hill (a week long of fun in the sun...except you're inside at class all day. But at least you're learning about how to properly fortify a castle or trying to stay one baby step ahead of the market or hearing crazy conversations, often involving Dr. Arnzen), the editor-in-chief of Del Rey books was there to give advice, be on a panel, and hear novel pitches from Fantasy and Science Fiction writers...like me.

And by the way, before I continue, you've probably heard me mention Dr. Arnzen before, so let me clarify. Dr. Arnzen is just one of these professors that you would kill to have. *snicker* And if you did in fact kill someone to get a spot in his class, he'd probably ask you about it and then possibly tell you how you could have done it better. Hah.

Ok, back on topic.

So the pitch was the most nerve-wracking part of the entire residency (at least for me). Doing my oral defense (basically reading parts of my novel and then answering questions about it) was just fine and dandy. I was excited and got into it, as I'm sure anyone who attended could tell you. Hehe. Then there was the teaching component. Also not worried. In fact, I quite enjoyed that. I had a great time and could easily stretch one part of my little 50 minute lecture into a 3-hour module and have a great time doing it. (so Dr. Wendland and Dr. McClain, if you ever read this - the second I'm published, I'm all for joining the team). Anywho, my pitch was less than stellar (and I screwed up a second possible hit later on, but have learned from it and don't really plan on going into that here today), but ultimately it didn't matter too much because:

A.) Del Rey doesn't take unsolicited manuscripts. Basically, you need an agent before you can even think of submitting to them.
B.) Due to A. I can think of it more as practice as anything else. More like a "what not to do" when pitching to someone important.
C.) Having an agent is handy anyway because even though they get a little cut of your book's sales, they handle all the business goodies to get you the best deal and keep you from getting screwed over royally.

If she wanted a manuscript, as the editor-in-chief she probably could have made an exception and taken one, but I don't think any of us had an awesome pitch so doubtless nothing really struck her fancy. They're likely swamped with manuscripts as it is. 99.9% of editors are these days.

So, The Pitch: Fail.

Secondary spontaneous pitch to agent later on that day: Fail.

When I got home, almost immediately (that is to say, a few days later once I'd managed to save my dog from almost certain death, but that's a whole other story) I started to send out query letters to agents. I started with three and eventually branched out to five.

I got my first rejection after 24 minutes. *lol* Now, unlike a lot of writers, rejection doesn't bother me. I've been dealing with rejections since I was in high school. Solid writers know that rejection is pretty much inescapable. It might as well be "Death, taxes, and rejection" for us. Anywho, in some ways I was impressed. It meant my email was promptly examined and responded to. That's more than what you can expect from a lot of places. Who knows, maybe I hit the send button at just the right time.

But that's not the news I've been talking about in my other blogs.

The news is that one agency I queried emailed back and asked to see some pages. *squeal*

Now, for those of you who don't know, when you send a one-page query letter, you have to make it kick as much ass as possible in order to show the agent that you have a book worthy of their time and ultimately publication. You have to do that in one page. Trust me, that stuff is hard. I think I revised my query letter three or more times. Some agencies will ask to see pages along with a query letter - it all depends. But generally, it goes like this:

You send a query letter made of awesome.
If they like what they see, they ask for pages (anywhere from 10-50).
You have a small party by yourself and oblige.
If they like the pages, they ask for the entire manuscript.
You have a bigger party by yourself and skip around town and cross your fingers and send them the manuscript.
If they like the whole thing, then they call you and you basically have landed yourself an agent.
Now you can throw a party and include people (note: you can't throw a really big party until you're actually published, haha)

Currently, I'm at stage 3 of this process. I'm excited (and no, you don't get to know which agency it is, but suffice to say that I've examined their list of books sold and can easily identify several of them on sight. Probably wouldn't be true if I didn't work in a bookstore, but again, this is why working at a bookstore is helpful) and reeeeeeelly hope that they ask to see more. I'm all twitchy that they only get some of the mellow things in the beginning (after the prologue of course) and would love nothing more than to offer them the rest of the good stuff. But I'll have to wait. Still, it's one small step that could lead to more.

HOORAY!

Yes. This is an actual picture of my printed manuscript.

Information Wellspring

2009-06-09T21:47:00.005-05:00

I'm always on the lookout for informational goodies - books just chock-a-block full of nuggets focusing on a specific area. I thought today (er, tonight) that I'd share some of my findings. Some of these I own, most of them I want to own, and some I'd like to own but seriously have no use for them (yet...I'll probably get them at some point just in case. That and they're still super-interesting).

A World Treasury of Riddles by Phil Cousineau. In case you're looking for riddles, take a look at this book instead of the crap online. Not all of these riddles may work for you, but it's interesting to see some of the things different parts of the world have come up with.

Wicked Plants by Amy Stewart, my most recent find. Funny, because I remember some guy looking for this book many months ago, but neither I or whoever was looking it up thought much of it. It's got just about any poisonous or otherwise noxious plant you might want to know about, from the everyday poison ivy to the lesser known (at least to us) suicide tree. It's short, to the point, letting you know how the plant will kill or harm you, where its origins are, and how it spreads. It's a small book, for all it's nifty information, and one of the cooler books I've seen in a while.

Physics of the Impossible by Michio Kaku. Read it, loved it, and now own it. It was Dr. Who's box on the cover jumping through wormholes that caught my eye (yes, I kind of judge books by their covers, despite what we're all told). Kaku breaks it down into how "impossible" science fiction goodies really are, from ray guns to time travel. It's fascinating - even if you don't completely understand everything he's talking about all the time. Still, it's worth the read if you write SF in order to get a tighter grasp on some of your potential physics (depending upon what you're writing about and how hard you want the science to be). Read the full review here.

Weapon by DK Publishing. Anything made by DK automatically rocks my socks. Ever since I was a kid, I was always checking out DK Eyewitness books from the library. Dogs and Rocks and Minerals were my favorites. Imagine my joy when I discovered an adult version dealing with weapons. Naturally, they don't have everything, but they get close enough, complete with pictures and interesting tidbits, factoids, all in the spirit that is DK awesomeness. I don't have this one, and really wish I had the money for it, that way I could quit slogging through the Internet every time I want the name of a sword that I can't remember. It's a big book (not thick so much as just coffee table sized), and if weapons aren't your thing, there's also Warrior, Battle, and Battle at Sea. I just haven't had the proper time to examine them.

The Encyclopedia of Crystals by Judy Hall. I know. It's a new agey book, so how's that going to help? First of all, while I love DK stuff, I find that even their fieldguides can be a bit overwhelming. I've always loved rocks, minerals, gems, and so on, considered being a geologist when I was 6, and had a great time in geology class during college. But throughout all those years, never could settle on a good rock/crystal book. Now that I'm into Fantasy, I found a book that works out perfectly. This encyclopedia is color-coded and offers new age insight into what certain minerals and crystals can be used for (i.e. drawing energy, promoting power, and more). It does give some scientific bits as well, makeup, location, hardness, etc. But it's handy for magical systems and other spots that raw earth materials might be used. And it includes gorgeous pictures as well.

The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures by John & Caitlin Matthews. I did a lot of research for this one. I'd been trying to find a good, solid list of mythological creatures and as usual, found myself disappointed with the Internet. I compared this book to a few others, narrowed it to two, painstakingly compared those, and ended up with this one. It's an alphabetical listing of as many mythical creatures as you're going to find throughout the world and its legends. I needed new ideas for potential creatures and use this for inspiration. They say that good writers borrow, great writers steal. Well, I'm stealing animals and modifying them to my tastes and worlds, so there you go. The best part about this book? It's cheap. Jackpot.

Planet Earth - The Complete Series. Expensive as hell, but well worth it, especially if you've never seen it on The Discovery Channel. The pictures they capture are crystal clear and utterly amazing. There's so much going on on this planet that most of us don't know about and all sorts of nooks and crannies we've never seen. Even if it doesn't inspire you, you might find something in it you've already toyed with. For example, the ants that die from a fungus that literally makes them crazy and then grows out of them. I had a mini-freakout when I saw that because I did something incredibly similar in my thesis - only that was before I knew about the ant thing. Knowing it was real (albeit on a much smaller scale) was a bit unnerving.

That's all I have at this time. It wouldn't surprise me in the future if I found more.

Something to keep in mind

2009-05-02T21:31:00.006-05:00

The next time you find yourself fussing about how long it takes your favorite author to come out with a new book and then complaining when that book turns out to be crappy.

Interesting comments from Nick Stone (Mr. Clarinet, King of Swords):

"For some reason certain (though by no means all) publishers seem to think that quantity is the new quality. You know, get a new book on the shelves every year on the dot, regular as clockwork and Christmas. I understand the commercial reasoning behind it – up to a point (JK Rowling and Thomas Harris don't write a book a year - Thomas Harris never did that at all) – but, said publishers tend to forget the most important part of the equation – THE READER. You have to keep the readers happy. At all costs.

"The thing is, when you’re a writer on that book a year treadmill, you have six months to produce a book. For some writers that's just fine and they write according to those constraints and produce great work. But, for other writers, who'd maybe like to spend longer on their books, the process is hell. And it usually results in a quality “crack curve” – a quick, sharp peak (say the first two or three books), followed by a long ruinous descent (the rest). The books tend to read increasingly like tired contractual obligations, poor photocopies of a poor photocopy of a poor photocopy. The plots blur into one, the characters are empty vessels and the prose is a delivery mechanism for thrills and spills by rote. You can't fool your readers. They know when you're phoning it in. And they are ultimately your judges. They condemn you with their closed wallets and bad word of mouth.

"Publishers should remember the following maxim: if you feed your golden goose laxative you’ll just get shit."

See the full interview.

Careful what you wish for...

Seriously?

2009-04-04T16:18:00.002-05:00

I have to admit. I am a little annoyed.

I'm in the middle of revising my thesis, and at the moment I'm in the middle of an attack on an entire planet. A planet of creatures that have no desire other than to kill and enslave and create more of themselves (as most bad creatures tend to do). This is not Ender's Game. The bad guys here are not bad through a misunderstanding. There is no failed communication. If you fight them, they will kill you. If you are a woman, they will cut out all your reproductive organs and then let you heal enough to put you in a slave camp. If you are weak, you will die. If you are strong, you will be implanted with an explosive device. If you try to leave, you will die. If you survive all that, you will be a slave until you die. There is no handful of nice creatures in this species. They engineer themselves this way on purpose because they like the violence, the power, and the destruction.

I've put this in pretty much everywhere in my book to illustrate that these things are bad. No redeeming qualities. They're smart, but they're not going to share. Everything else is inferior to them and should die or serve (and eventually die).

Now, in the finale of the whole thing, the game plan (and not created by humans or Earth) is to wipe them out. A fleet moves toward the enemy homeworld in order to do the job and in doing so, lure the enemy ships back from what they are doing at present - attacking Earth (and we are not the first, and would not be the last). And as the bombardment begins, the main character thinks, Surprise, surprise, you sons of bitches, and there is a note from one of my critique members that says, "He's really eager to destroy an entire species. That makes me sad."

*twitch*

Now I love the girl, but that mindset makes me want to tear my hair out. Why? Why is this sad? That he's pissed off and wants them to stop killing people on his planet? That he's not sorry they're all about to get what they've been dishing out to a number of planets over the years? Sad that this fleet is about to kill off a genetically modified species that is not in its original form, will never be again, and would be equivelant to allowing a pack of rabid dogs run around your house unchecked?

We killed off an entire species in Independence Day. Did anyone think that was sad? Luke Skywalker blew up a Death Star which also happened to be full of people. Who thought that was sad?

People on this planet will freak out when a bear or tiger or other animal kills a person and demand that the animal be "put down" (just a nicer way of saying "Kill the bear before it kills someone else.").

*snort*

I guess I just don't understand the mindset. Maybe I'm just different. I don't feel empathy when a suicide bomber is killed before he can blow himself up at a market and kill 50 people. I simply do not feel sorry for people who wish to deal death and destruction upon others who are merely going about their day.

No, don't worry, it's cool. The killers can just keep on killing while we sit back and watch. ¬_¬

Thumbnail Nibble

2009-03-08T00:04:00.001-06:00

Many things, many things.

Crossover is finished, but still in the tweaking stage. Old news.

To keep my brain from melting into mush, I've taken on a new project. I probably shouldn't, seeing as I have 4 old manuscripts hanging out under my bed (not literally), needing major surgery. But hey.....what can I say? Besides, if I don't get this out of my brain, I might go crazy. I really, really wish pensieves were real. But it's a fun idea and I've decided to send that to my critique group rather than my thesis because I've had just about enough with that. Besides, I'd be sending the exact same thing to one out of my critique group and it doesn't do me any good to see the same things pointed out or different things that weren't pointed out earlier (which I find annoying as hell). Besides, I really wanted feedback on this new idea. I've been asking for all sorts of ideas everywhere, and for anyone who reads this blog still, here's one of the things I threw out there to the creative minds and if you want a whack at it too, go for it:

A person is in a room. The room has a swimming pool-sized depression in the center filled with puzzle pieces. The only way to leave the room is to find the one piece that matches the shape in the door. How do you find the right piece?

(NOTE: Use any method you like. Distort this scenario any way you please - do not focus on what genre this might be or what I might be looking for. The only limitation is that puzzle pieces must stay puzzle pieces, but you can change their substance - gold, glass, whatever. Use your imagination.)

Aside from all that, I think I may be slightly cursed. So far throughout this program, I've had a grand total of 2 mentors and 4 critique members. And so far I'm 50/50 on them not having something bad happen to them - mentors included. 1 person left the program, another person was hit with a nasty illness, and another person has had a few issues and now a car wreck. I'm beginning to worry for the remaining people associated with me. Besides, weird things apparently happen when I'm at residency (the power of invisiblity, developing new identities, and so forth), maybe it's sinking in around others and affecting them badly. *cue creepy music* I've wondered whether or not to warn my remaining two critique members. I think my other mentor is safe for now, being beyond the boundary lines of my evil influence.

Ah well. As always. I guess I'll go write. Never mind that it's 12:54 in the morning. Or, it being daylight savings time, technically 1:54 AM.

Whatever.

What to do, what to do?

Why Famous People Piss Me Off

2008-12-14T22:39:00.003-06:00

...even if it's for 15 friggin' minutes.

My thoughts exactly. (except for the part about Obama's book being great - I wouldn't know, I haven't read it, and quite honestly, don't ever intend to.)

1st vs. 3rd vs. crap

2008-12-11T15:40:00.002-06:00

I got an idea into my head a while back and couldn't shake it. Oh, I shook it long enough to finish my first draft of my thesis (wrings thesis's neck), but now that I only have this and that to revise (and I'm still missing a whole slew of critiques for various reasons and some I'm not so clear on and now I'm starting to get irritated because I want to revise and I CAN'T).

*ahem*

Ok. Back to what I was talking about. Basically, on this new book (which I really shouldn't be working on anyway, but fuck it, I am), I want parts of it to be in first person and other parts to be in third person since I want my audience to know things that are important, but still enjoy the first personness.

Actually, that's all beside the point because that isn't the problem. Not entirely anyway.

The 1st person POV is the issue. What I want is for the reader to get into it and enjoy it in the same vein as say, a Stephanie Plum book. I want it to feel immediate, fun, and with a sort of loose candor people can get behind.

Thus far, I'm sucking at it. I couldn't quite figure out why until I thought about how I was writing it and how it was coming out and where the kink was.

The kink, my friends, is in the prologue. Yes, anothe prologue. Hey, it's short and doesn't really work well as a first chapter.

The problem is that I wrote the first chapter as a sort of...semi-flashback. It ends in a way that shows the narrator already knows more than she does at the start of Chapter 1, thus making it so when Chapter 1 rolls around, it's more like a retelling of the story rather than an immediate this-is-happening-now story. No, I'm not writing it in present tense, but rather the usual past tense that has that immediate feeling. I'm reading a book right now by Hugh Laurie (yes, the actor, the guy who plays House, for those of you who watch House) and he's doing a better job than me. HUGH LAURIE.

FUCK.

Not to say that Hugh can't write, or rather, shouldn't be able to write. It's just that I know I can do this and the fact that it's coming out all wrong is pissing me off.

SO. Ok. Prologue makes the rest of the book (or at least the next several chapters of it) seem like a tale being related. It's killing the style. It's too past tense, as it were. The death of said style is ruining the emotion and such.

You know, I had all this sorted out easier into 3 reasons but rambling has ruined it, but it feels good to ramble so whatever. Let's try this:

1.) Prologue indicates narrator already knows what is going to happen, hence
2.) Subsequent chapters have already "happened" and narrator is simply retelling them hence
3.) Initial emotion of said chapters has already occurred, as have actions, thus immediacy is killed.

4...or D...or maybe one of those little subscript things.) I'm so used to writing in 3rd person by now, I think my ability to do 1st person is somewhat dimished.

I think that was them. Ish. So now I have two choices. I'll probably end up doing one of them instead of plowing ahead because this whole thing is annoying the fuck outta me.

1.) Fix the end of the prologue somehow so it doesn't give the "narrator already knows" impression
2.) Adjust the opening of the first chapter to adjust for the narrator knowing and doing a retelling (up until a certain point)

Either way I choose, I'll have to redo a lot of stuff. Still, at least I know where the problem is.

I dunno.

Ta Daaaa!

2008-11-05T07:55:00.003-06:00

It's done.

THE END

I've finally written those words at the end of my manuscript. My first draft is completed. All 416 pages of it. Yeah. 416. Over 100,000 words. Heh, kinda funny that I finish it during NaNoWrMo (National Novel Writing Month).

Of course, now I just have to revise the crap out of it. So the page number isn't solid. But yeah, it's over the required mark by plenty and I have no worries of it remaining there. It's not hte first time I've slapped THE END at the finish of a manuscript, but it is on one this big. My last largest piece was 240 pages. It doesn't surprise me that this one was double the size of that - I knew it was going to be massive when I started it. It was a big story filled with secrets and semi-betrayal and a bit of a love story and several massive battles. Whoo!

I actually finished it the same day I got the email for the Rooney Scholarship, so it was a good day. For those of you unawares, the Rooney Scholarship was one of two scholarships I went for. This one for short stories. In the past my short stories have sucked butt, but these two I worked on, spruced up (one completely new), and sent out. And then I had an email with "Rooney Scholarship" in the subject line and I sat here and said, "I did not just win that!" Yep. $500 less that I have to pay this term. Sweet beans, eh? I'm glad. Now if only the two places I sent my stories to would reply and let me know either yay or nay... God a yay would be effing fantastic...

Good times all around. After I finished my book I went downstairs kind of lost and said, "I don't know what to do with myself now..." I'd been writing for so long I wanted a break, but the idea that I didn't have to go back and write more (at least in the sense of writing to complete the first draft) kind of boggled me. It'll be nice to work on revising while working on other fun writing projects without the pressure of draft completion hanging over me.

YAY!

Someone sees dead people

2008-10-15T09:25:00.003-05:00

Some of you may wonder, why do I post a review of a book and then yammer on about it here? What's the difference? Well, you can't really see much of a difference in the book before this one, mostly because there's nothing extra to reveal. Here, I get to divulge everything, bitch about endings, go into details, and so forth, whereas people wouldn't be all that happy if I did it in my review. That's the difference.

On to The Everlasting. I guess I should have known better since Lebbon also wrote Berserk. What's that you ask? Most of us writers tend to have the same devices, similar characters, and elements in our books. We can't help it. It just comes naturally. Take me for example, 99% of the time there's a woman in my books that kicks ass, she's similar to her other book counterparts and they even have similar names. I probably shouldn't do that, but I can't help myself. So when Lebbon introduces the reader to Scott, a man heading toward his 50s, and interrupts things with flashbacks, yeah. Should have see it coming I guess. But you never know.

That's actually my only real problem with this book - I had a real hard time getting into Scott's character. In fact, we start off immediately with past events and memories of by-gone days. I don't ever feel properly introduced to Scott's character, and what's more, with the way he totally sobs over his wife's disapperance, I didn't have enough time or info or something to truly see how much they cherished on another. I mean, yeah, I don't doubt husband and wife love each other and whatnot, but Scott, for quite some time, just seemed to constantly break down into bouts of crying over the kidnapping of his wife.

That too, annoyed me. No, guys, I'm not saying you shouldn't be super upset when your wife goes missing, but geez, after the first few times quit crying and try to do something about it! Especially once you have a direction to go in! Get mad at least! Scott's personality felt flat to me, which is probably due to the introduction, and he never got pissed when he should have. I wanted him angry out of frustration, he should have been angry, demanding answers, God throw something why don't you? Hmph.

Aside from my disconnect with Scott, the story was interesting. We're on a quest to find and destroy an ancient book written centuries, maybe even millenia ago (well, probably not millenia because humans had to have been around to write it). The whole concept of the Wide and where you go when you die and all that jazz was cool and Lebbon did his best to explain it in terms that would boggle your mind even as you tried to imagine it. I'm still having trouble accepting the only way Scott would do anything was if Lewis kidnapped Scott's wife and did all that buuut oh well. Likewise I'm not sure why Helen would believe her kidnapper. I also don't believe that Tigre would just ignore Scott for the rest of his life. Tigre, if he really is who Nina said he was, sounds like the kind of guy that would take you out just because. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. I don't buy that he'll just accept that the book's gone and not kill Scott because of it.

Otherwise, it wasn't bad. Some good, horrific elements and creepy things going on, fit for the genre. Cool locals and Old Man was a nice addition. And, I must say, that Lebbon has finally applied my definition of immortal. I don't use that term lightly - if you're immortal and you can't die, then you can't die. None of this vampires are immortal stuff - no, vampires aren't immortal, they're just ageless. Vampires can die, easy as anyone else as long as it's done right. But not Lebbon's immortals. One gets cut in half, but she's still trying to drag herself together, then she gets shot in the head, but all the pieces start moving back to wake her up again. Now that's immortal.

Read the Review

Guy on the cover obviously not immortal/everlasting...

Feel the Horror

2008-10-10T09:45:00.004-05:00

I'm feelin' the horror.

Heh.

So ladies and gentlemen, you all want to know how my book is going?

*evil grin* Peachy.

In fact, I'm killing people left and right, putting my main character into a coma and totally fucking up their world. It's AWESOME. Yes, I've been waiting to do this for a long, long time. I only have a fe more things to cover (like, the massive battle that decides everyone's fate) and then voila! I'm finished. Grand. I'm on break now - I had to stop before my brain melted out of my ears. But I'll be back in full swing before you know it and polishing off this baby (I mean, honestly, I should be able to do that in the next 50 pages!).

Hee. *excited*

Now, on to the real reason for this post, On Writing Horror by Mort Castle. Or rather, edited I should say. Most WPF people have heard of or read this book by now. It was recommended to me by my mentor Gary Braunbeck since I said, "I need some horror in my life" (or something similiar since I was coming to that violent point in my book).

On Writing Horror is a book chock-a-block full of writing essays that include advice, tips, methods, and just general writer info. Even though I'm not writing horror, I do have horrific elements in my book, and besides, most of us know that genres tend to cross over to include bits and pieces that are typically associated with other genres (mystery + romance, romance + fantasy, etc.). Whatever your genre, this book contains plenty of goodies that work out well for any writer. I particularly love Tina Jens quote about characters and ducks (see top of blog). Well it's true isn't it?

It really is full of great stuff, and it's the kind of book that you either want to take notes on or just start photocopying favorite pages to save for later (that is, if you're like me and have no money or, more importantly, shelfspace, and have to get everything from the library). I was also really fond of Mort Castle's essay when he talks about falling into that kind of dreamy spot in order to get ideas. I practically squealed and thought, "I DO that!" Stuff like that makes me feel good because then I'm not the only person out there doing these things. Dr. McClain was right - time with like-minded companions helps. I used to do things to get ideas and always wondered, "Does anyone else ever do this?" In fact, 120 pages of my current novel came about during one of those zoney sessions. I slobbed in bed for around an hour years ago and played the entire thing out in my brain before getting up, going straight to the computer and typing all day and part of the next day (and I never do that - take my ideas straight from my brain to the keyboard. I write everything longhand so yeah...). Course, a cut a good chunk of that section because there was no possible way for it to work in the story, but who cares? I still used a good part of it. High-five to Mort Castle for making me feel not like a mutant.

Moving on, it's a book with some good resources in it as well as information that I hadn't thought of before or hadn't gotten the chance to find out previously. True, most of the resources are for horror writers, but there are some in there that work for SF and F writers as well (maybe a few Romance writers too, depending upon your tastes), mostly because people, editors and whatnot included, tend to lump H, SF, and F together. Which is fine, since we mingle a lot. I liked the piece by Scott Nicholson on promoting your book. Most of that stuff a lot of us already knew, but he goes into more detail and points out the how and a few of the where to get items and extra info.

Great stuff. And now I'm onto my last book, The Everlasting by Tim Lebbon!

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Awesome.

What's Another Word for Crazy?

2008-08-20T13:12:00.005-05:00

I finished Berserk by Tim Lebbon several days ago and am just now getting around to blogging about it. I slack off. Immensely. It's not funny how much I slack. It really isn't.

Anywho, not a bad book. Pretty solid with an interesting plot, though I got impatient at the start because Lebbon tended to go on and on about how much Tom missed his son Steven and blah blah and how much he loves his wife and blah blah and I sat there thinking, "Ok, I KNOW, let's move on now." Heheh. It's kind of like maybe Lebbon wrote it, revised it once, and didn't want to revise it again and said, "Pfeh. Just publish it as is."

The best part was not knowing whether or not Natasha (dead girl Tom dug up) would come back to life and rip Tom's flesh off his chest and snack on his organs or if she would let him live as thanks for getting her out of the ground. Hell, half the time I wasn't sure if she really was a little girl or not in terms of age. For all I knew she was 50 or something. I guess technically if she was maybe 10 when she got buried alive that would make her 20 (she was underground for 10 years). Not sure how much normal maturing you can do in 10 years while buried alive (normal being the operative word here), assuming she would have grown and matured similar to a human. Sounded like she would have.

The best parts were Natasha's flashbacks and the berserkers going nuts and ripping people apart with entrails flying through the air. Then seeing them being held by the military--which, I might add, wasn't American. So HA! America isn't the only country always getting put into print (representitive or otherwise) whose military hides secrets and in general, acts like some evil organization. That's good because that crap annoys the hell out of me. Still, even though the setting was in England, finding out at the end that berserkers weren't a normal everday group of ah, "people" naturally found on Earth but instead a military experiment was a letdown. Major bummer. Why? Well DUH. It's been done! And to add to that, I think Lane deserved to get shot, but that's only if he presented his family to the military and said, "Here, you can experiment on us." That wasn't really made clear, whether or not they willingly went into the arms of wacky science.

That brings up other weird issues. Cole mentioned his life was normal as a guard until the military brought in the berserkers from Iraq. Ok. Is that was he was told? Whatever the case, why did he get promoted from normal perimeter guard to #1 berserker guard? What put him in that position? And why wouldn't the military go after them? I think Lebbon ought to write the book on Cole and Natasha's story, the whole thing that led up to her getting buired alive.

Ah well. Still interesting and a weird spin on the concept of zombie and werewolf-anti-silver stuff. Also interesting, this is the third book I've read so far in that the main character gets bitten and/or his/her blood drunk that leads to him/her changing into another creature. Hmm...

Makes me wonder where The Everlasting by Lebbon will lead. I have yet to hear from the library which makes me think they can't get it as no one in their system has it. Guess that means I'll have to buy it. Not really a fan of that idea seeing as I literally have no shelf space. Oh and don't tell me just to pile it on the ground. People keep saying to do that. "Oh, I have piles of books on my floor, haha!" No. Sorry. I like my books to stay off the floor and remain on a shelf where they belong. Besides, my room is freaking tiny so there's a good possibility of them getting kicked.

Oh well. Onward and upward.

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Tell me that cover wouldn't catch your attention.

Live Girls

2008-08-14T06:36:00.006-05:00

I finished my second book, Live Girls by Ray Garton, in two days. If I'd started earlier, it very well might have been one day.

Live Girls was a ton more fun than Cabal. I was worried though. Why? Because who hasn't heard of the whole vampire women acting kind of like succubi and living in strip joints and drinking blood from men they sex up? I snickered to myself because the first similiar item that popped in my head was that ridiculous movie From Dusk Till Dawn. Likewise, sex and vampires seem to go together no matter where you look and it's kind of annoying and tiresome after a while. Vampire women? Doing it with plenty of men? Been there, done that. What's Garton going to do that's different?

Mm, plenty. Garton does some great stuff and while I mentioned in my ramblings about Cabal how I expect a horror book to freak me out, I realize I have to take that back. While a horror book ought to weird a person out, I forgot about the entertainment value. I had a good time reading this book. Garton kept things interesting, characters you wanted to see hang on until the end, and who would come out a vampire and who would come out dead.

My mouth lead me to acquire books that contained a fair amount of gore, so I got what I asked for. There's just about everything in here, from mutilated bodies to vomiting blood to vampires gone horribly, horribly wrong. In fact, those last two components and the reasons behind them are what made Garton's vampires unique. While crosses and holy water don't work "Fuck you Bram Stoker" (one of the best lines in the book), garlic causes a nasty little allergic reaction, but even better, if you're familiar with vampire stories out there where the vampire wants to be good and just drinks up on the dregs of society? Yeah. No dice here. Drinking up on some crack addict or someone with a certain disease can permanently screw up a vampire. I love the idea. It's like eating bad food. In most vampire cases the blood simply tastes icky, but it'll still sustain the vamp. Here, that's a big no-no and it's cost more than one vampire their...well not lives but their looks and shape more or less.

Every character mattered, had a place, and the story just kept on moving, even when you think one spot is a lull, it isn't or it quickly switches over. One of those books you have trouble putting down. I also wonder why sex seems to always couple with horror, but meh. Oh well. It's a good book. A bit tricky to find (thanks interlibrary loan!) but worth it, yes sir.

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Moral of the story: Be careful when you go to nudie bars, boys.

The Night Has A Hero (sort of)

2008-08-11T09:41:00.004-05:00

I've been itching to read something by Clive Barker for some time now. Cabal is now my official Clive Barker introduction.

Meh.

While I haven't yet read the short stories included in the book I have (I'm not sure if they're with every edition of Cabal or not), but I finished Cabal a week or so again and have since moved on to other things. I'd mentioned needing gore, or good examples of it, in the hopes of making, ah, messy things in my book a bit more visceral. Cabal had some good bits to that end, but overall I felt a bit let down by the story. It's only about 200 or so pages, but it feels shorter than that.

I think my main problem was that I never really got into the characters. At all. Boone was just some random guy who got sucked into all this. I never knew much of his history, which I suppose was necessary because of his "memory loss" but I was curious as to why he was visiting a doctor in the first place. In fact, when I pictured the guy, despite the fact that seeing a psyciatrist is expensive, I thought of him as scruffy, scary-looking, almost of a homeless guy quality. I didn't have much to go on. I didn't even know he was supposed to be handsome until his girlfriend took over the story and said Boone was a fine-looking guy. The story was actually hers...sort of. The blurb made it seem like hers, she had the most camera time (so to speak), though there was the occasional head hopping.

I wanted to see more of Midian. For those of you wondering, Midian is a place where all the super-freaks, creatures, and monsters of the world live, staying out of the sunlight and away from people who would kill them without a second thought. I would have liked to explore that place, it's history, and more of the things that inhabit it. But to no avail.

Maybe I would have liked it better if I were more in tune with the characters - when Lori was in danger of getting killed by a total psycho, I hardly felt her fear. I don't often read horror, so when I do, I expect it to totally freak me out. I mean, hell, I still have fear the dark from time to time. Just last night I had a paranoid chill up my back and looked over my shoulder into a dark room and in my mind, threatened whatever was lurking in there with death, or at least one hell of a fight. So for this story, in which the dark contains all sorts of weird things creeping around, to leave me feeling "meh" and without any extra fear of, well, anything (not like I need any), is a bit disappointing. Maybe I would have liked it better if Midian wasn't under attack by a bunch of podunk small town cops (in Canada no less). By the way, all the inhabitants of Midian knew what was coming. One creature had a procog vision of it. The head honcho that created Midian knew they'd be invaded. And they didn't put up a few snags? No defense? I mean, if creature-A knew creature-Bob was going to die, wouldn't Bob not stand by the door later on? Maybe they didn't know the exact circumstances, but still, when creature-A starts naming names, wouldn't those named get as far away from the surface of danger as possible?

I also wish I would stop critiquing books as I read. I noticed Barker did a lot of this:

"Do you think so?" said Lori.
"Of course," came the reply.

A lot of "came the reply" tags. It kind of sucked when more than one person was involved with the conversation. I felt like Blinkin of Robin Hood: Men in Tights. "Pardon? Who's talking?"

Normally my imagination runs wild. Not so much here. I would have preferred to stick with Boone and explore Midian. Find out what happened to Peloquin. I don't care that the head sheriff gets his best ideas on the crapper. *snort* Little things, mostly.

Anywho, one down, four to go. Live Girls or Berserk will be next. Shouldn't take long to read them either. 3 days for each, max.

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<-- Kuski's work makes me think of Midian. Check it out, it's liquid awesome.

Oh dear

2008-07-02T17:28:00.004-05:00

During residency (which I have yet to blog about in the Life O'Me section, and when I do, you'll all get to hear about the crazy things that happened, from my invisible powers to The Battle of Farrell Hall) I discovered that it was Mystery's turn to choose the book to read. I took a look at the list of possibilities and lo and behold, there was a book I'd read back in November - In the Woods by Tana French. I had a brief panic attack and from then on "casually" mentioned to anyone around me that "I hope they don't pick this one. It wasn't that good." The blurb offered up by the book was misleading, which is likely why I was irritated with the whole thing.

I have mixed emotions about this book. I reviewed it and while I rant on about how I dislike it, I did give it 4 stars. Yet if I had to read it again (which I suppose is expected...maybe?), I wouldn't. Er, in this case, won't. No thanks. I gave it 4 stars because of the skill involved with the book, much of the plot, as well as other items but overall it's defintely not something I'm ever going to rush out and buy (such as when I saw it at work the other day released in paperback - I kind of snorted, waved my hand at it, and walked on). I just think...if no one liked Lies of Locke Lamora...oh god. The horror....

So, for any WPF people reading this and who may be curious about my likes and dislikes, check out the review.

And just so you all know, I don't dislike mysteries - I just was not all that jazzed about this one. Looking at the reviews at BN.com, I realize I'm not the only one. Good to know.

Currently: They did what?